I Hate You ➸ DH

Part 13

Emily's POV:

I shouldn't even be that upset, we weren't even dating for that long, yet I feel so horrible and lonely without him. I may of not shown it but I really loved hanging out with him, even if it was as friends, I loved being around him for no apparent reason. I can't even do that anymore because he totally blanked me out of nowhere, telling me that I shouldn't get caught up in his shit.

Yes he did have some pretty bad friends that did some bad stuff, but surely he wouldn't be in that deep with them. At Josh's party no one seemed really mad that we were together. Maybe he just said that to me because he was sick of me.

Yeah, that seems like something he'd do.

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"Emily are you okay?" Phil asked me as he took his seat in the canteen with me and Calvin. "Yeah i'm fine" I lied trying to avoid letting them know anything about me and Dan, they thought that I completely hated Dan.

Even after the breakup I didn't hate him, I could never be mad at him. The way he made me feel the way when he touched me I would get chills, none of these were sour memories. I still adore him.

But the way he could just leave me alone in my room, bawling my eyes out after he gave me some bullshit excuse as to why he was breaking up with me. I hated everything about that.
"I'm just gonna get some water real quick" Calvin informed us breaking off my thoughts.

My eyes started to wonder around the canteen as Phil told me some story of how he saw a squirrel attempting to fly in his science lesson. I wasn't listening, I was only thinking about one thing.

And if on que my eyes landed on the one thing I was thinking about, Dan. He was sat with Josh and a few other dicks. He seemed deep in thought too, maybe he was thinking about me. Suddenly his eyes started back at my ones and they were locked on each others.

I could feel myself getting lost in his mysterious brown ones even from the other side of the hall, I could never stop myself from getting stuck in their trance.

"One pound for this tiny fucking bottle" Calvin groaned slamming his water bottle onto the table causing me to ripped away from Dan's gaze. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear trying to forget that I ever saw Dan today. I quickly looked back up to see Dan talking to his friends again normally as if he never saw me.

~one week later~

I had been dreading Louise's big birthday party for ages, I was awkward at parties already but Dan being there was going to make it so much worse. At least this time I'll actually know some people apart from him. Everyone loved Louise so that means everyone was going to be there.

Maybe he'll realise where he went wrong and take me back, or he'll hook up with somebody else. I looked in the mirror and barely recognised the girl in the reflection. My face was caked with makeup, hair straightened as much as possible, absolutely no body hair anywhere, clothes a bit too tight. Afterall, I just wanted to impress him tonight. 

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I recommend skipping to 2:55 on this for the actual music to begin

"I'm just gonna go and grab another drink!" I told Dodie, who'd I'd been hanging out with at this party just to make sure I go nowhere near Dan. I quickly ran off of the dancefloor and into the kitchen just so I could escape the sight of Dan and his new girl, Cat, getting all handsy on the dancefloor. 

It had been one week and Dan had already moved on, I know i'm not that great but I think i'm worth more than a bloody week. "Can you pass me the vodka please" an awkward small voice called from the corner of the kitchen. "um yeah sure" I mumbled wiping the petty tears that had started to build up in my eyes and grabbed the bottle of vodka. 
"here you go-" I started but I stopped talking as soon as I saw the other person in the kitchen to be Dan. "Thanks" he spoke quietly as I passed him the bottle, his fingers lingered on mine for a bit as he pulled away making me want to curl up into a ball and cry. 

That small touch reminded me how much I missed him, how he still gave me chills, that I couldn't go on with this party seeing him with somebody else and how I was nowhere near close to getting over him. 

As soon as he was done with pouring the vodka straight into his red solo cup, he left it on the counter leaving me alone in the kitchen with tears threatening to spill. I grabbed a cup and poured some vodka into my cup, not even bothering to dilute it with lemonade or something. 

I took a long sip of the vodka trying to not feel as empty and sad, my mouth burned with the foul taste of pure vodka. But I didn't care about the taste as I saw Dan chatting and laughing with Cat on the sofa as I was crying in the kitchen. 

I pulled out my phone to call a taxi and go home, my fingers shakily dialed the taxi company to take me home knowing I couldn't handle it here anymore. It was ringing, now I could finally be away from Dan, suddenly Evan burst into the kitchen to come and get me. "Emily we're playing spin the bottle come on!" he slurred grabbing my free hand. "uh sure" I smiled quickly hanging up the line. 

I sat in between Dodie and Evan and tried my hardest to act like I was happy and enjoying myself. "You alright Emily?" Dodie asked me, guess my acting was pretty shit "Yeah I'm fine, just uh waiting to play" I smiled. 

I really just zoned out for most of the game, it was just basic party bullshit. That was until it was Dan's turn to spin. And of course, it landed on Cat. I was slightly relieved that it didn't land on me because I know that if he kissed me i'd break down crying, but there was a huge part of me that wanted to kiss him one last time. 

The relief I felt was quickly replaced with a mix of sadness and jealousy as soon as their lips collided. Sure the kiss was quick but it was also passionate and I could tell that Dan was enjoying himself, right in front of me. 

"Alright who hasn't spun yet!" Joe sugg called out laughing at Dan and Cat, "Emily hasn't!" Emma slurred merrily spilling her drink everywhere. I started to panic as everyone turned their eyes onto me, I couldn't pass it up now. "Woooo come on Em!" Louise cheered me on making me laugh a little bit. 

I reached for the bottle until I was cut off by Cat's obnoxious and squeaky voice "Stop encouraging her you idiots, I feel so sorry who has to kiss that ugly troll freak" she spat out laughing. My slight smile was knocked off of my face and I could feel tears building up again. The silence from everyone after she said that was awful. 

Everyone just glared at Cat for being a bitch and gave me this horrible look of pity, the same look you'd give to a kitten who had no legs. "I um... I'm just gonna use the... bathroom" I sniffled not really being to articulate any of my sentences. 

I headed for the door as quickly as I possibly could, trying my hardest not to draw any attention to myself. In the corner of my eyes I saw Dodie and Louise running after me which made me go even faster. I didn't even bother saying goodbye to anyone. 

I just wanted to go home and cry