reef knot

four

Isn't that... me?

I watch as my twelve-year-old self runs towards my mom, abandoning the bear as she wraps herself in my mother's embrace. "Mommy," she starts to cry as well.

The next scene, I remember all too well.

"Your daughter is beautiful."

A voice beside me suddenly says, and I turn to see a figure emerging from the master bedroom, slowly approaching my mother with a sly smirk on his face.

"Jung Minho," my mother's voice suddenly hardens, her eyebrows scrunching together to form a glare. Protectively, she shoves the little girl behind her, extending her hands outwards to shield the twelve-year-old me. "Leave my daughter alone."

No.

The man's smirk widens at her words, and from the side, I see the sharp glint of metal standing out from his dull-colored jeans.

No, no, no.

"Leave your daughter alone?" Jung Minho draws the dagger from his pocket, twirling it in his hands as he crouches down to meet Mom's aggressive stare. "But if I leave her alone, who will pay the price for your beloved husband?"

"Mommy," my twelve-year-old self mumbles softly, voice trembling in terror as she shakes her head vigorously.

I might have been young back then, but I knew full well what was going to happen next.

"I will," Mom tells him, slowly getting to her feet and staring the man in the eye. "Take me, and leave my family alone."

Jung Minho contemplates this, cocking his head to the side as he ponders. "You have a son too, don't you?"

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM!" Mom yells, before raising a hand and bringing it down across the man's face.

"YOU BITCH," Jung Minho roars, before lifting the hand holding the blade. With hardly any hesitation, he buries the knife into Mom's gut.

With little effort, the knife slices through my mother's skin and digs straight in.

"MOM!" I cry out, sprinting towards her.

Red liquid spurts from her mouth as she falls to the ground, the knife still stuck in her gut. But she doesn't scream. She doesn't yell. She doesn't even groan in pain.

"Jiyoung-ah," she turns her head slightly backwards, glancing at her young daughter, still sitting in the corner as she watches the life slowly drain out of the bleeding woman.

Collapsing beside my mother, I try to stop the bleeding, but my hand passes right through her, as if she were air.

"MOM!" I yell again, but she hardly notices me, her gaze lingering on the twelve-year-old girl behind her.

Beside me, Jung Minho laughs. "Keep the knife as a souvenir," he winks at the dying woman, before sauntering out the front door, his feet thudding steadily against the ground with every step.

"No, no, no, no," I shake my head furiously, attempting to remove the knife, but just like before, my hand goes right through it.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I turn to scream at the twelve-year-old girl, still shivering in horror as she watches her mom die in front of her.

"Jiyoung-ah," my mother repeats, her voice a bare whisper this time.

I look back down at her, my eyes watering as more blood spurts from her mouth.

"I love you."

***

"Park Jiyoung!"

A voice jolts me out of dreamland, and I immediately bolt upright on the soft mattress. Breathing heavily as if I've just run a marathon, I turn to meet the worried gaze of Min Yoongi.

"You were screaming the whole house down!" he scolds, his worry quickly turning to annoyance.

"So-sorry," I mutter. "I'm sorry," I say again, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

I burst into tears, my already-sore eyes telling me that I was crying in my sleep.

"I'm sorry," I choke, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Yoongi freezes, his eyes widening as he watches me break down, this situation all too familiar to him. "H-hey, don't cry," he mutters awkwardly. "Oh gosh, why do I always get myself into these kind of situations," he mumbles.

Stepping forward, he wraps his arms around my shoulders, pressing my head to his stomach with one hand. "Alright, don't cry, or your father will say I've been bullying you and my pay will be cut," he consoles me, "You can scream all you want, okay? I won't interrupt anymore, just stop crying alright?"

"You ass," I sob, the muscles of my chin trembling like a small-child's, "if this is how you comfort a girl, then good luck on getting a girlfriend when you grow up!"

"Oh my god, you're the first person I've seen who talks this much when crying," he tells me, his hand forming a steady rhythm on the side of my skull. Taking a deep breath, he softens his voice by a few tones, "It was just a bad dream, okay? Don't cry, or your eyes will swell and you'll become even uglier than you already are."

"You're such an ass," I weep, but allow him to continue soothing my shaking body.

Soon, I start to calm down, and my breathing evens. With a few more pats on my head, I find the lids of my eyes slowly getting heavier, and before I know it, I've drifted off to sleep.

+

this book is so draggy omg but it'll get better i promise <3 thanks for reading ~~

<hoseokieomo>

p.s. HOLY CRAP DID Y'ALL WATCH MAMA YESTERDAY OMG MY BABIES WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR I'M SO PROUD OF THEM YOU CAN'T IMAGINE T^T