Fallback Girl : Days to Fall (Chat MD Series #3)

Day 42 : Indecision

Indecision
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Nang dumating ako sa kwarto ni Zig, wala pa sina Tita Ritz at Tito Tim. Nakangiwi si Zig habang may inaabot sana sa side table. I rushed and held his stretched hand.

"May injury ka, 'di ba?" naiinis na sabi ko. "Umayos ka ng higa."

Napatingin siya sa'kin. Bahagyang ngumiti.

"You're here."

Napabuga ako ng hangin. Tahimik ko siyang inalalayan para bumalik sa pagkakahiga niya. Nakausap ko na ang doktor na tumingin sa kanya bago pa ako pumasok sa kwarto. I was told na bugbog ang lower back niya kaya hindi siya dapat na magkikilos bigla. May brace siya sa bandang tuhod dahil daw sa ligament tearing. Hindi naman daw seryoso but it needs caution para hindi lumala. May pasa at cuts din siya sa mukha dahil sa airbag.

"Hindi ka kasi sumasagot no'ng tinatawagan ka ng ospital," dagdag niya pa nang maupo na 'ko sa katabing upuan ng kama.

"It's two in the morning, Zig. Hindi ako basta magigising." But I was lying. When it comes to him, I always answer the phone. "At ano'ng inaabot mo sa mesa?"

Nakatitig siya sa'kin sa paraang naiilang ako. I haven't seen him in a while and seeing him like this made it harder to be mad. I wanted to be mad.

" 'Yung phone sana. Para tawagan ka."

We fell silent after his words. Nakatingin siya sa'kin habang nakababa ang mata ko sa cellphone ko sa kandungan ko.

The phone was silent. Busy pa rin siguro si JT. I wondered kung nagkita na sila ni Harry para sa ibinigay kong kape.

"Are you waiting for someone?" untag ni Zig.

"Ikaw? May hinihintay ka? May darating pa bang iba bukod sa'kin?" angil ko.

"No one, Hannah."

Hindi ako kumibo. I wished na dumating na sina Tita at Tito para lang maging mas madali ang makipag-usap sa kanya. I don't want us to talk about us. Not when he was like this.

"You're still mad," sabi niya.

Obviously. I couldn't just forget about that cheap girl who went to my workplace.

"I'm sorry, Hannah."

Nagtaas ako ng mukha para sana singhalan si Zig. But I was taken aback with his eyes. He looked... in pain.

He is a liar but I know when he is serious about something. And this apology, is his best.

"I'm really sorry."

Pinaglapat ko ang mga labi ko.

"I'm sorry that I'm no good at apologizing, too. I sincerely don't know what to do to appease you."

Nagbuga ako ng hangin.

"Hindi mo talaga alam dahil hindi pa tayo umabot sa ganito dati. Dati... itinatago ko lang kung ano ang alam ko. I just acted like a fool to deceive myself that we were okay." Tumitig ako sa kanya. "We're not okay, Zig."

"I know. I also know that it's my fault."

"Really? What is your fault?" hamon ko sa kanya.

Ibinaba niya ang paningin niya. "I played around."

His confession mummed me.

"I lied to you."

Nangunot ang noo ko and for an instant, I wanted to slap him. But I couldn't move.

"I neglected you."

Itinaas niya ang mata niya sa'kin. He is really apologizing this time.

"I know that no flowers can fix it. No date can compensate for it. I know that there's nothing I could do to take back every mistake I have made.