authors note: i wrote this to go with oblivion by bastille, its one of my favourite songs (listen here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlcDX77rzPM) i recomend listening to it while you're reading. not yet.
over the next few hours everyone beside calum, liz and i had left, calum was now in the room, sitting down with his back against the wall and his head in his hands. liz was pacing back and forth, biting her nails to stubs. i was still in the same place i was before, sitting next to him, gripping his hand in mine. i looked over his body, he looked vulnerable, almost, childlike. "please" i whispered "please wake up"
(play song now)
liz must have said something to calum because he was now standing, making his way out of the room, i watched him sit in the waiting room, the nurses offered him a blanket to which he accepted but it sat folded in the chair next to him.
"alex, i have to go, ill be back tomorrow afternoon, im sorry" liz said, her voice muffled.
i pulled out my phone and my earphones, i put one in and placed the other next to luke, i rested my head on my hand as the first song started to play.
i stared at luke as the lyrics filled my ears, i started to remember the first day i met him, seeing him joke with calum, i remembered his grey blue eyes filled with lust when tom had his hand around me. i remember his calming voice in class. i remember walking to his house that first day, him standing up for me against michael. i remember his voice singing therapy, his fingers playing guitar, i remember the night of the first gig, the girls that where there, the confidence in lukes eyes. the night he told me his feelings, i remember his shaking body, the way his cold lips felt against mine when we kissed for the first time.
i remember when we told the fans about us, when we sung to them. this all seemed like years ago but in reality it was only two nights ago. two nights, my body shook when i realised that two nights ago luke was a normal teenage boy, he laughed, smiled, cried, like every other person,, now, he looks cold, lifeless. his cheeks pale where there once was a slight flush of pink, his golden hair hung across his forehead with the absense of product, his lip peircing against his cold lips. the only colour in his face was the obvious dark circles under his eyes.
i began to cry, it was all my fault, he wouldnt be in this position if it wasn't for me.
"i should've went" calums voice interrupted me "if i just went to go pick them up he wouldnt be like this" he started to cry. "im sorry for kissing you" he sighed "im sorry for thinking i ever had a chance"
he walked closer to luke and placed his hand on lukes "im sorry mate, i was such a shit friend, i knew you had a thing for alex long before you met her" "im sorry for making you go. but please" calum sobbed "i need you" he dropped his head in his hands and sat down again, back against the wall, rocking back and forth, i should comfort him, i thought, he loved him just as much as i did. but for some reason i couldn't bring myself to do it. i felt useless, helpless. there had to be something i could to do help. i knew there was nothing.
i stood up and looked over luke, i ran my hand across his face, kissed his cheek and sat down again. i rested my head against the hospital bed as the last notes of the song started to play.
"please" i whispered. "please luke, i miss you" i rubbed my thumb against the back of his hand. "i love you" i heard myself say before i drifted off to sleep.
