My Heart Is Not Homophobic [boyxboy]

My Heart Is Not Homophobic {29}

                I walked over to Milo the next day and kissed him lightly on the lips. Gabe came over to us quietly and I glared at him and grabbed Milo’s hand. “You didn’t go to the doctor’s,” I said simply and he shrugged and nodded. “I know,” he said silently. “I didn’t want Pat to get in trouble. My mom’s scared and so am I. JJ…you know how close Pat and I are,” he whispered desperately.

                “Gabe, ignorance is bliss, or ignorance is stupidity. But while you try to figure that out, I’m going to walk away with Milo, because he knows just how crazy your little brother really is. He’s a danger to people, and if you keep ignoring it, he really is going to kill you. You owe my boyfriend your fucking life,” I hissed before pulling Milo away.

                “JJ, why are you so angry?” Milo asked with a deep frown. “Because my fucking life is falling apart Milo!” I exploded. “Pat’s mentally fucked, Felix isn’t too far behind, and Gabe’s slipping into depression because of it!”

                I was feeling super fucking stressed. “JJ, calm down,” Milo said gently. He kissed me and I sighed. “I’m scared, too. But I’m going to fix everything. I know how to, I think,” I said, praying I wouldn’t fuck everything up.

                So afterschool, I went home with Gabe. We went inside and Owen looked at me curiously. “I need to talk to him, Owen,” I said quietly. He nodded and led me back up to the closet, letting me in.

                “Finally going to admit I’m better than Milo?” Pat asked, not even looking at me. “No. I’m here to prove that you and I aren’t meant to be, Pat,” I said flatly. Now he looked at me. His crazy eyes locked on my tired ones. “Stand up,” I said, and he did.

                I walked over to him and hesitated before pressing my lips to his. He seemed shocked, but kissed back quickly. I didn’t feel anything I felt when I kissed Milo. No warmth, no happiness. Just lips on lips. Still, Pat wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me deeply.

                I wasn’t doing this to hurt Milo or cheat on him. I was simply doing this to prove to Pat that we weren’t meant to be together. It was just a kiss. I had no intention of kissing Pat ever again, and certainly no intention of breaking up with Milo for him.

                Pat finally pulled away from me. “See? Nothing. Lips on lips. That was all,” I said with a shrug. He glared. “It’s you and me, JJ.” I shook my head. “I love Milo,” I said, suddenly feeling exhausted. “Milo and only Milo. Not you, Pat. Get that through your head. I’m never going to date you. When we kiss, it doesn’t mean anything. When Milo and I kiss, it means something.”

                Pat’s eyes suddenly narrowed. “I get it, JJ. You came here to fuck with me. That’s all. You just want to fuck with my emotions. I bet Milo put you up to, huh?” I shook my head. “I came here by my own choice. Milo doesn’t even know I’m here, Pat. Stop being so paranoid,” I said.

                “I don’t believe this, JJ. You just want to fuck with me! I spend all day locked in a closet and then you come and fuck with my head and my heart! You sick fuck!” he wailed angrily.

                Pat’s mom, Marissa, came rushing into the closet. “Pat? Patrick, what’s wrong?” she asked. “He’s fucking with me!” Pat cried angrily. “He came here to fuck with me!”

                “No I didn’t!” I cried. “Pat, please calm down. JJ, I can’t believe you! Get out! Leave Patrick alone! He doesn’t feel good, and you’re upsetting him!” Marissa said angrily. She moved over to Pat and grabbed his hand. “Come on, Pat. I think you need to rest,” she said and began to pull him out towards his bedroom.

                “Pat, I wasn’t trying to fuck with you. I was just trying to get you to leave Milo alone!” I said desperately. The look in his eyes told me that I hadn’t actually helped anything, though. “I don’t believe you,” Pat hissed.

                “Pat, stop it. JJ, please, just go away if all you’re going to do is upset him!” Marissa cried. “I didn’t mean to upset him! I just want him to stop attacking my boyfriend!” I snapped. She couldn’t keep playing ignorant like this. There was something very, very wrong with her son, and she needed to accept it already.

                “Get out of here JJ! Pat didn’t attack anyone!” she cried and pulled him into his bedroom. I sighed and went downstairs.

                “I heard everything, JJ. Don’t worry about it. She’s in denial. And who can blame her? Pat’s her little boy. She doesn’t want to admit he’s mentally fucked. Look, just don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of my son,” Owen said with a sigh of his own.

                I went home and stayed in my room, my phone off. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Had I done the right thing? Or had I just made everything worse? I was such a fucking idiot.

                I went into school the next day, and searched around for Milo. “Milo! There you are. I couldn’t find you,” I said as I went over to him. He looked at me with hurt eyes. “You cheated on me,” he whispered, pain in his voice. My eyes widened. “What?” I asked in shock. “No I didn’t!”

                “They told me. I didn’t believe them, but they told me,” he whispered. I looked over and saw Pat smirking, Gabe next to him, no emotion in his eyes. “Bye JJ,” Milo said quietly and walked away from me, leaving me shattered.