Just Say It

Hawaii

I wake up this morning and hear Olivia throwing up in the bathroom.

I rush in, kneeling behind her and pulling her hair out of her face with my left hand, and pushing back her bangs with my right.

She reaches back frantically for me, gripping my leg, her nails digging into my skin.

She drops back into my arms and I feel her body shudder against me.

I wipe the tears from her cheeks and she takes a shaky breath.

"You okay to stand up?" I ask quietly.

She shakes her head no.

"I'm still dizzy." She says.

I sit on the ground, holding her to my body.

She starts to stand up and I get up with her, keeping her steady.

She brushes her teeth and washes her face in the sink. She takes a couple steps before she starts to sway. I don't give her a chance to to fall.

I pick her up, carrying her across the huge room and put her in bed.

I glance at the clock, realizing that it's 4:30 in the morning.

I climb into the bed next to her and she reaches for me.

I pull her close and she starts to cry again.

"I'm sorry, baby girl." I say, kissing the top of her head.

"I'm sorry, El, I'm sorry." She says.

"Don't be sorry, Liv." I say, brushing her hair out of her face.

She takes a deep breath as I stroke her hair and she finally falls asleep and so do I.

I fall asleep soon after, still holding her close to me.

I wake up a couple hours later and Liv is still asleep.

Olivia's arm is draped over my chest and I put my arm around her and lean over to grab the phone.

I order breakfast that I know won't make Liv sick and wait for it to come.

I brush my thumb across her cheek and I watch her eyes flutter open.

"Morning baby..." I say softly.

She smiles and I hear a knock on the door.

I stand up to answer the door and two boys push carts of food into the room.

Olivia's sitting up in bed in her bra and underwear.

Both of the boys crack a smile.

Olivia pulls the covers up to cover herself.

"Get out." I say harshly.

They both leave quickly.

Olivia laughs softly.

The one thing I've learned this far into this pregnancy is that even when Olivia's morning sickness is at its worst she can always keep down fruit and peppermint tea settles her stomach.

I hand her the tea and she sits up to kiss me.

"There's fruit and pancakes if your stomach can handle it." I say, settling into bed next to her with my coffee.

She leans into me and I kiss her forehead.

"What do you want to do today?" She asks.

"There's great snorkeling and the walk is only about 15 minutes." I say.

"That sounds amazing." She says.

We eat breakfast in bed before putting in swim suits.

Liv walks out of the bathroom in a white string bikini.

She ties a sarong around her waist before asking me if I'm ready to go.

Goddamn my wife is perfect.

I grab the bag of snorkeling stuff and take her hand.

As soon as we get the beach we put on the gear and get into the water.

The swim out next to reef isn't long but it is beautiful.

The rainbow colored fish are amazing and so is the coral reef.

Olivia touches my hand and points the the right.

Holy shit. That's a giant sea turtle.

Her smile is so bright.

We're out there for almost an hour.

As soon as we get back to the hotel room we both get in the shower.

As great as snorkeling is, it leaves you with a lot of sand in your hair.

Olivia comes out with a white halter top sundress on and her hair in loose waves.

"God you are beautiful." I say, pulling her into my arms to kiss her.

"I see this great little cafe on our walk back from the beach," She says, "Maybe we could take a walk, grab lunch? I'm starving."

"Sounds great..." I say with a soft smile.

She pulls on insanely tall wedges before we leave.

We eat lunch in the tiny cafe, overlooking the water, talking about what we're going to do for the rest of the trip.

After our lunch we walk on the beach a little bit. Olivia holds her wedges in her hand, holding my hand with the other.

She's not wearing any makeup and the salty ocean air has given her hair perfect waves. She just looks so content and relaxed. So happy to be here. This is by far the most relaxed I've ever seen her.

And it's amazing. It really is.

We get back to our hotel room and she yawns.

"You sleepy?" I ask quietly.

"A little." She says shrugging shyly.

"Not surprised..." I say, "You didn't sleep very well last night."

She shrugs again, reaching for a bottle of water.

"Why don't you take a nap?" I suggest.

"El, we're on vacation." She says.

"Exactly." I Say, wrapping my arms around her, "We're on vacation. Take a nap, relax. That's what this is about. We're not on any kind of schedule."

"El..." She says in protest.

I pull back the covers on our bed and she reluctantly crawls into the bed.

"Hell, I'm tired too." I say, laying down behind her.

She smiles at me gratefully and closes her eyes. She's asleep within a matter of minutes.

I'm not sure exactly when but I fell asleep too.

I woke up about an hour and a half after she had fallen asleep. I let her sleep a little bit longer before waking her up.

We got up and ready to go to dinner.

We had a quiet dinner, cuddled up together in some romantic, dimly lit restaurant.

After dinner we started walking on the beach while the sun set.

At some point she stopped. Absolutely amazed by the gorgeous orange and pink sunset.

She shivers slightly and I wrap my arms around her as we sit down on the beach.

She rests her face in the crook of my neck as she holds on to me.

"This is perfect, El..." She says, "I love you."

"I love you too, baby..." I say softly, kissing her forehead.

I still can't believe she's my wife.