My Little Decoy

♪ Before it Gets Any Better ♪ {31}

"And the worst part is
Before it gets any better
we're headed for a cliff.
And in the free fall I will realize
I'm better off when I hit the bottom." -Turn It Off



For once in as many years as I can remember, I had a good night's sleep. My dreams were pure and blissful, thoughts silent and unaware as they cascaded past the relaxation of my mind. It felt like a shame when my eyes began to flutter open and I found myself staring blankly at the yellow-tinted walls over my head.

It took approximately five minutes to gather myself and remember that I was in Blake's apartment. Around me were eggshell walls with splashes of brown, littered with posters and photographs filled with sentimental value. A dresser was opposite me, its brown wood tarnished and worn as drawers remained open, revealing their contents.

There was a mahagony desk to my right, and beside it was a ratty practice pad that had holes in its surface from many years of use. I glanced down, and found myself in his bed, warm and inviting. Yet, Blake was nowhere to be found.

I flipped the covers over, frantically glancing down in hopes that I was still fully clothed and was relieved to see I was still in yesterday's clothing. As I abandoned the warmth of the bedsheets, I placed the heels of my feet on the floor cautiously and hoisted myself up.

Exiting his room, I walked the remainder of the corridor to where the kitchen was located, and then walked further down to the living room. And there, snoring softly with his bandanged arm draped over his stomach, was Blake sleeping peacefully on the couch. The sofa was far too small for his large frame; his legs hung over the arm of the chair. His bangs were messy in his face and I glided forward, brushing back the locks softly to not disturb him.

Blake had a serene smile on his face, just a small crescent that hinted at his peaceful illusions. I felt like smiling too, watching him in this calm state. He really was a gentleman, letting me sleep in the bed while he took the couch, rather than using last night to his advantage.

It was sweet, and something I really wasn't used to.

Memories of last night were a blur; Tom and Blake's argument, our injuries, the kiss... Feeling heat rise to my cheeks, I shook my head and abandoned the thoughts before I could make myself feel even worse.

Glancing over at the old wall clock that hung over the mini-fridge, I almost had a heart attack when I realized that a) it was still a school day and b) I was going to be late.

My eyes swung back to where Blake lay before jumping into motion and pacing quickly to the kitchen. I dug around for a pen and paper, quickly scribbling him a goodbye note and leaving it on the counter.

I headed back towards the front door, casting one last look at Blake before opening the door quietly and slipping past into the real world.

As I made my way down the cracked pavements, hands shoved deep in my pockets, I pursed my lips. Blake's neighborhood was actually relatively close to where school was and I recognized the roads almost instantly. Getting to school wouldn't be the problem, but facing Gabriel and the rest of the band might be. The contours of the phone in my pocket brushed against my hand so I took it out and saw that I had a new message.

Mike.

My frown deepening, I pressed buttons on the device until it came to his message, a simple question: Did you learn anything else?

Shooting him a quick reply to meet me at the usual café, I almost shoved the phone away before realizing that there was still another unread message. My eyes skimmed the contents, smiling slightly.

Hope you're okay. -X

I put the phone back in my pocket and walked the remaining blocks to where my school was located.



Once inside, it was just a huge wave of students filing through the hallways in a disorderly fashion, not wanting to be late to their classes. Being one of them, I waded through the crowd to get to my locker, snorting in surprise when the familiar group was already crowded there.

"Lacey!" Zac called with a grin, waving at me. I sent him a salute back, making my way to where they stood and opened my locker.

"Last I saw was Blake following you after you left. Was it a good lay?" Drake waggled his eyebrows and I slapped the back of his head.

"Fuck off, Drake." I laughed and shoved a few textbooks into my backpack, closing the door. Despite knowing he was joking, a small blush creeped onto my cheeks. I quickly ducked my head down and stared at my combat boots.

Drake smirked but swung an arm around my shoulder, not wanting to change the subject. "You're still in the same clothes from yesterday though, so I just assumed." I glanced down at my attire and sure enough, I still had on the white dress shirt and jeans, which made me wince at how much more formal it made me.

