Chemo Therapy during 3rd Period

October 4

I had a super weird dream last night. Is was me and Carson at a wedding but we were the bride and groom. I was wearing this off white dress. It was a sweetheart neckline and had a drop waist and there were pockets. So cute. Carson wore this tux that looked amazing on him. For some strange reason we were getting married on this golf course, that is by a bowling alley. And the golf course hasn't been updated since it opened. Carson and I are talking before the wedding about how excited we are and how we can't believe this day is here. The football coach walks up to Carson and I and asks if we are ready. Apparently he is the officiant. Carson and I exchange glances and my heart melts. I think of about a year ago when we "hated each other" but really we just liked each other. Before he leaves me to walk down the isle Carson grabs my hand and gives me a peck on the cheek. My heart melts. I really like this guy. There's this weird part of my dream where I drop my keys and phone in the bathroom before heading down the isle and ya it's weird. As I walk down the isle. I see
Taylor
Kate
Kathy
Carson's family
Alyssa (my cousin)
It was so cute. Carson and i say our vows and as we are about to kiss. I am woken up by Kathy, telling me that it's time to go.
Dream Over.

I have to pick up Carson everyday. His parents won't let him drive. I arrive at his house and wait and wait. Finally I go to the door and his mom answers. She tells me she will take Carson today. I go to school. First period starts. No Carson. Halfway through, Carson walks in. I see the tear stains on his cheeks. I see that his eyes our red and his hair is going everywhere. When he is stressed or anxious he runs his fingers through his hair a lot. I don't ask. During 6th period he comes in when I am a TA for the football coach. And has a heart to heart with his coach. He thought I had music on but really it was off. He says how him and his mom go into this morning and last night. She is disappointed in him. She wants him to dump me because she doesn't want him dating. And his coach says "what do you want?"
He says this:
"Coach, I know I haven't been married or been dating for very long. But something about seeing Spencer hooked up to so many machines and watching her fight so hard has caused me to develop this strong feeling for her. I can only describe as love." Carson smiles and the coach looks over at me and I pretend to be working super hard. And the coach says
"Carson. You realize this now before you get to deep. She won't live forever. Don't lose your family for her. But don't lose her. I've watched you gain a skip in your step, speed on the field. All because of her. Because you want to impress her. I know the feeling you are experiencing. I had the same when I met my wife my junior year."

I'm not perfect. I would never want to be. But I think Carson and I are perfect for each other.