Say Goodbye

6

I sat waiting at the back of the cozy café for Jay to arrive, the smell of freshly baked bread and sweets wafted in the air. It was just past eight and I was expecting Uncle Jay any minute, I slumped in my seat as I continued to sip at my hot chocolate.

The papers of acceptance letters were scattered on the table, looking at them I didn't feel the excitement I once had when I had received them. Memories surfaced causing me to swallow hard.

I hit the answer button; the screen opened revealing my father on the other side of it. "Hey there baby girl!" he grinned widely. My face had instantly split into a grin, like always my father's happiness was contagious.

"Hi pops! How's everything?"

"Same as usual baby girl how's everything on your end?"

"Mom's found a new project and she's talking about making it into somethin' big...pretty much the same...guess what?" I could no longer contain my excitement.

"Don't leave me in suspense Tori" he chuckled, his hazel eyes glimmering with amusement.

"I got accepted to four colleges! I'm still waiting on the other two but I don't really mind, I got into the one I really wanted!"

Dad yelled in joy gathering the attention of his crew mates around "I am so proud of you baby girl, I know how much you wanted this, have you told your mother?"

"Not yet, I wanted to tell you first. Just think daddy, in just a few months you'll be home to be there on my first day of college" I beamed, my father had been in the navy for twelve years and after all that time he was finally coming home for good. I had screamed and cried when I had heard the news, it was a dream come true for a girl whose daddy was away for most of her life.

"My college girl."

We had talked until our time was up and like every other time dad said the exact same words, "see you soon baby girl, I love you, tell Sharon I love her too."

"See you soon dad, we love you too."

At that time, there was no doubt in my mind that I would see him again, but a week or two after our conversation men in uniforms had arrived at our doorstep and delivered a letter that no family had wanted to receive, when my father did return to us, it was not at all what my mother and I had expected.

We had expected him shouting for us with a megawatt smile across his face, not a box with the flag of the country he served with him inside. That day I remembered I had stood stiff as a board, everything within me had denied that what was happening was real; I had denied it and ran.

The day that was set for him to return home, I had went to the airport, I had woken up at the crack of dawn and driven myself there holding onto the words "see you soon, baby girl" but the day had dragged on and when night fell reality had set in for me and I could no longer deny what had happened. I had bawled my eyes out the minute I had gotten back into the house, my mother had tried to console me but I heard nothing she had said, my cries went on through the night and had stopped sometime in between the early morning but the pain hadn't.

Sitting there at the table I wiped a stray tear that fell, taking in a shaky breath I tried hard not to let sorrow consume me.

"Tori?"

My head shot up at the sound of my name, standing in front of me at six foot one in t-shirt and jeans was none other than Jay.

I stood, and walked into his opened arms, "that's my ladybug, I've miss you" he sighed kissing my head.

"Me too Uncle Jay, you look good, never mind the few extra pounds" I joked as I patted his side.

He chuckled pulling away from me, "Thanks, I'll take your word for it" he looked behind me before looking around. Between his brows creased as he looked back at me "where's Sharon?"

I took a step away from him and shook my head "she didn't want to come, she wants to be with Mark and start a family so I left her...she's probably back already" I mumbled.

"And she just let you go?!" Jay snapped; he wasn't at all pleased about hearing my mother had gone back to her husband and his weird friends.

"It's fine, Uncle Jay...can I still stay with you?"

"Of course, ladybug, you're always welcomed. Is this all of your things?" he questioned, eyeing my duffle.

"Yea, I only took what I needed, I still have my inheritance money so I'll buy new clothes when we get to your place." I said as I quickly packed my stuff up, as I turned back to Jay he took the duffle from me and grabbed my hand pulling me out of the café.

Within a couple of hours we were on our flight back to my original hometown, as I stared out the window of the plane, all I could see was blue sky and white clouds. Somehow it was serene staring out at nothing, closing my eyes I sat back in my seat hoping that someday soon my suffering would end.

For now, all I could tell myself was that I would be able to pull through this, I allowed myself to believe that I could do it.