strangers // jp [mphfpc]

march 10th, 2016

~ where's my love - syml ~

cold sheets, but where's my love?

i am searching high, i'm searching low 

in the night

does she know that we bleed the same? 

don't wanna cry but i break that way

jacob had woken up a while ago, but he hadn't gotten up from his bed or even moved an inch yet. his eyes were deeply looking at the ceiling of his room and his body was under his sheets. he couldn't move, he just couldn't.

emily was going away today.

she was the only thing on jacob's mind. how he would miss her, wouldn't be besides her and how she will maybe never know how jacob felt about her. truly felt. 

he needed to tell her somehow, soon. could he tell her today? how? when exactly? when she's boarding on the plane, shout his feelings out to her through a window? sounds extremely romantic, but also horribly cliche. 

when he meets her today? 'emily, i need to tell you something' 'yeah?' 'i-'

how do you tell your feelings to someone? do you say 'i like you'? that sounds not so much meaningful, though. i... admire you? nah, that's too creepy. i... love you! love, right.

that sounded very... adult-like to jacob, at least in his head. it would sound even more adult-like if he said them out loud, he thought. should he really say those words? to emily? today? what if it ruins his whole life? what if her reaction will not at all be as jacob would have ever imagined? what if-

jacob really wanted to tell emily, express how he felt about her. but could he ever find the right moment? maybe it wasn't now? and how could he tell her if her parents were on guard all the time around him and emily? they really needed to be gone. or jacob just needed to talk to emily alone. 

sigh.

jacob sat up in his bed and moved until he was sitting on the edge. he looked around his room - it was just as messy as his mind and himself at that moment. jacob looked down at his body and saw he wasn't in his pyjamas - he was even wearing his converse sneakers. 

what was i doing yesterday?

he thought for a few moments and recalled himself wandering around florida's palm forest on his bike. his clothes were a little dirty, one of his earphones falling out of his ear and his hair flowing in every direction possible, even in jacob's face. he was biking pretty fast last night, trying to get away from... what? 

right, his parents had asked him a lot of questions about emily going away, suggesting many things. but all jacob could do was deny because he knew there was nothing anyone could do or say to change emily's parents' minds. except maybe for her own little, defenceless self.