Chapter 11- Is this the end?

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Hey guys. I know, this chapter is extremely short. I intended for it to be a bit longer but i couldn't think of anything so let's just say this is a filler chapter for now. Let's hope the next chapter will be longer. Sorry! :)

It has been a few days since the war and since I have seen Thranduil. Messengers from Mirkwood keep coming back and forth with letters but I send them away. I keep the letters from Thranduil but I never read them.

I have closed myself off from everyone, letting Kellorin and then others take care of things for me. I feel my energy very slowly dying every day. And the pain in my heart is growing still. This pain somehow feels familiar though. It is like the pain I felt when I found out my father hurt my mother and when I lost both of them to the orcs.

Broken is what I feel. I feel broken. First it was family that broke me and now, it is love. How did I let myself be so open to someone who didn't trust me with important information and I had to find it out the hard way. Why me? Why am I the one feeling broken all the time?

Why can't someone else feel my own pain and I can be happy? My life has always been broken, and I have never really felt happy. I have somehow always felt alone. But with Thranduil I never did feel alone. Thranduil, his name brings me pain. Every time someone mentions him, I can't stand it. It's like he is everywhere but with me.

It was my choice to leave him, thinking it would be better for the both of us but I guess I was wrong. But I cannot go back now, I cannot risk my heart to be broken anymore. But why should I continue living like this? Being all sad and depressed, miserable. I should be living my life like all the others. They all have a family, they have someone that loves them. They have friends who take care of them.

Then there's me. I have no family. I have no love. I have no friends. I am all alone in this broken home. When will this pain end? When I will feel happy and live the fantasy I have always created for myself when I was younger. The fantasy where I am happy and full of joy. I rule the kingdom with greatness and everyone is happy. But I know that my fantasy won't come true. Dreams never come true. They are just creations of your imagination.


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