friendzone • k.sj

forty

krista's pov

Somehow, it felt like a dream. I never thought that I'd bump into a person who's person by coincidence. Even if we know each other, it felt absolutely rare for us to have this silence we currently endure. Complexity is what the both of us had in the past; which lead the both of us to separation.

The chime started to make noise as costumers went inside this extravagant breakfast place. Neither of us talked― neither even started to eat. I'm pretty sure that the food would start to cool if we wouldn't start to take at least one bite of the food.

The weather felt cold as we felt the breeze of the air before going to this place. Well, I was about to go to the grocery store to cook breakfast for Jungkook and I since Jungkook would probably feel a severe headache; or in fact, a hangover.

I looked at Seokjin; somehow he managed to gawk at me. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked straight into his eyes so that he'd be alarmed that he's been staring at me for a while now. Unfortunately, his gaze didn't move to another direction and just looked at me. I felt uncomfortable and I fidgeted myself in my seat.

"Um,"—I cleared my throat— "Jin?"

He opened his mouth but any words didn't come out.

"Jin, I'm sorry but I really need to go now if you don't have anything to say. I still need to cook breakfast for Jungkook," I told him, looking very apologetically. I stood up but sadly, he didn't stop me from going away.

I barely understand a thing? I mean— why would he invite me to go somewhere and spend a lot of money for a plain pancake but won't say a single word? I'm clearly confused. I felt conscience on leaving him but I have the reason to leave— Jungkook needs breakfast.

The moment when I was about to open the door of the restaurant, thank God he finally called me.

"I— I am sorry for not speaking earlier but now I think I have to tell you everything. I really feel like I have a lot to say so please, Krista, give me at least ten minutes or so to tell you everything that has been kept in my heart for a long time," he panted, his plump lips chapped. 

I just nodded and we both went back to where we were sitting from earlier. As expected, we made a scene which caused the costumers to look at us since Jin blurted it out with his loud and clear voice. He's also a very famous model in this country so it's impossible if people wouldn't notice him.

The food was still untouched and I feel tempted to eat it already since I'm absolutely hungry. I looked at him, hoping that he could sense my starvation. I haven't eaten breakfast yet so asking him would kill nobody right?

"Uh— Jin, do you mind if I" —I pointed on the food— "I want to eat."

"Y—Yeah, sure," he cracked his voice as he told me that. I smiled at him and grabbed the knife and fork as I started to slice the pancake carefully. I munched on the food and appreciated at how delicious it tasted. It tasted better than the usual pancakes we cook in the house.

"I'm glad you're doing well, Krista," Jin started to speak which caused me to look at him, still munching the delicious piece of pancake. I hummed as a response and eventually drank water.

"I'm glad you're doing well," I emphasized his words. "I was more anxious about you, Jin. Where were you? You didn't explain anything to me, Jin. Time for explanation," I muttered, trying to just go with the flow. I wanted to be like the old times wherein we would joke around. Unfortunately, Jin wasn't cooperating with the flow.

"Blame your boyfriend," he chuckled coldly as he looked away. I furrowed my eyebrows. Well, wasn't it the truth? Jungkook was being overprotective to the point where he didn't want me to hang out with any other men.

"Sorry about that," I muttered, putting back the knife and fork on the plate. I fidgeted my fingers, licking my lips as I felt it becoming dry. Call me rude but I wanted to go back to Jungkook again. Yet I don't understand why I didn't feel any excitement when I finally saw Jin in real life. We're currently breathing the same air but it was just like a normal day for me, no extraordinary feels.

"N—No, I just— Ugh, fuck it. Can I get straight to the point already, Krista? If you don't mind," he heaved for a heavy sigh, clenching his hand beside my plate. Looking straight into his eyes started to make me feel nervous and shy but I felt the urge to gaze at him. His eyes were full of sincerity and emptiness. His eyes started to fill with tears. I felt shocked; never expected him to cry in front of me. I widened my eyes and held out his hand.

"Jin, hey—"

"Krista, I am in-love with you. I'm telling you this now because later, your boyfriend will have you again and there's a possibility that we might never bump again. At first, I was only trying to deny my feelings to you because I had a girlfriend back then but you— you, you can't stop from being this perfect for me. You literally crushed my feelings, Krista. I really thought I would have a chance on you— well yeah, I did. Unfortunately, I wasted it. I remember you confessing to me and I didn't understand why I didn't answer you back then.

"When I came back to California, I thought it would be my chance to make it up for you but this Jungkook-fucking-guy came into the scene and ruined everything. Do you even know the reason why I punched him on your birthday? It's because he said something that offended me. It hurt me when you chose to protect him over me. I mean— yeah, I punched him so I'm the bad guy.

"So yeah, you had a big impact on me, Krista. I became rebellious with myself when you already answered Jungkook. I purposely didn't tell you I am coming back to Korea because I blamed myself for everything. I was really mad at myself—"

I placed a finger on his mouth to shush him up and stood up. I dragged him up from his seat and ran outside. Jin kept on questioning me to where we're heading to but I didn't answer. My heart is clenching at the moment; I was too oblivious with his feelings.

I headed myself and Jin to a place where there are no people and is pretty dark. We're not noticeable so I thought that it would be safe it it would be the two of us.

I pushed Jin on the wall, not harshly, and softly punched his chest. Full of negative thoughts, I cried on his chest and punched him softly on his broad shoulder. He was also crying and I could feel his heart thumping fast.

We made eye-contact and I managed to smile sincerely. I started apologizing to myself but I realized that Jin really was my true love.

By surprise, I kissed him on the lips passionately, my eyes closed and clenching my hands to his shirt. I kissed him like this is my first and last kiss to him. This is a kiss that I was craving since the day I realized I was falling for him. A kiss for the person I love. A kiss for the person I also care for.

I slowly pulled back from the kiss and I loved how I felt no regrets. 

"Jin, you should have told me earlier. You were too late, Jin. I am in-love with you Jin—but I already have Jungkook. You know," —I suddenly felt my phone vibrate from my pocket; a sign that I had to go back to Jungkook with breakfast. "You know, we should get a new life and move on. Find a girl that would make you happy, Jin. You deserve a girl like that. Forget about me already, all right? I mean— don't be a stranger but you get what I mean? Forget about your feelings about me. I'll try to forget my feelings too. It's for the sake of the people around us."

I kissed him one last time and hugged him tightly.

"I love you, Jin. Smile always, okay?" I wiped away my tears as I started to walk back from him. I smiled as wide as I could and eventually ran away from that place.

It hurts.

author's note

last 3 chapters omg!! 

i already want to thank you guys in advance for sticking up with me and support me with this fan fiction! thank you for bearing with me with the slow updates and for encouraging me with everything. y'all my heroes