Carl looked a bit worried but followed me up to our room. I shut the door behind us and sat Carl on the bed. "Babe, what's going on? Your worrying me" he said. I blinked back another wave of tears as I stared at the blankets. "Babe?" He said, catching my cheek in his hand and raising my eyes to his. I sighed, "Carl..." I squeezed his hand. "I-I'm pregnant" I finally whispered. Carl's grip on my hand loosened. His eyes looked big and shocked. He didn't say anything. I started to cry and stood to leave. I knew he wouldn't want a baby. That's when Carl's expression softened, he grabbed my wrist and softly pulled me back down.
He sat me lightly on his lap, like he thought I was gonna break. "(Y/N)..." he murmured. Kissing my cheek. I turned to face him, tears still falling. "It's gonna be ok" he said gently, kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes as I felt his hand softly on my stomach. I placed my own hand over his. "Oh my god" Carl said with a faint smile. I noticed that he was crying. Seeing Carl crying made me wanna cry even more. I cupped his cheek and kissed his lips softly. I wiped his tears with my thumb. "Babe, we're gonna have a baby" Carl said with a worried laugh. I smiled lightly at him. "We are" I finally mumbled.Carl placed his forehead on mine. And there we sat, crying, smiling, laughing.
3 weeks later ~
Carl basically hasn't left my side since I've told him. I'm surprised he even lets me use the washroom on my own. So far everything has been going smoothly but we don't really have any real doctors here so you never know. When Carl and I had told everyone that I was pregnant they were super supportive and have been really helpful.
Carl and I are sitting on the couch. Carl has his left hand on my stomach and his right hand laced with mine. He leaned down and lightly kissed my stomach. I smiled at how adorable he is. I also swallowed back the urge to cry. Lately I've been super hormonal...and hungry. "Have you guys thought of any names yet?" Michonne asked us as she entered the room. We glanced up at her and Carl sat up straight. "No...not yet anyways" I answered slowly. She nodded along and picked at the bread in her hand.
Carl kissed my forehead as he stood up to go help Glenn with something. When he left Michonne came and sat next to me. "He's gonna be a great dad. He's so excited" she said warmly. I smiled and nodded me head, "he's great" I sighed. Michonne put her hand over mine. "He's so good with Judith already, imagine him with his own" she murmured. I was silent for a moment. "Do you wanna know something?" Michonne asked me. I glanced up, "what?" I asked her. "The other night when I was heading to bed I peeked in Judith's room. Carl was in there trying to braid her hair." She paused for a moment. My vision got a bit blurry when she said that. "He was talking to her about how she might have a friend her age to play with. He kept trying to braid her hair until she almost was asleep. Then he kissed her goodnight and I left before he could see me."
A tear rolled down my cheek. "Honey, why're you crying?" She asked as she wiped the tear with her thumb. I shrugged my shoulders and sniffed. "Jus-just what if something goes wrong? What if something happens to the baby?" I asked worriedly. "Carl, he'll be heartbroken, he already loves it" I sad, seeming to grasp at the words as I clung protectively to my stomach. Michonne cocked her head, "sweetie, that baby will be born just fine. And it will have the most loving parents and family it could ever ask for" she said with a kind smile.
I didn't answer, I stared at my hands. "I-I just feel so bad for having to bring a baby into this world. It's hard enough on us let alone a baby." I muttered. "(Y/N)?" Michonne said, "do you even want this baby?" I started into her eyes for a moment, "of course I do, I want it more than anything."
A month 1/2 after~
It was past twelve and Carl and I were asleep. I was definitely starting to show. A small bump protruded rather annoyingly out of all my clothes. Carl said I looked very mature, I for some reason started crying of course.
My eyes snapped open. An excruciating pain was shooting through my stomach. I could barley say Carl's name through my clenched teeth. "C-Ca-Carl!" I said as loud as possible. Tears dribbling down my face as I clenched my stomach. I screamed and bit down on my lip, not wanting to awake everyone. "What?" Carl said groggily, apparently not hearing my scream. "S-something's wrong" I cried out. I felt like something was clawing at me, I've never experienced pain like this before. "Oh my god!" Carl said, seeming awake now. He looked down at my stomach and squeezed my hand before jumping up and running out into the hall in his boxers. I tried to breathe in and out but it didn't work.
Carl seemed to be gone for ages. I just sat there, crying, wheezing, occasionally screaming and in tons of pain. Carl burst through the door with Carol, Maggie, Daryl and his dad. "(Y/N), we have to get to the doctors" Carl said, his eyes looking red. That's when I noticed that Carl's right thigh looked sticky and red. I could barely talk so I just pointed. He looked down and his eyes widened. I started to cry again as a new wave of pain washed over me. "Come on sweetie, we have to hurry" Maggie murmured. I weakly nodded my head and threw back the blankets. That's when I saw the blood. I don't know how I didn't notice that I was lying in my own blood.
My legs shook and I fell into Carl. My bare legs and shirt were stained a sick red and that's when we all knew. I'd lost the baby. Daryl scooped me up and we all ran down the stairs. Carl almost fell over as he ran after us while putting on pants. Maggie threw a blanket over and I huddled against Daryl. We ran down the street and I screamed as my stomach exploded with agony again. I didn't think I had any tears left. We finally got to the doctors and threw open the unlocked door. Lucky for us Denise was asleep at her table. Daryl set me down on the bed, his eyes looked sad and worried. Denise rushed over as the five of them watched me, nothing they could do. My eyes fluttered shut and I blacked out.
The next day~
I couldn't remember anything about last night. Maggie had to tell me all over again that I had lost the baby. I'd started to shake and I sobbed hysterically. Carl was crying to. I didn't know what was the worst part of it. The fact that we were so close to starting a family? That Carl seemed to excited? That we had decided that if it was a girl to name it Sophia and if it was a boy to name it Ty? I don't know, all I know is that this pain was a thousand times worse than what I went through last night.
I was still lying in the bed at the doctors. Carl was laying next to me, my head on his shoulders, our hands laced together. Every now and then someone would come and check on us and see how we're doing. They all seem as heartbroken as us. I hadn't been able to shower yet and neither had Carl so we were both still covered in blood. My lips were chapped and my eyes were puffy and red and swollen. So were Carl's. I reached up and kissed Carl lightly. He stroked my hair and I closed my eyes. I was so tired and my stomach still hurt. "I'm so sorry" I whispered. Silence. "You have nothing to be sorry about sweetheart" Carl said quietly. "I got our hopes up" I murmured. "It should've been me not the baby."
Carl tensed up. "Don't ever say that, you're the most important person to me. If you died I'd be lost. I already lost my mom to a baby I don't need you saying that you should've as well!" Carl said, his voice cracking. I looked up and buried my face in his chest. "I'm sorry, I just feel so bad. And like we'll never be the same." Carl touched my cheek lightly, "we won't, this will stay with us forget. But we'll find a way to get past it babe. We always do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow so that was a long one. However I hope you guys liked it...I really enjoyed writing it. I think the ending was pretty weak though, buuuut whatever. Tomorrow's Wednesday! Yay, that means I have a short day! Have a good Wednesday as well.
Song you should try:Weak/AJR
Love you all, Lily
{Paralyzed}
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