Worlds Apart

1. Always

Then

Kyungsoo

I was flung up against the wall, his hands were invading places they shouldn't be.
I was already out of breath.
"Kris! Get off me!" I growled at him, shoving his hands away when I could.
"Why baby? I'm just getting used to you, we are going to be together for life, aren't we?" He laughed, stroking my face.
I slapped his hand away, heaving deeply.
"We most certainly are not. You better leave before my boyfriend-"
"Ha, your boyfriend. Do you know who I am? I can have anyone I want. I just tell my parents who I want to be my uke, and then it's done. That easy," he said while smiling evily.

It was my turn to laugh.

"You must be dense. Do you know who he is? He's the son of the Leader of New Seoul, Kai can have whoever he wants. Without having to throw a bunch of money at the evaluators. And he wants me. So go take your money to someone who wants it," I finished coolly, smiling triumphantly.
He slid his eyes over my body, taking in every inch with his beady, lustful eyes. I shivered in spite of myself.

My hand traveled to my back pocket, feeling around for my inhaler. A wave of dread rolled through me when I realised I had left it in my POD.

"God, you don't know how much I want to bend you over a desk and slam into you," he hissed into my ear.
"Oh trust me. I know. But I'm also not letting an inch of your privileged dick near my ass, so go fuck yourself. Literally," I snarled back at him, leaving a teasing smile on my face.
He slammed me against the wall, harder this time. To provoke fear or something? I coughed a little from the pressure he was putting on my chest. I don't know, I'm not intimidated by him.
Ok, maybe a little, but Kai usually comes in time.
Today wasn't an exception.
"What the fuck is going on here?" Kai said. Finally.
"Oh thank god, you're here. This giant idiot was harassing me again," I complained, keeping my voice calm and collected so I could save my breath, while in reality I was about to start screaming for help.
I don't show fear in front of anyone. Except for Kai.

Most people see me as weak, and even though I haven't been evaluated yet, I'll probably be an uke. But that's ok. As long as I'm with Kai.
However, I refuse to be seen as just that, Kai's uke. Being the future pair of such a prestigious person comes with a lot of responsibility. Not just churning out kids.

Kai strode over to Kris and harshly slapped his hands off of me and shoved him away.
"I thought I told you to stay away from him," Kai said lowly, staring up at Kris with hate in his eyes.
"Look pretty boy, I don't care who your daddy is. Fact is, you're weaker than me and always will be and we all know you'll be bending over for someone soon, so you might as well give him up," Kris sneered as he stared down at Kai from his 6'2 standpoint.
"You can fucking shove it up your ass. If you even look at Kyungsoo again, I will make your life a living hell. Say what you want, having my daddy around sure does make things easier for me, especially taking down rich little boys like yourself," Kai hissed, all of his bravado was gone, replaced by pure anger.

I knew Kris had struck a nerve. Kai has always been a bit sensitive about his size. But everyone knows us, they know that it's me and Kai. And that's how it's going to be. The spot for Co-Leader of New Seoul has already been secured.

"I don't have time for pieces of shit like you," Kai said with a turn of his head as he gently took my arm, pressing me into his side.

He led me away from the scene. I was trying to keep it together until we were out of sight.
Kai turned us into an empty classroom.
I turned, sobbing and heaving into his chest as soon as he shut the door.
"Ssh, it's okay. He won't touch you again. Breathe, ok? Just breathe. In and out. Inhale, exhale. Soo, where's your inhaler? Don't worry, I've got your extra," he said gently, while digging around in his backpack.

He started carrying around my extra one since the day we went out hiking up Mt. Solju. I started having respiratory attacks and I didn't have my inhaler on me. I remember honestly thinking I wasn't going to live past that day.
It's really scary, not being able to breathe. It's like you're underwater, but you're not. So it's not like once you break the surface, you can breathe again. It's like living in a world where air is something you only hear about in fairy tales.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there sooner. Don't worry, soon we won't have to worry about any of this," Kai soothed, rubbing my back.
I just heaved and sobbed, barely able to catch my breath. Kai eased me down to the ground. He lifted the inhaler to my mouth and held it there. He sat against the wall and pulled me into his lap.
"I'm just so scared that we're not-"
"No, it's gonna be fine. Okay? Stop talking and breathe, ok?" He said, bringing the inhaler back to my face. "We're gonna be together. I just tell my dad I want to be paired with you and then he notifies the evaluators in our sector and it's done. In fact, he'll be happy I have someone in mind because you're going to be the Co-Leader. I can't just be paired with anyone," he reassured me.
I calmed down a bit.

It was the unspoken trouble between us. We would never talk about it explicitly, never quite face it head on.
Kai was afraid that he would become an uke, and quite frankly, I was too. But he would never say that out loud. I try to refrain from saying anything as well. It eats away at me everyday. I know it's bothering him too, but like I said, we don't talk about it.

Now

Kai

I stared at the words on the sheet of paper in front of me.
Congratulations! It said.
This is your first step in becoming an uke....

I stopped reading after that word. The word that brought my whole world crashing down.
How was I supposed to tell Kyungsoo. How was I supposed to tell my dad. He's going to be so disappointed, they're going to be disappointed.

Kyungsoo was crying almost the whole day before my evaluation, and now his, our worst nightmare has become reality. I was about to start screaming right there in the lobby. I was supposed to wait for the doctor who would go over the procedure for childbearing with me.
Like I'm waiting around for that shit. They can't do this to me.
I stood up abruptly and threw all the papers in my hand to the floor and stormed out.

Within five minutes, I found myself standing on the roof staring out across New Seoul. I looked down at the ground.
It would be fast. Painless. But I can't do that to Kyungsoo, he would need some kind of closure. It's not like I could actually bring myself to jump anyway.
I backed away from the edge before I got any ideas. I sat down on the pavement and pulled out my COM with trembling hands.

"Kyungsoo baby, we need to talk."

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Um so yeah, there's the first chapter. I'm still working on my Chanbaek fic.
Might be a while. But the next chapters up!
- 박현서 ❤