Monsters Inside Him (Completed)

Chapter 41: Threat

His eyes met mine and I saw how hurt he looked, but the pain in his eye was quickly masked. That’s what he does- suppresses things until he can’t control them any longer and then I get hurt.

Not this time.

“Zayn!” I raised my voice a little to make sure that he knew how serious I was being. His eyes met mine again and his jaw clenched.

“What? What do you want from me, Darlin’? What could you possibly want from me now?!” He immediately started to yell at me openly, ignoring the people going in and out of the grocery store. They all pretended not to stare, but I saw wary eyes watching me.

“I just want you to talk through this, please.” I begged him. It was like something flicked a switch and set him off. Before I could even react, his fist curled up and slammed into the side of his car. I let out a small yelp and covered my mouth in shock.

He aimed his violence at something besides me.

“God Dammit!” He shouted, his voice coming out in a snarl. I wanted to reach out and give him a hug, or at least squeeze his shoulder in reassurance, but I was too afraid. I stayed where I was and tried to remain below his radar.

“I can’t fucking talk about this! You know that!” He shouted again, kicking his tire roughly. I watched as he hit his car two or three more times, letting all of his fury and pain out onto the hunk of expensive metal. Dents were forming on one side and his knuckles were getting bloody.

I felt like I was being selfish by not stopping him. He was only going to hurt himself by taking on a car, but I couldn’t bring myself to be on the painful end of his fist any more.

He finally turned to me, his eyes black as they usually are when he gets in these moods. I scan up and down his body only to find his knuckles bruised. Everything else seemed to be intact. He was breathing heavily and his fists were still clenched, but I think the worst of it was over.

Thank God.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“It’s ok.” He whispered back between rough breaths. I looked down at my hands and opened my stupid mouth again, being a dumbfuck like usual.

“I think you should forgive your mom.”

What was I thinking? Lord only knows. Zayn stared at me incredulously for a moment before letting out an obnoxious snort.

“You didn’t think that one through, so I’m letting it go.”

“I did think it through,” I defended, “I think that you’d feel better if you worked this out.” I stood my ground, feeling a little more confident now that he had the chance to beat up a vehicle and not his girlfriend.

“Hannah, you’re fucking with me right now. That bitch left me alone with an alcoholic when I was a kid! A fucking kid! I didn’t hear one word from her.” He pointed his finger in my face, his whole being beginning to tremble again.

“People make mistakes, Zayn. I know you have your fair share.” I muttered softly, lowering my voice with the hopes that he’d do the same.

“SHE LEFT ME WITH HIM! You’ve got no fucking idea how much that hurt!”

“You’ve hurt people too, Zayn. If you work through this with her, I think you can-”

“I’ve never hurt a kid. Ever. All the people I’ve ever hurt haven’t been innocent. Back then, I was innocent. I was 11 fucking years old. I hadn’t done anything wrong and she left me.”

“I was innocent and you hurt me.” He looked me dead in the eye and shook his head.

“That was different, Darlin’. My mother… She…” He couldn’t even come up with a response. The wheels were turning in his head, but he couldn’t defend himself. He knew that what he did was much worse than what his mother did.