we don't talk anymore

shattered glass.

"tyler, you need to eat."

"i ate at school."

"no you didn't, tyler."

"yes i did-" my stomach growls.

i stare at my plate of food and move my steak around with my fork. my mom keeps asking me to eat, sounding defeated and desperate. i haven't eaten much all week and have no appetite.

"can i go to my room now?" i ask, looking up at her. she looks at me, her sad eyes look down at her folded hands.

"go to sleep, love." she whispers. i nod and get up from my seat and run up the stairs. i hear music from my sister's room. i walk down the long, dark hallway and close my bedroom door behind me. i run my hands over my face and sigh.

fuck.

i don't know what's wrong with me, but it won't stop. i can't eat, i can't sleep. i can't stop crying.

i pace back and forth between my room and turn my hands into fists (A/N: TURN OUR GUNS INTO A FIST OR IF YOU'RE MEME TRASH ARTHUR MEMES LMAOOO I HATE MYSELF). i let out a sigh and find it hard to breathe. my face crumples up and my eyes sting. i keep pacing back and forth, not knowing what else to do. my chest tightens and i stop pacing to throw a picture of josh and i. we were about 9 years old and in his front yard. we were in our halloween costumes, no one knew what we were and i can't remember, but it didn't matter at the time. we were happy.

but that's changed.

the glass shatters against the wall and goes all over my floor. i breathe heavily and my vision goes blurry. i rub my eyes, only for hot tears to fall out and go down my cheek. i wipe them away and glare at the mess i made.

i hear a knock on my door and my sister scream from the other side, "tyler! keep it down! i don't want to hear you losing your damn mind for the third time this fucking week!".

i just stand there, quiet and my stomach growls.

"okay." i say quietly.

"sorry." i say, mainly to myself.

|-/

i sit at my piano and place my microphone inches in front of my face. i open up my notebook and turn to the song i was writing. i don't know what i want it to be called, i only have a few lyrics and notes written down.

i look at my clock on the wall and it says 1:23A.M. my mom and sister are asleep and i find it hard to keep my eyes open. i let out a yawn but shake my head, ignoring my exhaustion and determining to finish this song tonight.