Safe

The List, So Far

My life so far:

>I had the most amazing person in the world and because of my stupid swear to never fall in love too quickly, I lost her.

 >My brother told me that he sold drugs before and sense, has never said a word about it to me 

>I moved to a tiny town where literally nothing happens

>In the tiny town I found my best friend, Scarlet.

>I haven't eaten for 24 hours which is my new record. I ate an apple. Stupid apple.

>I think I'm gay but maybe bisexual.

>I think about Ruby everyday.

>This is my last year of high school and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life after this.

>I put in applications for 3 collages, but I'd rather take a year off. 

>I think my dad has a girlfriend? ? ?

It's easy to think about my life as a list. A list of things that have happened. Of course that list is very short and only includes 11th grade and up. I could go much father back. I like looking at what's happened to me. It's easy to be sad and unhappy when you have a list of reasons why. 

Scarlet is turning 18 this winter. She wants to go get a tattoo. Her mom said no, her response was, 'once it's done, you can't undo it. so.' 

I had a dream about Ruby.
I want to see her. I want to feel her. I want to love her.