My Own Way

Chapter 25 - Part 2 of 2

I made my way to the living room where my parents were.  They were sitting close, next to each other, my dad's arm around my mom's shoulders.  They looked peaceful and relaxed.  I loved watching them, they were still the same couple, so much in love as I remembered from when I was little.  As a child, I was fascinated by them and I still was.  My mom's posture was more inclined towards my dad with her head bent just a bit towards him.

"You always do that." My dad said.

I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or to my mom.  I wasn't in their direct eye sight but maybe he sensed me.

After a few seconds of silence and both their eyes still on the TV, my dad continued.  "Ever since you were little…watching from afar."

"How on Earth did you know I was standing here?  You can't even see me." I asked.

"I'm your father, I know you." He said and my mom chuckled.

"So true.  I remember at the apartment, she always stood in the corner between the kitchen and living room." My mom said smiling but still not looking my way.

Rolling my eyes I walked closer towards them and sat down on one of the chairs.

"I wish one day, I'll have something like you guys have." I said but kept my voice down.

My mom looked at me.  "We're not perfect baby.  Relationships needs work everyday.  We argue, we make each other angry and sometimes I even want to pull my hair out because it can also be very frustrating but...I wouldn't want to argue, be angry or frustrated with anyone else.  There are bad times but there are amazing times as well.  I wouldn't change anything because I'm so happy where I am now.  Our family is everything that matters to me." She said smiling at me as my dad and I smiled at her.

"Well said mon amour." My dad whispered, loud enough for me to hear and then kissed her temple.  "There are many ups and downs in a relationship but if you can't imagine any of those moments without that one person, then maybe, just maybe it's the right person for you." He said.

"I'm nervous." I told them.

"I know.  Are you ready to tell him?" My mom asked.

"Yeah I'm just nervous of the outcome." I confessed.

"You can only control you, what you say and what you do, everything else is out of your hands baby." She said.

"What do I do?" I asked, still confused.

"Good question.  As a child, many things are out of your control but now you're an adult who can think for yourself and do what you want to do.  You can control your actions but you have to realize that you can't control others...you wouldn't want to anyhow.  I want someone in your life that wants to be there not because he has to but because he truly wants to." She said with a small smile.

I slowly nodded my head.  After several seconds of silence I told them I was leaving.  Blake should be getting off work soon and I wanted to meet up with him, besides the house was a bit full with my grandparents around and I felt awkward with the conversation we just had.

My mom got up, off the couch, and gave me a hug.  "Good luck baby.  If you need us, you know were we are and we are just a phone call away...  I love you very much." She whispered in my ear.

"I love you too mom."

She pulled away and I went to my dad who was still sitting on the couch.  "Bye dad, love you." I said while giving him a hug.

"I love you too honey.  Let us know how it goes okay?" He asked and I nodded my head.  I pulled away and smiled at him.  "I'll see you guys soon." I told them.

"Drive safe." My mom added before I left the living room.

"Will do." I answered.

I grabbed my things and said goodbye to my grandparents, wishing them a good night while keeping my distance.

I left the house and walked towards my car feeling very nervous.  I texted Blake asking if he was going home after work and if I could come over.  

My cell phone buzzed and I read, 'Leaving work in five then going home.  No need to ask, come over any time.' He replied.

'See you soon.' I texted back.

I left my parents house and slowly made my way over to Blake's apartment.  I was so nervous I felt like I was going to throw up.  I kept repeating over and over in my head that what I was going to tell him wasn't a big deal, that I was a kid and I was too young to know what I was doing except there was a little voice inside my head telling me that none of that mattered, I still killed someone. 

 

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I know it's only December 30th but I wanted to wish you all a very happy New Year!  I hope 2014 brings all of you health, love, joy, happiness & so much more!  Be safe & drive safe!

xxx