My Little Decoy

♪ We Only See Straight Ahead ♪ {33}

"But now we aren't looking backward
We won't try raising the dead
We only see what's in front of us
We only see straight ahead." -Fast In My Car

When I was little, I had a motto; it was a simple phrase that haunted my footsteps like a phantom, hanging over my shoulders and whispering seductively into my innocent ears.

It will all be worth it in the end.

For some unknown reason, it felt as if the end was barreling towards myself at the speed of sound. The last month had been a metaphorical rollercoaster as I took countless dips and turns along with the competition. It was more than I assumed it would be like back when I first came to know my band. My family.

Though it was only the beginning, what with finally getting into the heart of the competition, it felt like I was gliding on air and soaring through the weeks. The days were passing by at unbelievable speeds. Chasing Avenues were on their way to the top and on their way to acheiving their dreams.

And I was growing closer and closer to my own.

It had been two days since my meetup with Mike, and two days since Blake's phone call. During the span of those two days, I, along with Xander, called an immediate band meeting to discuss the good news. It was reluctant, what with my attitude and Gabriel's harsh words from the heated fight from before, but Zac and Drake had managed to coax the lead vocalist into coming.

We had met up at the park, by my bench, and the conversation was anything short of ordinary. I thought back to the reunion, letting out a soft chuckle.

--

Sitting cross-legged in the center of the rickety bench, claimed only by the scrawled initials L.C. etched into its wood, I stared out at the lakeside view ahead of me, silent but thoughtful. It wasn't meant to slip out, but I was growing despondent for it was thirty minutes past our designated meeting time. "Do you think they'll show?"

"Is the sky blue?" Xander snorted sarcastically from my right, sitting haphazardly on the arm of the bench after I had slapped his arm for trying to take a seat on my beloved park bench.

"I don't know," I murmured, laying my head down his lap and continuing to watch the waves lap against the shoreline. "It looks pretty grey and shitty today. Maybe Mother Nature's on her period."

Xander's body vibrated as he laughed, tickling my cheek. "They'll show, Carson."

"What makes you so sure of it?"

"We're family." said he, his voice filled with confidence. "They wouldn't just leave us because of one stupid argument." I didn't reply, tracing the woodwork of the bench with a solitary finger.

The sound of rustling in the bushes behind us made us both look up. Emerging from the forestry were three familiar figures, though only two pairs of feet could be seen.

"Put me down!" Gabriel demanded, squirming roughly against Drake and Zac's hold. The two had Gabriel perched on their shoulders, holding him down like a lumberjack hauling wood through the forest.

"If you insist." Drake sang and he and Zac both dropped the vocalist onto a pile of autumn leaves, where the latter sputtered in distress.

"Sorry we're late." Zac rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish expression. "Gabe was being a pain in the ass."

It didn't matter that they were late. I already felt the grin sliding onto my lips. What mattered was that they showed up. Hoisting myself off the bench, I made my way to where Drake and Zac stood side by side, scooping them both up in a hug.

It was such an out of character thing for me to do that they both just stood there in shock. I just held them closer, smelling the faint trace of lemons and guitar wood. It really wasn't something that I, Lacey Carson, would do, but I had been scared that it was over. Them showing up proved it wasn't.

As I pulled away, Gabriel had managed to right himself, dusting off leaf remnants from his Dire Straits shirt. He glanced in my direction, his scowl deepening. "Don't even think about giving me a hug too." he warned. I took the liberty of complying, knowing fully that I didn't want to piss him off even further. There was no need to spoil the good news.

"So, why did you tell us to come?" Drake chirped, a curious gleam in his eyes.

I glanced over my shoulder to find Xander still in the same position he was before but with a smile on his face. The smile only grew in reassurance as my expression grew nervous and I beckoned him to my side with a wave of the wrist. Sliding off the bench, he took a spot beside me.

