Say Goodbye

15

Just as I was about to take a seat at the table the knocking on the door drew my attention, my first thoughts went to Callum but he was killed by Brian and officially announced dead. Sighing, I made my way to the entrance of the house, peeking through the blind, I saw Nixon's towering figure on the other side.

Since our fight in his gym I hadn't seen him for weeks, I had assumed that he took my words to heart and no longer wanted the obligation of looking out for a person who wasn't his responsibility. I couldn't very well blame him for his words, not anymore, since they were very true.

Opening the door, I stared at him for a while, waiting for him to speak.

"Little one" he breathed, the nickname he'd given me caused me to raise my brows, I'd secretly liked it but never would I have admitted it out loud. "Can I come in?"

Nodding I stepped out of the way and ushered Nixon inside. When he crossed the threshold he stopped in front of me, I could feel the heat from his body and the spicy cologne he wore tickled my nostrils. I closed the door before folding my arms across my chest, I didn't know why, but somehow I wanted to protect myself.

"How have you been little one?" he asked, that was another thing, Nixon had seemed to stop the person that was following me around school every day. The weekend after our big blow up I no longer felt the presence of the person who was watching me.

"I've been...okay..." I couldn't lie and say I was good and happy, I was surviving. After my father's death anniversary when I had taken my pent up emotions out on my bedroom, I had done some thinking.

"Just okay?" Nixon eyed me suspiciously.

I shrugged, "Just okay. Why are you here Nixon?"

He took a step closer to me, reaching out he took my hands in his then lead me to the living room. We sat on the sofa with Nixon rubbing his thumbs back and forth over my knuckles; the expression on his face was one of pain and enough to distract me from the sparks running up my arms.

"What I said to you, at the gym...little one, I am so sorry. I was out of line and I shouldn't have brought up your father when you're still in a fragile state over his death" Nixon's grip tightened. I frowned looking at him, is that why he didn't check on me? Because he was beating himself up over what he had said?

"Nixon, you don't have to apologize to me. You were right."

His eyes widened as they darted to mine "what?"

"You were right" I repeated "my father, he was everything to me. He had joined the navy when I was five, growing up he wasn't a constant fixture that I could go to. His absence only made me crave for him to be there more like every child who's had a parent that's enlisted. I worried for his safety every day and I was proud of what he was doing, he was and still is my hero. I looked forward to the web chats and the letters and the days when he'd return but I never thought that he'd actually come back home dead."

My hands were shaking, Nixon's warmth calmed me a bit but not enough, I was in a recovery process and for the first time I was saying things that I needed to aloud.

"He would've been ashamed of the way I behaved after his death" I continued "I was a party away from being one of those unconscious girls who men took advantage of."

Nixon growled lowly, his eyes turned a deep gold and his grip once again tightened.

"Thanks for saving me from Brian, I really owe you" I grinned, Nixon scowled at me, "you don't owe me anything little one. I would save you hundred times over no questions asked."

I nodded, "I probably mean something important to you don't I?" as he was about to say something I shook my head "whatever you are, I'd like to find out. I want to know everything there is to about you...but as of right now, I can't be what you want me to be. Sometime in the future when I get myself together and know where my head's at I want you to tell me." He to me was what partying and drinking was, his presence was a distraction from what I refused to face, he unknowingly was a wall blocking my pain and I didn't want him to be that. I cared for Nixon, deep inside I knew it was wrong if I didn't put a stop to it, I wanted him to be something other than an object to divert my attention.

Nixon sighed before nodding his head "I've wanted to find you for the longest time and when I did, you weren't at all what I had expected you to be. I wasn't disappointed but I wasn't happy about what you were doing to yourself either. You're a strong girl Victoria, one day you'll be a strong woman and then I'll come for you, so you better be ready then little one." He leaned over, placing his lips on my forehead, leaving a lingering kiss before he stood.

I held his hand for as long as the walk to the door would allow us, and when he finally slipped through the door, hope had bloomed in my chest that we'd once again be reunited.

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Our girl has finally snapped out of her downward spiral! 👏👏 Props to the strong female taking the first steps to getting herself together. It was heartbreaking reading as she went through the motions of her grief huh? Well now that Victoria is beginning the healing process you'll see in upcoming chapters how well (or bad) it goes for her.

Even though I'm the author of this masterpiece, I can't help but feel proud of my characters, they're like my babies! Nixon is what I imagine as the ideal man for Victoria 😍(and maybe for some of you out there😉). Let me know what you guys think of our main girl's speech.

Quote of the day: The darkest nights produce the brightest stars.

A little something for any of you all who are going through a hard time to keep your head held high. 

Thanks for reading. 💕

See you next time 💋

- xoxo T