Apparitions ( Graser10 & Stacyplays )

09

S t a c y

     We sat on the porch of Zachary's backyard. His birthday party was over, and I could tell he was mad. I didn't mean to ruin his fun celebration, but someone had to bring a bottle.

     "Are you going to talk about it or just ignore me for the rest of your life? We have a mess to clean up inside, and I don't want things to be awkward as we take down streamers." I said quietly, adding humor to try at making things alright.

     His breath was visible in the cold, "This is the worst birthday of my life."

    He made me feel even worse as I dug my head into my knees, trying to avoid his red blotchy face, "I'm sorry."

     "You kissed Parker. And Will kissed you. Don't you think it was a little set up? I told you Sydney had other plans in befriending you." Zach's voice held the truth.

    Bringing my head up, I scowled, "It's not like we're dating. I don't see the big deal anyway. You've kissed plenty of girls in front of me and I didn't get mad."

    Taking off his lame party hat and throwing it on the ground, I could see his anger, "Really? Who the hell did I kiss!?"

     I watched snow hit the already white ground, "Sydney. Back in seventh grade."

    "That didn't matter-"

     Cutting him straight off, I lashed out, "Neither did this! We all laughed it off! I don't see why you're so upset!"

    "Jesus fuck. Stacy get a clue!? I like you. I like you a lot, more than you ever even saw!" He cried.

    My face heated up, "Why haven't you ever tried to tell me? If you knew I was so oblivious? You knew full well that I like you too! I told you in seventh grade and all you wanted was her!."

     It was quiet a minute before I spoke again, "Or does that not matter too?"

    When I got no answer. I decided that he could clean up the mess without me. And maybe I'd take Parker up on the offer to go out next Friday. Anything better than being stuck with Zach.

    Standing up, I walked passed him to the door, hearing his chair creak. His motions had sound as he grabbed my wrist and spun me around to face him. My already flustered cheeks becoming like fire as I saw his look. Waiting for some other action.

     Leaning forward, he placed his mouth on mine and kissed me harder than those two boys did. Hand still gripped on my wrist like a shackle. We both refused to move.

      Memory 04

       Seeing that Zach was comfy in his bed, sound asleep, made me awe. Ignoring the adorableness to throw my cat on his stomach and flip on the light as he started to groan.

    "You have my cat and you didn't tell me!?" I practically yelled.

     He grabbed his pillow and put it over his head, "Your mom gave Milquetoast to me. He's annoying."

     The white fluff looked at me with his sweet eyes and meowed before settling on Zachary's chest. His eyes becoming slits as I stood in the doorway. The boy was asleep again. And not even throwing an animal on him worked.

    "Where's your Christmas decorations?" I asked, lifting his pillow from his face as I sat next to his bed.

    Groggy face and squinted eyes, he looked at me with a ridiculous amount of annoyance, "In the basement. I don't want to put them up."

     "You're such a bummer you know?" I sighed, scanning his room in the dying daylight.

     His drawer on his dresser was opened, and as we both sat in silence, Milque made his way ontop of the tall structure. The felines head disappearing in and out of the drawer, paper rattled as he did so. The kitty popping back up finally with a chunk of the said paper in his mouth. Jumping down and fleeing as I stood up to see if what he was going to eat was important.

    Pulling out two brown bags, I opened them to find pill bottles. Still fresh with the seals from the pharmacy. Antipsychotic was in bold with Zacharys full name beneath. The other pills being a duplicate. I looked back at the boy and wondered what really  happened in his mind while I was dead.

     Antiphycotic was for those with schizophrenia and depression. And deep down, I knew he probably needed the medication for both. Health class only now being useful.

    Setting them down, I sat on the edge of his bed and watched as he lifted the pillow to look at me again, "I kinda thought you disappeared and all of this was fake."

    "Kinda? Or hoped?" I laughed nervously.

     He sat up and stretched, "No. I missed you. But you do take a toll on my head. Seeming how I can't pinpoint what's going on here. You are supposed to be buried in the church cemetery."

    Dangling my feet, I met his eyes, "Do you think it would be better if you took your meds?"

    "Oh, you found them. They don't work. They make it worse actually." He was quieter, noticing the brown bag.

     I felt bad for even mentioning it, so I leaned my head on his shoulder, and watched our two hands lay next to each other, "Make what worse?"

    "Hallucinations. My sense of reality. It actually aids me in this whole situation. It makes me know whats real and whats fabrication. The pills are terrible." I could tell that his self image was shit.

    Intertwining my fingers with his, I felt warmer, "What happens when you're schizophrenic? "

     He looked deflated, "Shadowy figures that don't exist eat me alive. They choke me, stab me, suck me away. Even giving me images of drowning in their black muck. And it makes me angry to see them. I'm a violent person now."

    "I'm sorry Zachary."

     Chuckling, he squeezed my hand, "It couldn't possibly be you that has sorrow. I threw myself into this. It was grief and loneliness. I replaced the thought of you being dead with dark things. I'm a loon. Everyone says I'm crazy, and I believe it."

    I grimaced, "You're not crazy. But if you where, it's okay. Everyone has a little crazy in them. "