hardships and ease

decisions-good and bad

After hearing what ruba said about her Sara had never felt so outcasted before in her life , Even when her parents died her extended family was there for her Or when kareem was no more  then also she had support of her family and Anaya but now she felt like she didn't belong in her own house, a house where she has  been living  for years.

now that she was thinking she can't help but conclude that samar had also went abroad to study  because of her as why her parents would send their only son so far away from them.she realised she was the reason .she felt  guilty as she didn't knew how  many times their parents must have  compromised  because of her and had  to choose between samar and her

no, she can't be the reason of their distress anymore because she knew if ruba would put a demand of moving out of the house after marriage samar won't accept it and their relationship  will  get destroyed because of her ,she can't let that happen.

she didn't sleep a wink that night which gave her a lot of  time to think she has decided she can't be any more burden and will not let samar suffer  any more because of her and was going to tell her parents that she is going to move in her apartment  where she used to live with kareem ,her parents will not let her live alone that is why she is going to ask her in laws to move in with her she was positive they will accept as they would go any lengths to help her they have always been her support system and even when their son has died they have regularly came to meet her and anaya and always said that if she wanted to live with then she can come anytime

surely her parents would be  angry with her and will throw a fit but she would make them understand she have to.. she doesn't have any other choice

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samar felt so relieved    it felt like a huge  burden just got loaded off from her body .he had told her mother she can't marry ruba not when he has feeling for some other girl

yes he has accepted her feeling for sara but he didn't know how and when he started having these feeling

but he has never felt like this before .this feeling were so new for him and he can't even explain it in words but he knew that sara is not there yet and if  he had to  than he would wait for her which is why he hadn't told about these feeling for sara to her mom as he didn't want her  to get excited   but he had to admit he is a little scared....alright a lot scared of how her mother will react to this .he has no idea if she will be happy or angry hearing this but he is hoping and praying that the news gives her nothing but happiness.

..................

sara has successfully managed  to avoid her mother eyes the whole day but she knew her mother is not fool obviously like always  she has sensed something and she was just giving sara time as her mother  knew sara will eventually tell her what she is holding back from her

but sara knew she has been a coward and she can't waste any more time so as soon as samar left to meet his friend she made her way to his parents room where they were resting after dinner

she knocked the door and entered the room her mother motioned her to sit beside her .she was so nervous ,she didn't know how she was going to break this news news to them without getting them angry ,sad or disappointed . but the truth is she is going to do it she had talked to her mother in law in the morning and it had been so emotional  they had  talked for half and  hour fatema (sara's mother in law)  has said that she would be glad to have her daughter and granddaughter back she hasn't asked   her the reason of this sudden decision and she was glad for it .sara has told fatema that she haven't got the time to talk to her  parents about it but as soon as they will agree she will move in them.

sara knew it would be hard moving in the house where she has spent so many loving memories with her husband and honestly she was dreading it as this would be the first time she would visit that place after kareem's death .she didn't know she was going to live there without him being there with her

she was  lost in her thought  but came back to attention when she saw her mother wiping her tears. her mother hugged her and said

"sara what happened,you have been off the whole day  ,just tell me dear"

when her dad saw her crying he was immediately on guard "sara just tell us dear we have been  so worried for you ,aneesa even called me in the afternoon to talk about you, did something happened ,did anybody say anything to you? "said jabir in his calming voice

sara knew she can't prolong it any more so she took a long breath and said

"mom ,dad i want to move out of this house and want to live in my house house again " her voice was so strong that it sounded foreign to her own ears ,she wanted her parents to realise that she is not   going to budge on this and has decided they might not understand it right now but one day they will as it will be best for everybody.

the room was so silent that the only voice you could hear was of the ticking of the clock that hung on the wall of the room

"jabir are you listening to her ,this is absurd sara are you even listening to yourself. and what do you mean by your house sara this is your house sara have we ever made you feel any other way" said aneesa angrily

sara has never seen aneesa so angry   before   and immediately felt guilty but told herself to  stay strong even when her heart was thudding like crazy as if it was going to come out of her body

"My house as in the house in which i used live with kareem  .mom just trust me on this just let me move out please"said sara blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall.

but this time her father spoke calm as ever her father was totally oppsite of her mother while her mother was always who showed her emotions openly her father on the contrary rarely did "sara ,there must be some reason of doing this,just tell us dear you know we have supported you in your every decision pf yours but this time we can't ,how can we allow you to live alone "

"but,i won't be alone dad Kareem's parents will be living with me ,i have talked to them about this,and they are more than happy to do it" said sara trying to convince her parents that it was not such a bad idea.

"oh ,you have all planned it out then,what is the use of asking us also ,go ahead do what ever you want to do i don't think our opinion matters anymore ,i don't know about your father but i can't give you what you are asking for" said aneesa

sara knew now her mother was beyond angry and that is why sara didn't feel bad of the words she spoke as she knew it was out of anger

but as they heard the front door opening and samar entering the house her father said

"sara, its getting late we will talk in the morning ."

sara just hoped that their conversation in the morning goes better than it went just now and hopefully her parents will accept her decision .