"I wasn't feeling well after the performance," I explained as casually as I could. "So I just went straight home and fell asleep without telling you guys. I'm sorry. I guess I didn't realize I didn't change."

"So that's what happened." Zac mused, accepting the lie. "Well it's okay. You're feeling better now, right?"

I bit my lip and stared at the four boys in front of me: Zac had the usual smile, Drake leaned casually against my locker, Gabriel scowling as always, and Xander winking as soon as I made eye contact. A small smile formed on my lips.

"Yeah," I shrugged. "Better already."

"Cool, cool." said Gabriel, waving away concern over me. "Anyways, there's practice today after school at Drake's house like always. You game?" I nodded at his clipped tone and he adjusted the backpack's weight on his shoulder. "See you guys then. I've got to hand in some last minute extra credit before we start touring." And with that, our vocalist spun on his heels and veered off in the opposite direction.

Xander rolled his eyes, shoving Drake away from my locker and taking his place, so that he was right in front of me. "He's thoroughly convinced we're going into the third round. You really can't blame him though, we kicked ass out there."

I thought of my little fumble and inwardly winced. "Yeah, we were perfect."

"Anyway, I have to get to Environmental Science. See you in Chem, Lacey." Xander flashed a brilliant smile before ruffling my hair and walking away towards his class. Zac and Drake bid their farewells before heading off to gym and soon I was alone again. Missing the band already, I reached up to fix my hair, swung my backpack over my shoulders, and waded through the class to get to Calculus.

I sensed her approaching before I actually saw her. It was that knowing spark that tingled my body as I pushed my way through the crowd. And soon she was within my sights. Carter leaned against Olivia's locker, her expression sour as Olivia rolled her eyes at her friend. As if sensing my approach too, her eyes glanced up, growing darker.

"Well, well." Carter grinned, a hint of smugness in her toothy smirk. Her red tendrils were messy as always, bunching up around her shoulders as she crossed her arms over her chest. Wearing a baggy Ramones shirt, jeans, and Osiris sneakers, she jutted her chin up in my direction as I passed. To her left, Olivia slammed her locker shut in shock as I gave them both cold looks. She was dressed in a light sundress, as yellow as a sunflower itself.

I continued walking, but I couldn't seem to shake her off. I felt a breeze as Carter reappeared on my side, matching my stride with every step. Olivia soon flanked my right, and I was trapped between my old friends. Muttering a curse under my breath, I didn't falter my step and merely growled out, "What do you want, Carter?"

"I thought it would be courteous of me to wish my opponent good luck." She replied breezily, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. Scowling, I roughly shoved her aside and hurried my pace. Carter caught up easily, the smugness never leaving her lips. "You know," said she, turning around so that she was walking backwards and facing me. Students milled around her with annoyed expressions but she didn't seem to care. "I actually thought you guys were going to be some tough competition. I guess I thought wrong."

Skidding to a stop, I balled my hands into fists as Carter paused right in front of me. Standing face to face, our gazes locked in a showdown. Olivia floated to where Carter stood, murmuring for her to stop. "If you're just going to provoke me, you might as well leave before I break your jaw." I hissed through gritted teeth.

"All I'm trying to say is," Carter shrugged. "tough luck, Lacey. Not everyone can get what they want." The devil spun on her heels and continued down the hallway. "Come on, Liv." Olivia hesitated, looking over at me. Her blue eyes shone with unsaid words and she opened her mouth to say something, but thought better of it. With a sad smile, she waved slightly before tagging after Carter.

Tough luck, Lacey. What the hell did she mean?

School passed by fairly quickly; needless to say, everything was a blur because I was too engrossed in my thoughts to bother learning anything. I drummed on the desk with my pencil, thinking back to the confrontation with Carter. She seemed far too happy to see me, meaning something was horribly, horribly wrong with the competition. I began to think of the worst possible conclusions, the thought at the top of my mind was that we hadn't made it to Round Three.

And judging by Carter's reaction, something told me that seemed to be just the case.