I noted how the breeze made his blonde locks ruffle, giving it an edgier vibe. He sported an Imagine Dragons shirt and tight fitting jeans that hugged his waist, accompanied by a pair of ratty Nikes. It hadn't occurred to me how much Xander had evolved during the month too. Back in our posse, he was the Abercrombie model who tried to hard to be funny, who got on my nerves for always trying to get on my good side.

Yet now, he seemed more mature in a sense. A true glimpse of who he really was inside. He was a true friend, despite it all. I realized with a jolt as he nudged his arm against mine in reassurance that he was much more than that. He was my rock, my anchor. Xander was my best friend.

"Ogling at me again?" said best friend teased. I rolled my eyes and flicked my gaze back to the band. Drake stood in all his glory, sporting a leather jacket over an Arctic Monkeys shirt, his arms crossed over his chest as his expression remained curious albeit a little excited. To his left, Zac looked as if he could blend into the scenery within a moment's notice, like he always did. He wore a Green Day shirt and black jeans, hands shoved meekly into his pockets. He gave me a comforting smile, one that I had grown fond of seeing.

And then came Gabriel, who towered over the other two in the center, his arms at his sides. His expression was impassive as he snapped towards my direction, "So? Spit it out?"

I took a deep breath. "Before I tell you guys, I just want to... I want to say..." Wincing at how weak my voice was sounding, I cleared my throat and started again. "I'm sorry."

"That's it?" Gabriel said in disbelief. I held up a palm to keep him from interrupting further.

"I'm sorry for anything I've said; anything I've done that pissed you guys off. Especially you, Gabriel. It may seem like I don't care about this band at all, but that's the fucking opposite. Chasing Avenues... this band is my life. I'm sorry that I'm always so closed off; it's a force of habit. It's the way I am. But I just wanted you guys to know that this," I gestured to the five of us. "It isn't just your dream anymore." I thought of the deal with Mike, and how it didn't matter anymore whether he was going to bring me to England or not. I would go with my band. Until the end. "It's mine too."

There was silence as they took in my words; each looked lost in their own thoughts. The silence was broken only by the rustling of leaves underneath Drake's feet as he closed the gap between us and scooped me into a hug. I returned it quickly, locking my arms around his waist. I felt pressure on my left as another person wrapped their arms around Drake and I. Glancing over Drake's shoulder, I met Zac's warm smile and I smiled back. On my right, Xander joined the group hug with a bright grin. I waited for the last smack of pressure, waiting for the last member of Chasing Avenues to join in. He didn't.

I pulled myself away from the boys, glancing at where Gabriel stood by the bench, as far from us as possible. "Gabriel?" I asked hesitantly. He didn't reply, the wind rippling his hair in wild directions. Leaving the other members, I made my way to where he stood. Together, we stared at out at the lake, shimmering in the sunlight, much like Xander and I did moments ago.

"Why do you hate me so much?" I asked in a low voice, one that only he could hear while the rest of the band couldn't. Neither of us had turned to face the other, listening to the waves lap against the shore.

He paused before replying just as softly. "I don't hate you. I just.. tolerate your existance."

I scoffed, finally making him glance over. He cocked an eyebrow, bemused. "Something funny?"

"This." I replied, cracking a small smirk. "It's like we're both just treading on a minefield. Tolerating each other. Gabriel, I'm just trying to understand."

Gabe looked over my shoulder and I followed his gaze. The other three members of Chasing Avenues were a little distance away, probably wanting to leave us some space. Drake and Xander were in a heated battle between who could skip their rocks further while Zac leaned against a tree and calmly bested them both. I looked back at Gabriel, surprised to see a small smile on his lips. It faded when he caught me staring.

"Please," I pleaded. "Just tell me. We can never be a band if you don't trust me."

"I can say the same for you." Gabriel pointed out my hypocrisy, making me inwardly flinch. What surprised me was that he continued on, his voice less uninviting than before. "But you're right, Lacey. I think I'm just... worried, I guess."

