You Didn't Ask (Reader x Nea D. Campbell) {D Gray Man}

chapter 38

nea pov

i didnt want to believe it. i didnt want to lose myself in the dream. i wanted more than ever to deny the harsh reality. to live in the reality that i would die alone. at least that world felt real. i wanted to believe that i would wake up any minute now but its sooo hard. its so hard to resist the feeling. i tried time and time again to not immerse myself in the moment. to convince myself that this man didnt actually want me. that his hand racing over my body, feeling up my chest, wrapping around my waist, and.....well groping my ass rather lustfully. his desire for me was very hard to deny. i knew i was taking a risk here. i knew that if i were to give myself to this man, i would lose all control. its just....soooo hard to resist the feeling. its been sooo long since ive actually felt desired. since ive actually felt lusted after. as soon as he put the boy in his room, he was on me, his lips moving skillfully against mines. the moment my back was pressed against my bedroom door, i knew i needed him. i knew i needed him to want me, to need me, and to feel as if he couldn't go another day without me in his arms.

i resisted the urge to feel him up as we moved towards my king sized bed, him having kicked the door closed and locking it. i resolved myself not to even risk turning him off my such hands as mines roaming his youthful body. before i knew it, i was on my back, a man betwixt my legs, feeling on me as if i were 20 years younger. on of his hands made it inside of my jeans, caressing my behind shamelessly as if i weren't about 20 years his senior. one of his hands blindly undid my jeans. i felt them go slack before slowly sliding down off my hips and down my legs. he pulled away for the briefest of moments and discarded the accursed garment, leaving me in just my tee shirt and underwear. he could sense my disappointment at being the only one whose legs were made bare before him and undid his own jeans, quickly pulling them down and discarding them in the same manner as mines. his hands gripped my hips and pulled me down so that i laid directly under him. my face caught on fire as i felt something i haven't felt in a very long time, grinding its self against my underside: someone else's hard on. it was quite....large. probably the largest ive ever felt but i wasn't given the opportunity to take in his size. my shirt was pulled off aggressively and before i knew it, off when my boxers, leaving me completely exposed under him. the shame i felt at that moment was unlike any ive felt in my entire life. while i do work out to stay fit and healthy, my abs weren't near as defined as his when he removed his own shirt. i felt really.....soft against his solidity. his hands roamed my soft body, groping my bared bottom as if it were the finest thing he has ever felt in his life. he resisted the urge to remove his own undies, no doubt knowing that im not prepared for such a.....piece so soon.

he pulled away ever so slightly to look into my eyes. i had no idea what he could have saw in them to cause his lips to curl into a grin. a kiss, warm and fuzzy that made my entire body tremble in anticipation for the sexual activity its been deprived of for over a decade. i dont think ive ever been this hard in my life. he just felt so....good. his chest pressed against mines, his lips against the skin of my neck, not to mention his tight grip on my left butt cheek made me feel as if one more erotic touch would send me over the edge, forcing me to cum harder than i have in my life. he pulled away, this time putting two fingers in his mouth and swirling his tongue over them quickly. he lathered them with saliva quickly and i knew at that moment why it was important that i was extra clean just this morning when i showered. it was for this moment. when this man would come over and be with me in the way i had been missing for years. i watched in a mixture of fear and anticipation as his slicked fingers moved down and under my thigh. one slipped inside, making my back arch uncontrollably. it moved around inside me, feeling around for that little bundle of nerves. it felt a bit uncomfortable at first, ill admit. of course its to be expected. its been a long time since someone else has been inside me. shit. he grazed it. his slicked finger grazed it, making me throb. i thought this would be a game of cat and mouse, him constantly searching for it but never managing to pinpoint. the look in his eye completely changed, no doubt noticing my strained expression and his lips curled into a grin once again. his finger danced purposefully around the bundle of nerves, teasingly close. he knew what he was doing, didnt he? shit. it wont hurt if i just live in the moment, right? ive never not thought about what would happen in the future but this time.....this time i think its ok. at the very least i can enjoy this man. even if for one night. ok. just this once, im not going to think about the future. this time, im betting it all on this man.