The bell at the end of the day rang, making me jump in my seat. Glancing around, I realized my teacher was giving me a disapproving glance as the rest of the class proved to be nowhere. Scowling, I picked up my backpack and sauntered out the door, and into the sea of students. By then, I was feeling jittery and nervous. Even as I made my way down the black asphalt of the parking lot to get to Zac's truck, I couldn't stop thinking about Carter's words.

"Something bugging you?" asked Xander as I reached the old Chevy. He looked concerned like always so I just waved him away.

"Just thinking. Let's go practice." I replied, deciding to shrug off Carter's words. She was just trying to psyche me up. I wouldn't let her.

The five of us climbed into the truck, with Zac in the driver's seat. He was already fiddling with the radio, changing it to a station we would all enjoy. Drake had managed to score shotgun and was smugly rubbing it in our faces. Gabriel threw his jacket at the guitarist.

Once we were all settled in and Zac drove off towards Drake's house, Gabriel brought up the unspoken conflict in everyone's minds. "Do you think the results are up on the website yet?"

There was a pregant pause before Zac replied, glancing at the backseat through the rearview mirror. "I guess we'll have to find out after practice."

"Are we really going to do this everytime we wait for results?" Drake scoffed, hoisting his legs onto the dashboard and giving us amused looks. "Just keep calm and don't worry your tits off. Whatever happens will happen."

I wasn't as easy feeling as Drake. Turning my head to stare out the window, I kept silent as the four of them rattled on about the competition, until we pulled into the driveway of Drake's house.

The car doors slammed open as we each climbed out. The car groaned under the weight. Feeling a light breeze, I shivered and Xander wrapped an arm around me, to which I gave a small smile. Together, we trailed after the trio as Drake unlocked the door.

"I'll get the drinks." Zac vouched, splitting at the intersection between the basement door and hallway. "What will it be?"

"Lemonade." The band chorused at the same time. I smirked, at Zac's dumbfounded expression before Gabriel cleared up the confusion.

"We all know you're going to get a pitcher of that stuff, so why not just share?" Zac shot him an unamused look before heading off towards the kitchen.

In the meantime, I slunk away from Xander's hold, being the first to head into the spacious studio hidden below. I was itching to take Rev out and take out my frustration on Drake's Spaun, not wanting to let Carter get into my head.

Now that the concussion had almost disappeared, I was able to walk steadily and not be in pain. Thoughts of Blake swam in my mind and I shooed them away as I took a seat on the leather revolving chair behind the looming drumset. Reaching down, I took my drum sticks out of my boot and positioned myself comfortably behind the drums.

Peering over the cymbals, I saw Xander and Drake picking up their guitars from the silver rack opposite the violet walls, and Gabriel was attempting to tune Zac's bass while the latter retrieved drinks.

Wincing at how out of key all the instruments were, I slid off the chair and towards the guys, slipping into the usual routine. Drake didn't even complain, learning fairly quickly that I was always right. Instead, he just held out the neck of the guitar in my direction which I took as I passed by. Taking a seat on the floor, I listened carefully and tuned the instrument to perfection before doing the same for Xander's guitar and Zac's bass.

Zac came down the stairs, as I finished tuning his bass, juggling five fragile looking glasses in one hand and a pitcher of iced lemonade in the other. He put everything down on the glass table before picking up a glass and pouring himself a drink.

"So say we do make it," Zac started.

"We do make it." Drake corrected, sounding confident.

"What song should we play next?" The bassist finished without skipping a beat.

I set down the bass carefully in the linoleum carpet before drawing my knees up to my chin. "Something edgier, I guess. We want to make an impact on the first spot of the tour."

"Right," Xander agreed. He walked over to where the lemonade was perched, grabbing himself a drink beside Zac. "How about something with a little screamo? I can scream a little."

"Nice to know." Drake mused, cocking an eyebrow at Xander. "But I think that would be too much. Gabe, you're the vocalist. What would you be comfortable doing?"

"I was thinking something along the lines of Rise Against or Breaking Benjamin."

"Sounds good."

"Hey, wait." I piped up, as four pairs of eyes landed on me. "If it's a tour, then we're definitely going to be playing more than one song. We need a full setlist. And doing just covers isn't going to get us anywhere."

