I am aware that I skipped thirty-two. It does not exist. Whooppps.
"Hey, Babe." James said, stepping into my flat. He leaned down for a kiss on the cheek but I had already stepped aside to let him in. I didn't look at him, not wanting to see the confusion on his face. James walked in slowly, closing the door behind him and following me to the couch where I had already sat myself.
"What's up, are you feeling better?" James asked hesitantly, sitting on the other end of the couch, still not realising something was off. I tried to keep my breathing even and nodded slowly, looking at him but not in the eye.
"I'm feeling better, I think I've sorted some things out." I said, withholding a bit of information for the exact right moment.
"Well I'm glad to hear it. You should just ignore the people that say rude things. They're jealous or just ignorant." James said reassuringly, reaching out for my hand. I quickly lifted my hand and ran it through my hair, pushing it away from my face. Hurt flashed across James' face and he cleared his throat.
"I called Joe." I said after a pause. James lifted his face to meet my gaze, but I still didn't meet his eyes.
"What did you talk about?" James asked, not letting his voice become anything but even and calm, even though I knew he was confused and worried.
"I told him about everything that's been going on. And I asked him if there was any way I could get out of the contract." I admitted, my heart falling to my stomach. It hadn't set in what I'd done until right about now, when James' face fell.
"Elizabeth, you can't be serious." James interjected, but I shot him a look, telling him it was my turn to talk.
"Joe was surprisingly understanding. And he said I'd done what I needed to do. He also said that... If I really wanted to do that I could end this fake relationship." I went on, staring at my hands. James stayed still beside me, his eyes trained on me.
"You have to know at this point it's not fake for you, Liz." James insisted quietly.
"That's the problem, James. This was all supposed to be fake. And now I don't know where I stand, how I really feel anymore." It felt good but also sickening to let it out, to tell him theatruth. "None of this was supposed to be real, but these things I've been feeling since I've met all of you has been more real than anything. And I think it should stop before anyone gets hurt by the truth." I finished, picking at my nails.
"Liz, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. It's not up to Joe or anyone else anymore. If what you feel for me is real, you can let me stay. We can put everything behind us, none of this has to be for anyone else but us." James insisted. I shook my head, clearing my throat to hold back my shaky breathing.
"I'm ruining your reputation, your fans hate me. And I hate me, what I've done, too. And that's why I need you to leave, because I'm ruining this for us." I said quietly. James let out a breath, a very weak and frail breath.
"Elizabeth, I don-" James stopped himself, clearing his throat. "If you want this to be over, just tell me to leave and I will." James said, an edge of finality and desperation in his voice. I refused to look up, I couldn't see what I was doing or I might go back on all of the decisions I'd made. They were what was for the best. Or at least that's what I'd tried to convince myself.
"Please leave." I said with as much strength as I could manage. There was a pause and a pathetic noise left James' mouth, a mangled sort of sob/cry. I bit my lip to keep from saying anything that would be stupid. James stood from the couch, moving to leave.
"Wait-" I said before I could stop myself. James froze. I reached down, knowing that this was the real end, as soon as I took the watch off my wrist. But I did it anyway, unclipped the watch, standing and holding it out to him. James stared at the watch in my hand, looking up at me for a moment before taking the watch with shaky hands.
"Thanks for everything." I mumbled, closing the door behind James. As soon as the door closed, I heard a muffled sob from outside. I knew I would regret it as soon as I did it, but I stood on my tip toes and peeked through the peep-hole. What I saw made bile rise up in my throat. There was James, leaning against the opposite wall, his hands in his hair as tears streamed down his face.
