only us // sdmn

×twenty-eight×

Josh pulled his sleeves over his hands to warm up since it was still really early and it was October, so it was freezing.
It was honestly probably cold enough to start snowing any second now.

He took the same route as he did before, so he could pass the park and the lake where he found Simon.
He felt kind of bad for lashing out in him, he didn't mean to.

He grumbled, kicking a crumpled up dr pepper can that was in front of him on the floor, and watched it as it landed somewhere in the grass.

The same street lamp that was on earlier still illuminated the grass underneath it, just like it did when he found Simon here.

There was a silhouette sat underneath the light, leaning against the lamp post. It looked oddly familiar.

He got closer and the facial features became more clear.
He had Simon's hair.
Simon's face structure.
Simon's long limbs.
He already knew it was Simon.

Josh knelt down beside him, looking at the floor and noticing the bottle wrapped in Simon's fingers.

''Oh, Simon..'' He sighed underneath his breath as he took it out of his hand, noticing it was empty.

''Simon? Simon, can you hear me?'' He whispers gently, shaking his shoulder.

He earns a few grumbles, and Simon lifts his hand to swat Josh's away.

''Wake up, Si..'' He whispers again, taping him. This time it causes him to open his eyes.

Simon rubbed his eyes and stretched, before looking at Josh as if nothing happened.

''What're you doing out here at around 4 in the morning again, with a bottle of alcohol?'' He asks.

''Give it back!'' He shouts, reaching out for the bottle but Josh quickly moved it from his reach.

''You don't need it.''

''Give it!'' He whines, pulling Josh's arm towards him and grabs it.

''Its empty. What're you going to do with it?''

He grumbles, throwing it towards the floor and it cracks.

''Someone's a bit violent.''

''Shut up.'' He grumbles, crossing his arms.

''Did you drink the whole thing?'' Josh asks, looking at the bottle.

Simon looks towards it and sighs, pulling his knees towards his chest and burying his head.

''I didn't mean to.'' He said, his voice slightly cracking.

''Hey, there's no need to cry about it'' he whispers, putting his arm around him.

''I deserve it anyway. After everything I've done.'' Simon says, lifting his head back up.

''You don't deserve it, Si.''

''I should've killed myself! I should've died! Not them, they did nothing wrong! They had something to live for, I didn't!'' He suddenly shouts, with tears falling down his face, and picks up the bottle and throws it as far as he can.

''Simon, stop! There's no need for you to kill yourself! How would you feel if JJ knew that you'd died? Would that help him? Especially with the state he's in.'' Josh says, pulling Simon closer to him and keeping his arms around him.

''I don't care! I deserve to die more than anything! I can't fucking live like this!'' He continues.
He starts crying harder and throws his arms around Josh, leaning against his shoulder.

''You don't deserve to die. I know it's hard, but you've done so well to cope with it. You've managed to cope while I was gone, and you can cope now. I still need you here, Simon, I need you here more than anything.'' Josh whispers, feeling more tears soak through his hoodie.

''You're just drunk. You don't mean anything you're saying. You'll be okay later.'' He says.

''Can you take me home?..'' Simon asks in a quiet whisper.

''Of course, Simon. Can you get up?''

Simon takes his arms from around Josh and attempts to stand up, but his legs are shaky and weak.

''Let me carry you.''

''I don't need you to carry me. I can walk myself.'' Simon quickly says in defence.

''If you say so.'' Josh says, getting up easily.

He looks over at Simon, who looks like he's about to collapse again.

''Are you sure you're okay to walk?'' He asks, reassuringly.

''I said I'm.. Fi-'' he starts, but then yawns and stretches, and his legs look like they could break any second.

''Simon, come here. You look like you're about to collapse.''

He gives in, slowly walking towards Josh.

''Get on my back.''

''You can't have me on your back all the way home! I'm too heavy!'' He retorts.

''I don't care. You're not able to walk the whole way.'' Josh says.

Simon puts his hands on Josh's shoulders before jumping up, hooking his legs around Josh's waist and leaning against his back, wrapping his arms around his neck.

''See? You're not too heavy.'' Josh says, making Simon laugh quietly.

''I finally got you to laugh again.'' He points out, making Simon smile and slightly blush, nuzzling his face into the back of Josh's neck, slowly beginning to fall asleep again.