My Little Decoy

♪ I Still Feel the Same ♪ {20}

"I've hoped for change,
and it gets better everyday
I've hoped for change,
but still I feel the same." -Whoa

Humming Riot under my breath, I sat cross-legged on the velvet chair. Rev was in my hands and I tapped the opening for our audition piece against the marble floor. Despite the endless stream of thoughts pouring into my brain, I realized that there was a slight chance that- get this, Mike could've forgotten about the forms.

How could I tell? Well, currently me, along with the rest of the band, were situated on the cushioned seats of Infinite's auditorium. Along with several hundred other bands. And three judges. And that could only mean one thing: we were about to audition, and no- I wasn't kicked out of the contest.

Yet. The little pessimistic voice sang out in my mind.

My hands stopped in mid-air and I slowly brought my sticks to my lap. "How many more groups until it's us?"

"I think about six?" Drake answered, the ending of his sentence coming out as a question rather than a confident reply.

Hearing groans from my left, I elbowed Xander in the gut. "Shut up, we just got here thirty minutes ago."

"But I'm bored. And anxious. Not a good combination, Carson!" Xander whined, elbowing me back.

"Ssshhh!" I quickly uttered, slapping a hand over his mouth. I glanced to my right, and luckily Chasing Avenues didn't seem to hear his comment. Against my will, I even scanned the audience for Mike. Luckily, he was all the way towards the front by stage-right. On the opposite wing, I saw a familiar man standing with a bored expression on his face. Tom.

"Wah?" Xander asked, his voice muffled by my palm. I cringed in disgust as I felt his exhalation on my hand. Releasing his face and wiping my hand on my jeans, I shot him a look, "Not Carson, remember? We're siblings now."

"Oh, yeah." Xander replied unenthusiastically, sinking a bit in his chair.

Giving him a nod, I grabbed Rev again and started drumming again, feeling content. The bands that we had seen earlier were pretty decent, although I thought we had a pretty good chance at getting in. Confidence was key for this round.

"Thank you Broad Daylight," One of the male judges spoke into his given microphone. There were three judges in total: two male and one female. The man who had spoken was named Christopher Jenkins, and he was a frail old man with pale gray hair and a bushy mustache to match. Next to him was another man, much younger, whose name-tag read Stephen Weiss. He had a clean-shaven face with shaggy blonde hair and brown eyes. The woman at the end was about the same age as Stephen and apparently her name was Cindy Spidoni. She was a cheerful bubble of enthusiasm with light brown hair and blue eyes. So far, she was the most annoying of the judges, but the most lenient.

As the judges gave Broad Daylight their critism, I zoned in on Mike's expression. I was basically doing this the entire time since we got here. He kept watching the performing bands with a thoughtful expression, and I remembered him telling us he was also a talent scout. But despite his wondering expressions, I found no signs of suspicion or confusion like before. Maybe he really did forget?

Oh, well. My good luck must be returning to me. Hooray.

"Next up is," Cindy chirped, clapping her hands together and causing a roar of feedback into her microphone. The remaining bands still in their seats looked winced tiredly; they must have been waiting for a while. And judging by the faces on the judges faces, they were exhausted too. After all, hundreds of bands were auditioning and this was only in Washington State. They still have twenty-something more stops to go.

"Within These Cages!" Cindy finished, and I immediately perked up, almost dropping Rev on the ground. Straightening my back, I kept a stoic gaze as I watched Carter stride up the steps to the stage confidently, the rest of the band trailing behind her with more hesitant expressions. Unlike their leader, they seemed nervous and frightened.

"What song will you be playing for us, guys?" Cindy grinned, placing her elbows on the table and leaning forward with fake interest.

"Stutter by Marianas Trench." Carter replied easily into the mike then glanced behind her to see if everyone else was ready. Aislinn gave her guitarist a curt bob of the head.

"Sounds fantastic!" cried out Cindy, motioning for Within These Cages to continue.

Offering a small smile, Carter started clapping a beat that I instantly itched to copy along. Couldn't help it. My drummer instincts were kicking in. As the opening beat started with just her, eventually coming in at different times to create an echoing effect, the rest of the band clapped along with her. I saw Sebastian even grin to the audience and hold his hands over his head as an encouragement for the audience to clap along to.

The crowd did as asked, though some were reluctant because WTC were their competitors.

"I know, I never make this easy." Carter sang, her voice coming husky to create a nice jazzy undertone. "It's easier to disappear."

The rest of the band followed with their respective harmonies, and I was amazed at how well their pitch was. My ears weren't bleeding yet, and a moment of Queen deja-vu blasted me in the music feels. I guess I was a little impressed.