Zac took a sip of his lemonade, nodding in my direction. The action made a little bit of juice dribble from his chin and he rubbed at it with his sleeve. "You have a point, Lacey. We actually had some originals in the making before you two joined. They don't sound very good though."

I smirked, the expression falling on my face easily. I snapped towards his direction and said, "Bingo. That's how we make an impact. We'll be the first to sing an original song. A song by Chasing Avenues and Chasing Avenues only. I bet the other bands wouldn't have thought of that."

Drake took a seat behind me, setting his guitar across his lap, the neck touching my knee. "I like the idea, Lace, but like Zac said: our originals aren't very good."

"Well, show us what you've got so far," I gestured to myself and Xander, who nodded eagerly. "We'll critique and make changes."

"It's your funeral." Drake grinned before getting up and gesturing for Gabriel to get behind the drum set. The three of them went into their respective spots, though instead of myself behind the drums, it was Gabriel.

He picked up a pair of drum sticks by the set, and began to click off for the introduction. When the band came in, following Gabriel's lead, I listened closely, tearing apart the song in my mind. I wanted to know how it clicked, how it worked, how it felt.

The technical aspects weren't as bad as I thought; though the singularity of one guitarist made the song sound desolate and bare, and the bassline clashed with the rhythm of the drum beat, it actually sounded decent.

Gabriel opened his mouth to sing, and I noted how his voice was drowned out by the drums. That had been the problem I had fixed when I joined the band. I half-smiled, remembering the event all too clearly. To think, a month or so had already passed since then. It was wild.

"City silhouettes on the bright street corner, his eyes alight with the feeling of wonder. He looks around, as his world comes crumblin' down." Gabriel sang, and I was once again struck by how unique and great his voice was. The lyrics were as meaningful as the emotion he poured into the song, the melody just as catchy.

"And as he breathes, the air condenses around him. His heart's in pain, as walks the path right ahead of him. He sings a song, to hide the pain that he's really in. Oh, oh."

His voice faltered, and as the refrain started up, Gabriel didn't come in with the lyrics. It made the rest of the band stop playing, feedback rushing through the sound system and into our ears.

"What the hell, man?" Drake cried out, covering his ears in pain. As the feedback settled down, Gabriel gave a shrug and replied, "I don't remember the refrain. And if I can't remember it, then it wasn't that good to begin with."

"I thought it was great so far." Xander interjected truthfully, his eyes alight with the music. "Drake, I thought up a rhythm section for when you went into those leads, and a few harmonies-"

As he prattled on about guitar mechanisms, I replayed the lyrics in my mind, over and over until a melody began to form in my brain. Without thinking, I found myself singing, my naturally hoarse voice effectively shutting Xander up as I improvised on the lyrics for the chorus. "We sing the song of our generation, oh. The melody comes crashing in like a gunfire, aah. Change your opinions. Gather up your facts. Our generation doesn't know us like that."

There was silence after I finished; I found myself flushing and nonchalantly coughing out, "Uhm, sorry."

"Sorry?" Drake yelled incredulously. I winced at his loud voice. "Don't be. That sounded way better than what we ever did."

"Really?"

"Hell, yeah." Zac grinned and held up his bass. "Quick, sing it one more time. Let me try and come up with a bass line for that."

"Wait, Xander." Drake turned to the other guitarist. "Play that riff you were telling me about when Lacey sings it again."

I made my way over to the Spaun and situated myself behind the set, pulling out Rev and prepping the drum counter melody I had playing while I improvised the refrain. Only Gabriel looked sullen, the spotlight taken from him.

I called out to him, "Hey, Gabriel? Do you want to try it? This is your song anyway."

He cast a look in my direction, confused by how genial I was acting. A small smile played on contours of his lips. "Sure, why not."

And as I counted us in, we came in with a wave of sound, with a song that screamed about us.



Rehearsal ended later than usual, since we were so wrapped up in the new song and figuring out how to perfect it. Since Xander joined in, the verses sounded fuller and cleaner, not to mention his harmonies brought a unique texture to the sound. I kept up the steady backbone, improvising every now and then with each replay of the song. And Gabriel focused much more on his singing rather than multitasking with the drums. He and I conversed a lot about the lyrics, which I liked to think brought us closer together. He actually gave me a smile at the end of rehearsal.