"Worried? Why?"

"When I first met you, I was childish and told you that it was because you were a girl. That you would steal all the spotlight away from the band." He laughed lighly. "That was a lie by the way, I'm not a sexist pig." I snickered a bit too, recalling the memory. "It went much deeper than that. You carried an ambition far greater than what the guys and I originally strived for. It scared me because you were so devoted to your goal that you would do anything. Even if that meant joining a band you probably had no intention of ever joining."

His words hit me hard because they were practically spot on. I felt myself freeze, unable to maintain eye contact as he went on. "I was worried that you would just tear apart this band and I was worried that you would ruin our dream. See, Chasing Avenues began about seven years ago. I was practically still a kid. But Drake and Zac and I, we just wanted the music. The three of us were always the outcasts, you know. That's why we stuck together even to this day. I guess I was worried that when you and Xander joined, you were invading the thing I cherished the most. I was overprotective." He paused before quietly murmuring. "I lost my mother to cancer when I was a kid. I guess the trauma never left me and I was worried everyone I held close would eventually leave."

"I'm sorry." I said softly, not knowing what else to say.

"Don't be." Gabriel turned, giving a genuine smile. "It was a long time ago. She's in a better place." We were silent for a moment longer before I finally added, "My mother died too." Gabriel gave me a surprised glance, in shock about me actually opening up about myself. He gestured for me to go on.

"Depression," I said. "eventually got the best of her."

"I'm sorry." Gabriel said, repeating my words from before.

"Don't be. It was a long time ago." He and I chuckled at the repetition of conversation.

"I'm sorry, by the way, about that fight from before. I didn't mean to say those things to you. It was kind of uncalled for." Gabriel added, as if an afterthought.

"Oh, really?" He gave me a pointed look. I fought back a smirk. "I forgive you. I should apologize for what I said back there too."

"Apology accepted, I guess." We lapsed into another silence, though this one was comfortable.

"So in conclusion. I don't hate you. I never hated you. I was just overly cautious." Gabriel interjected my train of thought. His sentence seemed incomplete and it was proven when he added a hesitant, "But."

"But?"

"I know that you're hiding something." He gave me a look which warned me not to interrupt. "But I know whatever it must be, you're not ready to share it. It's not that hard to see; the guys and I have been worried. Especially Xander, you know? Don't think I didn't notice about the fading bruise on your jaw. Lacey, I just hope that one day you'll finally trust us like we trust you."

"You trust me?"

"I do now."

Without a warning, he extended his arms in my direction, looking sheepish about what he was asking to do. I smirked, and moved forward, giving him a hug that ended our discussion. Finally friends, finally a band.

There was a sudden pressure and suddenly the other three boys were piled on top of us, making the group fall to the ground. Everyone was laughing, laying on top of another as we looked up towards the grey sky, finally clearing and turning a bright shade of blue. I rested my head on Xander's chest, continuing to smile as if I couldn't stop.

"You should smile more often." Xander pointed out, his breath ticking my ear. I snorted in reply, too mesmerized by the blue of the sky and the green of the trees.

Almost as green as Blake's eyes.

The thought of the drummer made me think back to the night in his apartment and I felt myself both feeling flustered and guilty.

"So. Lacey. Xander." Gabriel's voice rumbled from somewhere to my left. "What exactly did you bring us here for?"

Xander nudged me, and we sat up straight, waiting for the rest of the band to do the same. My smile widened further and I shrugged teasingly. "Oh, you know. Nothing important. Except for the fact that we're still in the competition."

--

That had been yesterday, and now I found myself refocusing out of the flashback and back to where I was. I was situated at my bench in the park; it was what caused the recollection of previous events.

I twiddled with Rev in my hands, humming a nonexistant melody and trying to match it with a rhythm. It was a quiet sunday morning; when I awoke in my rickety bed, I realized that there had been no movement downstairs and that Marco still hadn't returned from his ventures. I hated days like that, when he didn't bother to come home for days at a time, making me both worry and be relieved at the same time.

