PROFOUND SINS

Move on

Sometimes I find myself wondering, should we give in to love so much that we forget we're no longer alive?
Or like, how long should we hang on to a string that does nothing but slice our fingers?

I've pondered over this thought more than necessary and ended up sinfully frustrated. How half-baked we honestly are to perceive concepts in our mind the way we want them to be, being ignorant of the reality of how they really are.
Why do that?

Life is so much more than that stupid yet beautiful girl you fell for. Yes, I might not understand your situation, all that pain and hardship you face everyday trying not to love her any further, trying not to miss her everytime she cascades a shadow in your life. You say you've tried harder but its all in vain because every other night you end up drinking and talking about her.
It's okay, that's the beginning and you're healing which although is a very slow process but it'll eventually grow inside you like a part of yourself.

Last night you dreamt of her, about how you were both in each other's arms and then the other minute, you didn't belong to each other. You wanted to make amends but darling it was never meant to be. So, don't panic when she haunts your dreams,  they're mere memories, don't confuse them with your present. Rather keep her safe there, in your memory. Just there. Keep me in your memory because that's where I belong.  That's where she belongs.

You don't always end up together with whom you want to, and there are innumerable reasons for it deducting that you didn't wanted to.

You do get to control your life but not others, so if she's not in love with you, let her go and by letting go, I don't just mean stop contacting her but mostly let her move out from your heart to be a part of the memory stack, maybe a special folder just for her but you got to stop keeping her in your heart.

Do your life better you were doing before she smiled at you and you fell for her.
She might not love you but sure she wants you to stop treating your life like it's nothing, be a man she'd tell her daughter about, of how that strong guy she sees across the street, who's sitting in a park giving orders to his company's manager over the call while he watches his son slide down the swing, shared some decent memories with her.

Stop hanging on to the thought of what you could've become rather replace those thorns with flowers, don't let the pain grow inside you and Don't you adapt to it. Don't you dare say you're not strong enough to do it, that you can never move on. Don't say you're stuck on a page and you can't turn. Rather show her you're a man who's doing better even after a heartbreak.

It's life after all, it's not all roses and butterflies, it's weeds and beasts too. Treat it equally, don't hate her, don't love her, find a balance and don't forget to breathe.

When you miss her, don't get yourself drunk rather talk to someone about their life, read a good book, dance it away or maybe just miss her without getting drunk so you know when you wake up tomorrow morning without a hungover, you are doing better.
It's just a heartbreak, people fall in and out of love all time, that's how it is supposed to work, so stop hanging onto it.

There is more meaning to the sorrow, the life of a 13 year old son of a martyr. Or take, a husband who found his wife cheating on him for past years. See them then and see them now, when they have moved out of misfortune. They dealt with it.

Think, how all those people in this universe might have felt when they lost what they lived for and still fought out of it courageously rather taking it as the end of the world. That guy could do, so can you, we're all made of the same soul, a small part of each other. He can, so can you.

You've made yourself addicted to her thoughts. She's like a movie in your system, you might play it on repeat and hear her sound all you want but do not let her become the only movie. Get out of the addiction and play that new DVD, it might be better.

Life is always tough, you think yours is the hardest, fair enough, you're the hero of the your script and according to the rules, hero is always right, so now does the hero stops living when the girl in his life moves away and never comes back? Nah. Not really, he just deals with a heartbreak and carries on for he's the hero after all.

Deal with it, it's life, it's how you make it only till you don't lose courage otherwise you'll become someone life makes.