Maybe he wouldn't hate me as much anymore. We actually made a pretty great song-writing pair.

As the band began to put away their instruments, I took the courtesy of opening Drake's laptop and opening up the Battle of the Bands website. One of the blogs written were about the remaining contestants, with a notice that said: only the top twenty bands will continue on.

The fact made me swallow nervously.

"Do you have it up?" Gabriel asked, taking a seat on the arm of the sofa I was currently sitting in.

"Yeah." The other members took their spots around me, each of us shaking with anticipation.

I clicked on the list.

At number one was Tilted Reality, though none of us found that a shocker. Instead, they read through the names with bated breath. My heart seized with each name listed; with each name that wasn't Chasing Avenues. Carter's band, Within These Cages, was listed at fourteen, making me narrow my eyes. My finger continued scrolling down the list, until it came to the very end.

Number twenty: He Laughed Trannily

My heart dropped in my chest. "We didn't make it." I whispered. I met Xander's gaze, mirroring my horrored one exactly. "We didn't make it."

"Check again." Gabriel demanded, grabbing the laptop roughly from my lap. I was in too much shock to make a remark, as his eyes skimmed through the list once more, only to find our names still not listed.

"Holy shit." Drake hissed out, grabbing his hair and taking several deep breaths. "Holy shit, holy shit."

There was stunned silence as we digested this information. Chasing Avenues didn't make it. It was all over.

I wanted to scream, to cry and thrash around, to throw a tantrum, anything but feel as numb as I did. Everything I had worked for went down the drain in a flash, taking my dreams with them.

Now all I had left to rely on was Mike. That thought alone didn't fill me with any hope.

Gabriel wouldn't stop looking at the last band listed, his hands balled into fists. Without warning, he stood abruptly which made the laptop fall and crash to the ground. Drake didn't even complain.

"You," Gabriel growled out, pointing a shaky finger in my direction. I narrowed my eyes, meeting his gaze levelly. "This is all your fault."

"No one's to blame, Gabe." Zac pleaded, ever the pacifist. Gabriel ignored him and continued taking an angry advance towards my direction.

"Care to share why this is all my fault?" I spat at the vocalist.

"You're the one who came late, which is why we couldn't practice beforehand. You know what, actually? You always come late to practices with some stupid excuse, expecting us to believe your bullshit. And don't think I didn't catch you during the performance," Gabriel sneered, drawing closer to my face until he was inches away. "You messed up."

I froze; that was the last thing I expected to hear from him. Gabriel had caught that? He knew? "So for once, Little Miss Prodigy isn't as perfect as she seems, and because she didn't even try, we're stuck in this situation."

"Didn't even try?" I bristled, standing from my spot so that I could fully meet Gabriel's accusations. "I always try my hardest. You don't even know how much I want this!"

"Want what, Lacey? The band or the reward?" Gabriel yelled. I didn't even think, I clenched my hand into a fist and swung as hard as I could. I hit him right in the jaw, feeling the bones in my knuckle and his cheek crack. The impact sent Gabriel reeling, falling backwards over the table and knocking over the pitcher of lemonade. The yellow liquid crashed and stained the pristine carpet and the glass made a sickening crash as it broke into a thousand pieces.

Whatever truce Gabriel and I had during the practice soon was gone.

The vocalist didn't even groan, holding a hand gingerly to his bruising jaw, narrowing his eyes at me. Zac and Xander each grabbed a hold of my arms, pulling me back so I wouldn't take a another strike while Drake ran over to help Gabriel up.

"Don't think we don't notice, Lacey," Gabriel spat accusingly in my direction, Drake pulling him to his feet. "when you pull your innocent act on and fake it. We know you're hiding something. We know that whatever it is, it's your top priority instead of us. But we keep our mouths shut, because none of us are the bigger picture here, Lacey! We're all one team, and if you can't trust us, why are you even in this band?"