So, I ventured back to the park, towards the secluded region no one dared to cross, and the old wooden bench with my initials scrawled into the wood. It had been a little over a half hour when my phone vibrated in my pocket.

I answered it on the second ring, blurting out the first name that came to my mind. "Blake?"

"Guess again?" Xander's voice on the other line sounded a little irritated with my greeting and I winced.

"Gabriel?"

"Come on, Carson, now you're just being an ass."

I tucked the phone in between my shoulder and ear as I bent forward to put Rev back in my boot. "Sorry." I apologized, though my amused tone said otherwise. "What's up?"

"Miss Delinquent got a letter." Xander replied matter of factly. I heard him shuffling across the floor, probably pacing around his bedroom.

"Explain?"

"Did you honestly forget about it?"He sounded exasperated, and the answer soon clicked in my mind. The signature, oh yeah.

"I'll be over in five. Your parents didn't see it, right?" I pushed myself off the bench, adjusting my jacket before heading toward's the park exit.

"Of course not. I smuggled it under my own letter."

I passed by the iron gates, sliding through and glancing both left and right, trying to remember Xander's address. When it came to me, I veered left and started for his humble abode. "Did you open the letter yet?"

"I was going to wait for you," He sang on the other end of the line. "But if you're insisting."

"You're an ass," I joked. "Just wait like three more minutes, I'm on your street." The walk from the park to Xander's home was relatively short, since he was practically in the park's backyard. It only took another round around the block for me to spot his ivory colored home.

It was two stories high, average in its all its glory. Morning glories snaked up the corners of the ivory walls, and the walkway to the front door was decorated with an abundance of flowers courtesy of Mrs. Corradino. A garden sat in front of the house, and gnomes littered the lawn. It looked so average, so quaint.

I thought of my own home and suppressed a shudder.

"Should I sneak in or can I waltz through the front door?" I spoke into the phone, still held up against my ear.

The dead line came to life as Xander snorted on the other line. "Be civil for once, Lace. Don't think I forgot about the last time you snuck through my window."

"With the frog?" I recalled, remembering the event clearly. It brought a small smile to my lips until an image of Carter sprang with the memory. Shaking my head, I didn't catch Xander's sarcastic reply.

"Rapunzel, I'm at your door. Let down your chest hair."

"Carson-" He groaned, but I didn't hear the end of his sentence as I ended the conversation. Skipping up the steps leading to the red door, I reached out and pressed the buzzer, hearing the doorbell echo through the house.

Moments after, Xander's face shone in the glass panel to the side. He gave me the finger before opening the door and widening it to let me in. I gave him a sarcastic curtsy before shrugging my boots off and entering his home.

It smelled like fresh cookies and the slight waft of vanilla from the candles scattered around the house. I could pick out the kitchen and living room right past the corridor, and Mrs. Corradino at the counter. She gave me a little wave with a hint of a knowing smile; I returned the smile halfheartedly before Xander tugged on my hand.

"Mom, we'll be in my room." He announced.

"Okay, honey." His mother replied, that knowing smile still on her lips.

As Xander and I headed up the stairs, I whispered fiercely. "What was that all about? She kept grinning at me like an insane person." Xander shrugged and said he had no idea, but the pink tint in his ears told me otherwise.

The upstairs were dimly lit, and five doors lay opposite one another in a line descending down the hallway. Unsure which one was Xander's, I put my hand on the knob on the first door to the left. In an instant, I was pushed aside rather roughly as Xander covered the door with his body, a frenzied expression on his face.

"Sheesh, if that's the room where you keep your porn, I totally unders-"

"Don't go in here." Xander ordered, his tone rough. "Ever." It shocked me that he could have this side of him, especially when all he was was a gigantic goofball with good hair. From the confused look he was recieving from me, Xander added quietly, "It's my sister's room."

