5SOS Preferences (Under editing)

BSM: he likes your twin more (ashton/4)

Trigger warning, just like on the last one I'll add a suicide hotline number. Stay alive my lovelies💕 http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
(Unedited, let me know if I made any mistakes)
(15)
"You're worthless"

"Such a waste of space,"

"Maybe if you were more like your sister people would actually like you."

"Why are you even here? Can't you take a hint?"

"Why did you have to be born? Life was so much better without you."

All of these words, these harsh and hurtful things thrown at you, weren't only said by your bullies but your own brother. Your own blood. The only reason you were even still here is because of Lauren, your twin.
She tries to tell him to stop but he just won't. He truly believes you were the one who caused the car accident. The car accident that took your parents life and your unborn baby brother, Harry.
You were so little when it happened, but he is there to remind you that you were the one who had caused the death of your mum, dad and brother.
You can't remember the incident vividly but That doesn't stop Ashton from trying to make you remember.
You were sick that night, you wouldn't stop crying and so your parents drove you to the hospital. Ashton would have stayed with Lauren but she insisted she wanted to be there for you. She was left with permanent brain damage that impairs her hearing, she's not deaf, she just has problems hearing certain frequencies that most people should be able to hear like the average talking voice. She wears hearing aids now. Ashton still has a scar on his stomach from the glass that struck him during the wreck, but nothing major. You were only left with a broken arm and minor concussion.
Ashton believes with his whole heart that you were the reason your parents are dead, and you are starting to believe him. If you hadn't of been a Whiny brat that ash said you were being that night, your parents wouldn't have been struck by the drunken driver.
"Hey, idiot. Schools over. Go home." One of the girls from your class snickered. You sigh and get up out of your chair and get on the bus, the ride wasn't long but you wished it was. Home wasn't home to you anymore, it was just a house of horrid memories. You walked through the door and immediately wished you hadn't.
"Why do you even bother coming home? No one likes you. You killed mum and dad! Go to your room, you lousy piece of shit," Ashton screamed at you. Lauren would normally stand up for you but her hearing aids were on the coffee table because she was reading. You just nodded and made your way to your room, you didn't blame him for treating you the way he does, you hate yourself for being the cause of all of this.
You were finally going to take the hint everyone was dropping. What's the point of living if you can't even stand yourself? You weren't even going to bother writing a note, no one would care to read it anyways.
You went into the bathroom and turned the handle to the hot side on the faucet, you wanted to feel the pain you had caused on everyone, or more like the pain that they had caused you.
You've been waiting to do this for so long and you couldn't wait for the inevitable feeling of death to come to you. You stepped into the tub, soaking in the burning feeling you got. You sunk yourself down until you were completely submerged in boiling hot water, sucking in the steaming water into your lungs.
It hurt, it hurt so bad but you felt that you deserved it. You were such a burden to everybody and you were finally doing something that people would like for once.
You knew this would hurt Lauren even though you didn't deserve her love, she was the most kind and generous person you knew and you felt honoured to have her as a sister.
Your mind then drifted to Ashton. He was the last thought on your mind as the water in your lungs instead of the needed oxygen was starting to take its toll. You hoped this would allow Ashton to continue living, you wanted him to be able to focus on his beloved Lauren. Ever since the accident he's been insanely protective of her, and without you being there he'll be able to advert all of his attention on her. Your vision was fading and you knew you didn't have to wait much longer for the feeling you had craved for the longest of times. You felt your heart falter, and then, your life was taken away from you all at once. You were finally with your parents and brother.