My heartbeat was rapidly pounding against my chest and I glared down the leader of my band, ripping my arms away from Zac and Xander's grasp. Adrenaline coursed through my veins as I poked Gabriel hard in the chest. "I'm in this band because I have a dream, okay? Not just you, Gabriel. I'm in this band because music has always been my escape, even before I met you all. You think I'm perfect? That I'm innocent? It's not my fault my fucking step-father always-" Quickly, I slammed my mouth shut, feeling the impact jar my teeth painfully.

I widened my eyes in horror. I almost said it. I almost admitted it. It's not my fault my fucking step-father beats me to a bloody pulp everyday, because like me, he's stuck in the fucking past. I clamped a hand over my mouth, taking a few steps back from Gabriel, who was staring at me in shock, all signs of anger replaced by confusion.

I almost said it. I almost admitted it.

Everyone's gazes were locked on me, making me feel anxious and scared: Drake looked taken aback, Xander even more concerned than usual, Zac with a soft look, and Gabriel with shock.

"Lacey," Zac said gently, reaching out to grab my arm. I flinched as he made contact, instinctively pulling down the sleeves of my jacket to cover the healing bruises. "Lacey, remember the pact."

"To hell with the fucking pact." I growled, making Zac deflate. The sadness in his eyes almost made me take back my words, but I was unable to. "Family doesn't mean this." I gestured to me and Gabriel, to something far more deeper than just this squabble. They were losing faith in me. The faith I tried so desperately to gain.

"How could I trust family when they're all I don't have left?" I whispered brokenly before grabbing Rev off the table and storming up the stairs. My name was being shouted down below but I just kept on my walking with my head held high, trying to suppress the tears.


My hand throbbed. The knuckles were turning an alarming shade of purple and blue, making me wince. I clutched it gingerly in one hand, sniffling against the cold weather.

I was still angry, though the intensity ebbed away after a little bit. It hurt; it hurt that they all noticed because I tried so hard to make it seem like everything was alright. I thought that if they didn't notice then they didn't care that much, and if they didn't care that much, they wouldn't give two shits that I'd just ditch them later.

But they noticed. And they care.

In my pocket, my phone buzzed but I didn't bother to check the caller ID. I couldn't care less at that point.

My entire body was numb; I couldn't feel physically or emotionally. I felt drained, empty. My feet dragged along the pavement as my body sliced through the pre-winter chill. The walk from Drake's rich and full neighborhood to my depressing, ragged one was long; it had already been a half hour and I had only just reached my apartment.

The cracked walls and mounds of mold cascading up the sides greeted me like an old friend. The worn sofa, damaged by the weather, sat nonchalantly out on the lawn as always. The only difference that caught my attention were the men in overalls currently carrying pieces of furniture from my house and into a truck. I sighed. This wasn't the first time; Marco had probably lost a bet.

I knew what was coming before I even stepped through the door.

Passing through the doorway, I heard Marco's shouts as he yelled at an Italian man in rich clothing, while the latter merely shrugged it off and told my step-father to pay off his debts and then he can have the furniture back. The man turned away, pushing past me roughly as I made my way in, and soon the truck from outside zoomed off into the daylight.

"I'm home." I said, throwing my backpack onto the floor where the sofa had been.

"It's about time." Marco hissed out, advancing in my direction.

He raised an arm to strike, but I was already too numb to feel the pain.


--

{warning: long author's note ahead}

This was one monster of a chapter. It kind of just poured out, haha. It still has to be edited too, so.

I just wanted to note that the song that Chasing Avenues sang is actually an original I'm working on called Generation. And look! MLD fanart by dreamdomains is on the side. Ain't it cute?

But moving on, I just wanted to point out that I posted on my message board that My Little Decoy is coming to an end really soon. There's only about ten or so more chapters left, guys! I just want to thank you all so, so, so much for all the support with this story, because if it wasn't for you faithful readers, MLD wouldn't have gotten this far. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I hope you enjoy the last chapters because it's going to be one hell of a ride.

Hope you liked this chapter! Comment. Vote. Share. Promote. x

Stay lovely,
Isabelle