chapter 14

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we stayed at the beach all day until it was basically vacant. we decided we wanted to stay at the beach until late. the boys built a small fire and we all sat around it talking. ash and sam kept to themselves, which i liked, i couldnt handle another panic attack. i layed on luke's lap with him running his fingers through my hair. talking and laughing with the rest of the boys. 

"come on alex" calum said as he held out his hand "lets go for a walk. "

strangely enough i havent really spoken to calum much since luke asked me out, we talked in a group and everything, but never just us two. 

we walked along the beach in silence for a few minuets before calum finally spoke. 

"thank you" he mumbled

"for what"

"for staying around, ive seen the twitter hate, you could easily just walk away from luke, but you stay, thats pretty cool" he smiles and nudges me

"thanks" i try my best to smile as all of the hate i once read floats through my mind. 

"you really have changed luke, in a good way dont worry, he just seems happier with you around" he said with a sigh

"come on calum" i gently push him "i cant have you getting all sappy with me"

"what ever you say alex" he begins tickling my sides, picks me up, and throws me over his shoulder. 

"dont you dare hood" i scream as he runs closer to the water  "its goig to be fucking freezing" i screamed and kicked. my screams where suddenly muffled as calum threw us both into the water. 

"screw you" i kicked his side. 

"There is something else i needed to tell you" he lifts me out of the water and places his hands on either side of my head. 

"uh, yes what i--" my sentence is stopped when i felt calums soft lips on mine. i didnt push away, instead i felt myself kiss him back. what was i doing. i quickly pushed him off, his hands still on my face. 

"i needed to do that" he placed his hands next to him "just once" he started to walk out of the water and i followed. "you see alex, i've liked you for a while, but then luke came around and, well even though it killed me too see you two together, i was glad you where happy." "i tried to push my feelings for you away but i simply couldnt, each time you kissed luke i imagined myself in his place." 

"i wont tell luke about this" i say almost inaudiably.

"thanks" he said

"but that doesnt mean im not pissed off, you dont talk to me for years and suddenly you say you have a crush on me" i raised my voice "you left me clueless trying  to figure out what feelings i had for you and you didnt say anything, then you go and introduce me to your bestfriend, someone i genuinely care about, and expect me to drop everything for you." im now shouting at him "the truth is, we couldve had something, but because you didnt have enough balls to do something about it we're left in this position, with an awkward kiss." 

i stormed off towards the campfire. "dont even think about following me hood" i hissed.

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