Still not understanding, I raised a quizzical eyebrow before dusting myself off and stretching. "So which one's your bedroom then?" It only took that one question, a sudden switch in topic, and Xander was relaxed again, the tension in the hallway vanishing almost completely.

"Third door on the right." He said, peeling himself off the door and leading me away and towards his room. I couldn't help but glance back at his sister's room. I didn't even know Xander had a sister.

Opening the door to his room, Xander gestured for me to go first. "Ladies first." I didn't step in, making him raise an eyebrow. "What?"

"Oh, I'm just being chivalrous. After you, miss." I repeated his same gesture, to which he rolled his eyes and pushed me in gently. I let him, finding that now it was easier to let people touch me and not flinch back on instinct.

Already on his bed were two pristinely white envelopes, sitting side by side as they awaited to be opened. He took a spot on his bed by his letter and I followed, taking one of his pillows and hugging it as I scooped up my own envelope.

"Lacey Corradino." I read aloud, amused. "That makes it sound more like we're married rather than siblings, don't you think?"

"Uhm, yeah." Xander murmured, not meeting my gaze as he continued staring at his envelope.

It had always been at the back of my mind that one day Xander and I might get in trouble for the signature forging and lying about my identity. It just floated to the least of my problems when Mike and Chasing Avenues took up the upper slots in the train of worry. "Rip them open in three?" I asked.

Xander nodded, beginning the countdown. "Three, two, one."

Together, we tore into our mail, the crinkling of ripped paper the only sound in the room. I felt the smoothness of another paper, the actual letter. I pulled it out at the same time Xander did the same. We cast a look at each other before I glanced back down at my letter and began to read:

Hello Miss Lacey Corradino,

We write to you and your band for a series of reasons. To start matters off, we would like to apologize in our sincerity about what had happened to our database and the results from the National Battle of the Bands Round Two. We are taking precautions not to have this happen again, and our advertising executive releases his sincere apologies as well.

We cannot wait for you to continue your journey in our competition as you rightfully deserve to continue. The next part of this letter has to do with information about Round Three. We wish to tell you there is a mandatory meeting which contains all the information needed about the round. It will be located in Chicago, Illinois.

"Chicago?" Xander exclaimed, his eyes wide. I felt as if I was reacting the same way.

Inside the envelope, there should be a ticket and more information about the city, where to meet, and times to report. We cannot wait to see you all there. Thank you and have a great day.

Sincerely,
Executive Board of Infinite Records

"A ticket." I whispered, hand flying to the envelope and looking inside. Sure enough, I pulled out a ticket to Chicago. My hands skimmed the surface, in too much shock to think of anything else. I would be leaving. I would finally be leaving.

"Lacey."

"Huh?" I glanced up, confused.

"Your phone's ringing." Xander laughed. Finally tuning in to the real world, my phone indeed was ringing. Shaking my head out of the daze, I answered my phone sluggishly, still looking at the ticket.

"Yo?" I asked, not paying attention.

"Lacey!" Drake's voice chirped from the other line. In the background I heard Zac and Gabriel cheering, making so much noise I was having trouble hearing Drake. "Lacey!"

"Drake?"

"We're going to fucking Chicago!"

And that's when the reality of it all hit me. Or it could've just been Xander knocking the sense back into me with a pillow.


—

Happy New Year everyone! I hope 2014 kicks some ass because I'm sure as hell done with 2013. I rushed to get this chapter in so I could get in on January 1st and I freaking did. Yeah buddy. Anywho, I know you all have a fantastic year ahead of you so go out and do great things. c:

LOOK LOOK LOOK. Recycletherainbow123 made My Little Decoy a trailer. :D Check it out.

Also, for those of you who want to join the writing one shot contest, entries are due on January 30. I've already got two entries in, guys! We still need some more. ;)

Love you all! Comment, vote, promote. (Please, I really love reading comments.)

Stay lovely,
Isabelle