TOY

VIII

It was already midnight and Jaehyun still in a deep sleep. Well, I didn't know if sleep actually a good word to describe him because he collapsed right behind me and fainted afterward.

And it had been more than 5 hours he had been in the same pose except one thingㅡ without me under him.

Luckily, I can escape from been trapped under him for god know how long would it be. Maybe I would had myself fainted along with him.

But that won't be a good idea nor conclusion to the problem. Nu-uh.

Never ending one.

"Jae, wake up."

I shook his shoulder as gentle as I can and he got the same respond, which he wasn't fazed at all by my gesture. Sighing, I turned away for a moment.

I'm gradually falling into a deep santuary of my mind.

I barely noticed that I actually care like really care for Jaehyun, which I never had been too attach to stranger before as much as I did toward him.

The feeling of been attach to him was a mystery case. In fact, I just knew him for almost a day and at the same time, strangely, it felt like I had knew him for a long time. Like eternity.

However, it didn't make me stop from trying to know him better. And his relationship with Yuta.

"N-no."

I hastily snapped my head toward Jaehyun back. And damn, I regret doing that. My neck felt hurt.

I called him as I shook him by the shoulders again, again and repeated the action again. But all he did was, repeated the no's word.

It awakened my concern-instinct.

"Hey, wake-"

Before I can say more, I stopped as he suddenly sat up as straight as the ruler can be. His eyes bulged open as if he saw something that he scared of, shaking violently whilst it darted toward me.

Just the eyes, had already made me almost cursed right in front of his face but fortunatelyㅡ I didn't.

"I did it again..."

That was his first words after making me anxious out of waited and anticipated for him to wake up after the meeting with Yuta.

And without caring about his condition as on my feeling was overwhelmed, I did what all people would do. I slapped him at the shoulder. The angry slap.

"Oh gosh! What? What did you do again?!"

Out of control, it was my old feeling rushed back. It overflowed through my vein; that feeling whenever my parents left me at home with my brother before. My weakness. My flaw.

"You kept on telling me that but-"

I stopped. As the old memory came struck into my mind, I almost let a single tear fall from my eyes.

I loathed it whenever the memories strucked me like that.

To prevent Jaehyun seen me like this, the other side of me which I didn't want anybody to know or discoverㅡ I averted my face away from him.

I stand and turned toward my room as I said-

"I left a blanket for you near the couch incase the night will be too cold for you."

Hence, I can't barely moved my legs.

"J-just tell me tomorrow about all of it. You, Yuta and- Damn, forget what I had said!"

One step and I heavily falled into the darkness.

➿

Honestly, I thought it was just a dream. About the doll, the chain and himㅡ Jaehyun.

As soon I woke up, I was in my bed but not alone. Jaehyun was by the empty space beside me, hugging his long legs to his chest. Guiltiness wrote all over his face. I bet that was...my fault.

Cause he just woke up last night, and I did slap him on the shoulder out of emotion exploded. Plus, the angry emotion that had over control myself last night. The anxiety. Everything.

I want to blame everything right away.

But, I quietly pulled off the blanket that had cover me from the coldness instead as I sat up by his side and copied what he didㅡ hugged my legs to my chest.

"Hey, sorry about last night..."

Again, my words weren't meant to be full at all ever since I met him. Never. Every single times, it was cutted. And...he was the first person did it to me. I had always talked in smooth way but he had changed it. He had made me change the way I used to talk to whoever.

"Jae...?"

I didn't know what happened, but suddenly my posture change. He had engulfed me into a tight hug.

My eyes bulged upon his action.

"It should be me who say sorry not you, My La- Byul."

I frozed and confused. As much I wanted to get out of his hug, so desperately...but at the same time, desperately wanted to be in his warm hug that filled ofㅡ worriness.

That feeling I had missed after my parents and Baek had gone. Gone as it just some dust of memories flew off away easily if there was a strong wind blew it.

"Please, forgive me..."

I shook my head from getting the feeling took over my mind again. It was too early to show this side of me in front of Jaehyun, who I had been stuck together for almost a day and the one person that needed my help. Not the vice-versa. No.

But mainly, both of us had tried so hard for each other safety.

In my shoes, I didn't want him to know that I'm weak and currently got the past stuck within myself. While him, from my wild guess and not from the professional's, there was something had him turned to be...the unbelievable human-doll.

A sin. A very bad sin that had him been dragged down into the bad ending for ever.

"Jung Jaehyun..."

My voice was breaking but I nonchalantly shrugged it off and continued with my words.

The long arms that had engulfed me were slowly entangled my body and I knew, he felt uneasy when I said his full name.

"...that's your real name, right?"

A thin of pregnant silent hung in between our closed bodies and the air.

The truth was going to be reveal.

"Yes, it is. Jung was my family name. But starting from now, Jaehyun is it."

Without I knew, I was unconsciously holding my own breath as he gave me the lookㅡ the determined look.

He was willing to tell me the truth. The truth about him. He was ready but I didn't know if I'm ready for it. And even I'm not ready for it, I needed to be one for a moment. For the sake of Jaehyun and me, his fake-current girlfriend.

Apparently, I didn't know that I should be grateful or the other wise.

Because the story will be very dark, which it actually important for me to help him and him to help me.

"Sin. That was what had me being like this."

I just hit the right button. Sin always explained the weird situation. What else?

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