Finding You

chapter 38

I roll my bracelet around my wrist for the millionth time and stare at the ceiling. Zay has been watching me for the past ten minutes with a pained look on his face that probably reflects how I feel on the inside. He finally sits down on his bed next to me and sighs.

"Can we talk about this now? I know you want to say something, I can literally feel your anxiety."

I glance at him, and the words get stuck in my throat. He reaches out and touches my arm gently, sending thrills through my body and calming my heart. "It's okay," he reassures.

I blink. "No. No it's not okay Zay. And I'm not okay. Have you even thought about what you told me? You're leaving me. Leaving. I have one week left with you. I don't know if I'll be able to handle not seeing you, not talking to you, not being with you." The words come strolling out before I can process them.

Zay's face softens as he registers how badly I'm struggling, and he pulls me closer, taking me in his arms. I bury my head in his shoulder and he smoothes my hair. "It will be okay. I'll be back before you know it. It's not for forever."

I hug him tighter, enjoying his warmth, and an idea forms in my head. "Could I... come with you?"

He is quiet few seconds and then says, "No."

I immediately argue. "Why not? Won't I be safer with you?"

Zay lets go of me. "I said no. My dad won't allow it," he says stiffly. "There will be people keeping watch over you and the area, so you'll be fine."

I cross my arms and glumly look away. I hear him sigh and feel him shift beside me. "Baby, I'm sorry. You know I don't wanna leave you, but no human has ever gone where I'm going. It's to keep our secret safe."

"You don't trust me?" I ask, keeping my gaze averted. But Zay won't have it. He places his hand on my cheek and turns my face towards him so I have no choice but to stare into his deep eyes.

"Angel, of course I trust you," he says definitely. "But the leaders there might not have the same immediate trust."

He strokes his thumb on my cheek and leans closer. "But why think about that right now? We don't have to worry about me leaving yet." He touches his other hand to my back and his voice drops lower. "We still have a week to do whatever we please."

His lips meet mine without hesitation and I feel an explosion of warmth. I kiss him back eagerly and feel myself being eased backwards. Now his body is basically hovering over mine as he gently lays me back into his bed.

I put my hands on the sides of his stomach, and underneath his thin shirt I can feel the hard muscles in his abs. He nibbles at my bottom lip, making my body scream in pleasure. I grip his shirt and pull him closer to me, pressing my body into his. He groans and kisses me harder, cupping one hand behind my neck while the other is placed at my hip.

"I'm so glad you're mine," he whispers huskily in between kisses.

Zay's teeth softly bite my bottom lip again, and I gasp quietly. His teeth feel different. I open my eyes but he's already starting to back away.

Zay immediately shuts his mouth and opens his eyes that are now a golden brown. "I'm sorry," he breathes out bashfully. He rolls off of me and lies down beside me, breathing deeply.

I turn over so that I'm now the one on top. I stare into his beautiful eyes. "Zay, it's okay, I'm fine."

He looks away. "I don't want you to see me like this," he says in a gruff voice, barely opening his mouth.

"Hey," I whisper. I hold his face in my hands and force him to look at me. "This part of you is amazing. You shouldn't be ashamed of it. This is you, Zay. I want to see you."

With my thumb, I part his lips, revealing his long canines. I feel him staring at me, looking for signs of disgust, but that's far from what I feel. The sight of them makes me want him even more. I lean down, wanting his mouth on mine again, but he resists.

"I don't want to hurt you," he says shakily.

"It doesn't hurt, I like it," I say, suprising myself on how much I actually yearn for the feel again. Before he can argue more, I kiss him, enjoying it completely.

He is more hesitant, trying his best to touch me gently. But the more persistent I am, the more he fails. He touches my butt, and it buzzes. A couple of seconds later my butt buzzes again, and I realize it's my phone and not one of the crazy feelings I get when Zay touches me. I ignore it.

A few moments pass and the buzzing continues. "Someone's trying to get ahold of you," Zay whispers.

"I don't care," I whisper back.

I go to kiss him again but my ringtone breaks through the air. I let out an exasperated sigh and reach into my pocket, ready to go off on whoever couldn't wait a damn minute.

"What?"  I breathe out sharply.

"Amber? Honey where are you? You should be home by now." Her worried voice breaks my irritation.

I can't understand why shes worried though. I already told her I would be staying with Savannah...

And then I remember the little part I added about staying home for the weekends.

"Crap," I whisper to myself.

"Amber?" her voice comes again.

"Oh yeah sorry, mom. I just had to get my phone charger from Zay's house. I'm heading home right now."

"Zay's house? Why would it be at his house?" Oh, whoops.

"Oh, did I say Zay? I meant Sav." I'm not very good at this lying business.

Zay raises his eyebrow, but does not comment on my lame cover up.

I hear my mom sigh on the other end. "I thought I told you to give me a text or call if you were going to be somewhere."

"I know, but I didn't think it was gonna take that long. I got a little side tracked," I say, glancing at my distraction who is now smirking at me.

"Alright. Well, as long as I know you're safe. You said you're heading home now?"

"Yup. See you soon."

"Love you honey."

"You too, bye." I hang up.

Zay moves off of the bed and takes my hand to pull me off too. "Wanna tell me why you have to go home?"

"Yeaaah. I kinda told my mom I'd stay there on the weekends because she said she'd miss me." I expect him to be mad, but he just nods. If anything, he looks sad. "You can come over later," I add and he perks up a bit.

"Good, text me," he says giving me a warm hug.

I give him a kiss goodbye on his cheek and prepare to stealthily cross my front lawn to get home.