As the song ventured on, I couldn't help but watch their synced movements and how much the band members depended on one another with an appreciative expression. Not many bands could portray that sense of togetherness, but I'm pretty sure Chasing Avenues were just as good as them.

They had to be.

Eventually, it ended with a literal bang as their drummer (who was adequate, I decided. But not fantastic) accidentally hit the cymbal too hard, thus resulting in an unsteady ending. I saw Carter cringed slightly, but she covered it up with a wide smile at the judges. A wave of sick satisfaction washed over me.

The audience erupted in polite applause and so did the judges. Well, except for Cindy who clapped as if her life depended on it. Ten bucks it did.

"Thank you very much for that wonderful performance, Within These Cages. Splendid, splendid!" Cindy beamed, and I bet her hands were going red from clapping so hard. Wearing identical smiles on their faces, WTC bowed and headed stage-left, passing by Mike as they. His face curved into a smile that matched their own, and I knew he was probably considering them as an option. Not good. If they got scouted, they would probably have a better chance in the competition.

"Our next band is..." Christopher said after the judges gave Carter's band their opinions. "Falling For Bermuda. Welcome to Infinite Records!"

After five more bands exactly, Stephen announced into his microphone. "Chasing Avenues, please come to the stage. You are our second to last performer. Chasing Avenues, please come to the stage." I could almost hear the relief in his voice as he announced that today's auditions were nearly over.

Zac shot Drake a face and Drake rolled his eyes. The two led the way to the stage, Gabriel and Xander taking up the center and me taking up the rear. If I wasn't freaking out before, I was now. With my drumsticks firmly in hand, I let the others climb onto the stage and ready their instruments before heading to the looming drum set at the back of the stage. Thankful to be away from the crowd's (more specifically, Carter's) scrutinizing gaze, I twirled a stick and waited for Gabriel's cue.

The jerk that I knew vanished, and Gabriel was replaced with a charming charismatic character with the brightest smile that could cure freaking cancer. I never knew he could smile that wide. Bonus points for that discovery.

"Hey, we're Chasing Avenues. And the song we'll be performing is called Riot by Three Days Grace." He spoke confidently, matching Carter's earlier presence.

Readying myself, I hovered my sticks over the snares and when Gabriel turned to glance at me, I instantly dove in, forcing myself to be perfect. This was it. My third chance. The magic number three I better not screw it up like the last two times. My movements stiff and pressured, I zoned in to the others, waiting for that spark to reignite like it did at practice.

It never happened.

Starting to panic, I exchanged a glance with Xander, who seemed to be having no difficulty keeping up the tempo and pace with the others. Zac and Drake were in sync as always, and Gabriel's voice was flawless. So what was wrong?

As my brain started thinking more and more, my movements became even less graceful as I merely tapped the rhythm programmed into my arms. I was the robot; my patterns were my algorithm. And that's when it hit me. I never thought while I played. The music did all the thinking for me.

Forcing myself to forget everything: the fact that there were hundreds of watchers and competitors out in the seats, or that the judges may not pass us on to the next round, or that Mike will spill my secret and get me kicked out. I just remembered that music was supposed to be from the heart, not the mind.

And with that, I felt myself relax. The sound of worry faded out, and soon it was replaced by that passion I was hoping for. Feeling myself get lost in the song, I sang my back-up parts and drummed effortlessly, even twirling my drum stick every now and then to add some flavor.

"A riot!" Gabriel's rough voice ended the song, and I hit the final hi-hat perfectly, instantly muting it to let the overtone drown out Drake's final chord. Panting a little, I wiped the sweat off my brow and sat there, listening to the sounds of applause and Cindy's unbridled cheers.

Satisfaction greater than seeing Carter's defense crumble for a millisecond overcame me, and I thought to myself, This is where I want to be. This is what I want to do. Music, an audience, the passion... But it wasn't. Because I wasn't in this for the band, or for the music. As selfish as it seemed, I was only in this for me. And it was wrong; oh so very wrong.

Then why did it feel so right?

--

Wow.... I have not updated this in a while. I had difficulty writing this chapter. Particularly because I hit the dreaded author's block. Though, reading all your comments made me write more and eventually I finally finished. So this is to all of you who kept reading and waiting and didn't abandon my story yet.

Dedication: MissDee0207 for making me these lovely character banners. Yep, these are the celebrities starring as my three main characters. Like their faces?

Also, please check out my new story, Shutter! I'd love to hear what you all think! It's in the comments below and external link. Thanks so much for all your support! And speaking of support, MLD hit over 11,000 reads! Can you believe it?! Haha, neither can I. :)

Comment, vote, promote.

—Isabelle.