Summertime Sadness (James McAvoy fanfiction)

Chapter 51: "Sonne"

''I don't want to go.''

''Well, me neither, but you have to.'' I replied, kissing the top of his head while we were walking.

''Why?'' He asked, meaning my wedding ring, touching with the tip of his fingers the gold.

''Because it belonged to someone special for me once.'' I sighed, narrowing my eyes. That chat again.

''To whom?'' He asked again, looking at me attentively.

''Jamie, you're such a gossip two-years-old kid.'' I chuckled and he pouted.

''Mama...'' He replied, pouting.

''Listen to me.'' I sighed again, crouching. ''One day I will tell you, but today, I won't because... Well, it doesn't matter.'' I paused, fixing his shirt. ''We are going to look for some things I need for work, right? It will be quick.''

''But I feel sick.'' He complained. I rolled my eyes kissing his forehead.

''You're a smart kid, but it doesn't work with me.'' I laughed. ''Later you can visit Evan and Erik if you want, they miss you.''

''Really?'' Jamie said with bright eyes.

''Really.'' I said. ''But now, we have to go honey.''

Jamie was born two years ago. Exactly when James and I just ended up things because of my memory loss. But by the time that happened, James wasn't there, and no one gave me any reason. He was missing in action.

I found I was pregnant at the hospital while I was staying there. So, as I was alone, I moved to my old apartment, in which I didn't spend as much time as I used to, mainly because I travelled way too much to Germany to visit my aunt. It did hurt a lot. Not just the thing I didn't know anything else about James. It was the pregnancy too. I had to deal with it all alone, and if it wasn't because of the people I had behind me, I wouldn't have made it. Exactly Erik and Evan, also Natasha, helped me so much with the kid while I was there teaching. Somehow Michael did too. I knew he asked about me so much at the academy.

The reason I didn't want to tell Jamie about the ring was because that day was our wedding anniversary, and he was far too young to understand and to know. It was because of the pain within my soul. 

However, I didn't know how I would tell my son about his father. And this last one couldn't hesitate, because the kid was exactly as James but blonde haired.

Anyway, we bought everything I needed and then, left to carry him with Erik and Evan so I could rest for a bit at home. While we were walking, I found someone familiar to me, and he did too.

''Victoria?'' He asked, walking towards us.

''Fassbender, how long.'' I replied, grabbing Jamie's hand.

''Mom, who?'' His tiny voice said.

''He's a good friend of mine, love.''

''It's good to see you.'' Michael said, looking attentively at Jamie.

''You're a jerk.'' I sighed. ''It's a bit late, I have to take Jamie to Evan's house, if you wait, we can talk calmly.''

''Sure.'' He replied and smiled to Jamie while we left. ''Bye buddy.''

''It's been such a long time.'' I said, squeezing his arm softly later.

''I'm so sorry, honey.'' He said. ''I had to leave and when I came back, you weren't there. At the hospital I mean.''

''Because James and I broke up.'' I replied, walking slowly with him to his house. ''Indeed, he abandoned me two years ago.''

''We'll talk about that later.'' Michael replied, stuffing his pockets to find the keys. ''So, you have a child now.''

''Yeah... Jamie.'' I said smiling and chuckling because of the similarity of their names, exactly because I named my son same as his father, as I always wanted to.

''How old is he?''

''Two years old.'' I sighed, coming in when he opened the door. ''Now you are uncle, as you always wanted.''

''What about the father?'' He asked again, taking off my jacket and leading me to the main living room.

''He dropped me out two years ago, I've told you.'' I mumbled.

''James?'' He questioned, opening more his eyes.

''I don't get why the surprise because the kid is the smallest version of... Well, your friend.'' I affirmed. ''I found out at the hospital when I woke up.''

''Does he know?'' Michael asked.

''Of course he doesn't.'' I hissed. ''I don't even know where is he.''

''Well, he's been looking for you all of the time, I can assure that.'' Michael began and I rolled my eyes. ''Victoria, just listen to me, please.''

''I do.'' I mumbled.

''James is still loving you.'' He sighed resigned, grabbing my hands. ''The reason why he left you alone, is that your brother and also Joey threatened him, saying that you would... Suffer if he tried to be with you again. At least that's what he told me.'

''But someone could have told me, Michael.'' I said tired.

''I knew this one year later.'' He affirmed. ''I know you are in pain and...''

''Indeed I am!'' I exclaimed. ''He left me, abandoned me and didn't tell anyone to call me. He didn't make an effort to find me! Stop concealing things!''

''Because he wanted to protect you!'' Michael said. ''You both still love each other, for fuck's sake.''

''I'm over it.'' I shrugged, looking away.

''Sure.'' He sighed. ''Then, why do you get mad?''

''Because he's the dickhead who left me when I needed most.''

After a few talking about James, Michael and everything that happened between those missing years, I checked out the hour to pick up Jamie from Evan's.

''Michael, I'd love to stay here longer, but I have some things to do.'' I said, getting up.

''Why don't you come here with him tomorrow night to have dinner?'' He suggested. I bit my lower lip lightly.

''Well... We'll be here, don't worry.'' I sighed, still on my feet.