My Heart Is Not Homophobic [boyxboy]

My Heart Is Not Homophobic {18}

                “JJ? What’s wrong?” Gabe asked in concern, noticing me. I chucked my phone at him and he barely managed to catch it. He read the message out loud and his face paled. “That sick fuck!” Pat growled. “I’ll kill him for saying that shit!”

                “His ass is grass. Which is green, by the way,” Felix said and slapped a hand over his mouth before he could launch into another rant. Even he knew when it just wasn’t the time to be a fucktard around me.

                “I’ll kill him now,” I snarled viciously and shot up off the couch. I began to storm towards their front door but Pat jumped up and grabbed my arm. “Let go!” I snapped. “JJ! JJ, calm down! JJ! God dammit Jason; calm the fuck down!”

                I froze and glared. “Don’t call me that,” I grumbled and he rolled his eyes and dragged me over to the couch, forcing me to sit down.

                “It’s your name. Now calm down,” he said simply. “Get him at school, so we can all help you dude. That kid wants to talk shit, he’ll get hit.”

                Pat had been in the room the whole time. There was no way he could’ve taken Milo’s phone and texted me off of it. There was just no fucking way. It had to have been Milo who had sent that text. He hadn’t mentioned his phone missing at all today.

                I could tell Pat was pissed but was trying to stay calm. “Look JJ, if we go to his house, there’s parents and shit to deal with. At school? Kick the shit out of him, and that’s that. Only River would help him and we know we can take him. Maybe Roman, too, if he’s stupid enough to try to help that sorry fucker.”

                I nodded reluctantly. Pat was right. “We kick his ass tomorrow,” I growled and Gabe, Pat, and Felix nodded in agreement. I got up and hesitated before glaring at Pat. “JJ,” I hissed. “Nothing else. Only my dads can call me by my actual name, Patrick.” He nodded and shrugged. “Sorry JJ. I was trying to get your attention. Won’t happen again.”

                Jason James Hottie. That was my actual name, but I much preferred JJ. It’s what I had always been called. I only let my dads call me Jason, and they rarely ever did that.

                Gabe glanced at me and nodded. “Yea, Pat. JJ and JJ only.” He hated it when people called him Gabriel. Felix stood up triumphantly. “Felix, and Felix only.”

                We all rolled our eyes at him as Gabe handed me back my phone. I was so pissed off. I was ready to rip someone apart. I had anger issues, and I knew it. But, hey, what could you do? That fucker wanted to insult my friends, my family, and the fact that I was adopted? Prepare to get the shit kicked right out of you.

                The next day, we went up to Milo in school. He gave me a small smile. “Hi JJ!” “Don’t you ‘Hi JJ’ me you sorry piece of shit,” I growled. He instantly got confused look. “What’s wrong, JJ?”

                I held out my cell phone with the message pulled up. His eyes widened. “I didn’t send that!” he cried. “I couldn’t even find my phone when I got home from school yesterday!” His eyes flicked to Pat and widened more. “Y-You!” he cried in shock. “You did it! River wasn’t lying!”

                “Don’t blame Pat! He was with me and he wasn’t texting!” I snapped and shoved him up against the lockers roughly. “Why would you say that shit? I was starting to trust you,” I whispered.

                “JJ, I swear on my life, I didn’t do it! I still don’t have my phone!” he said desperately. Pat slid up next to me and grabbed Milo’s shirt, getting right up in his face. “Shut the fuck up,” he hissed. I shoved Pat off him. Maybe…Maybe Milo really hadn’t done it…

                “Check my pockets and my bag, JJ. I don’t have my phone!” he said, a pleading look in his eyes. I glared but dug my hands into his pockets, not at all feeling awkward of the closeness of my hands to his manliness.

                I pulled my hands out and looked at him with pained eyes as I held out his cell phone. “JJ…I swear to god that wasn’t in my pocket before,” he said weakly. “Pat…He must’ve just slipped it into my pocket…”

                “You would’ve felt my put a fucking phone in your pocket you dumbass,” Pat snapped in annoyance. I nodded. Pat was right. Even he couldn’t possibly be that good.

                But suddenly, I felt small and terrified. I felt very claustrophobic. I can’t believe myself. I had almost let myself open up to someone I barely knew. I was so stupid. All it would lead to was pain. How I could be so stupid?

                I backed off Milo. Pat began to advance but I stuck my arm out and caught him in the chest. “Umph!” he muttered as I caught him off guard with that. “JJ…the fuck?” he asked in shock but I ignored him as I stared into Milo’s eyes in fear. No. No, I didn’t want to be hurt anymore. No more.

                I couldn’t take it. Not after River. I had really trusted him, and he had caused a ton of my trust issues after what he had done. “Leave him alone,” I whispered to Pat, Gabe, and Felix before turning and hurrying away, ashamed of myself for opening up like that. I had to be more careful. I couldn’t let people in. I just couldn’t do that.