Broken Until Him

Chapter 20 ~ Control

'I used to have a perfect control over myself. My emotions were something I could hide so nobody knew what was tearing me apart.

But things happened, and everything I had under control became incontrollable.

My life was planned. I had prepared every single detail of it, from the college I would enroll in, to the age I wanted to get married.

But we can't have control over everything. Because life is full of unpredicted events that will turn it upside down.

So I let go, I let everything go the way it wants to go and I learn how to deal with it.

We can't have control over destiny, because destiny controls our life. Who can claim to know what will happen tomorrow ?'

I'm sitting here since I can't remember. All of my thoughts are jumbled together, none of them make sense. But I don't even try to think straight.

The sun has risen up now, I can see it enlightening the room through the window of the hospital room. The sun is high in the sky, spreading sunbeams everywhere.

I know my parents came here, but I didn't talk to them. Not that I was asleep, I haven't closed my eyes since Nathan left. I just didn't want to. Because I would have been obligated to tell them why Hannah is here. To tell them that I'm the one to blame for this.

But I just want to keep it secret a little longer, just a few more hours before they change their vision of me.

The phone vibrates for the fifth time in two hours. All those calls are from Nathan, but I don't bother picking up. I don't have anything to say to him, or to anybody. I glance at the phone when the screen lights up again, indicating that I've received a text.

I read this text, like I did with the twelve texts I received earlier. I expect the same threat Nathan sent for an hour, saying that if I don't call him back he will come here to check up on me. But this text is different, there is no threat.

Nathan : I'm on my way.

I put the phone back on the table and take Hannah's hand.

"I'm sorry," I whisper as the door opens slowly.

My mother enters and closes the door behind her. As soon as our gaze meet, I turn my head and stare at the window.

"Jade, look at me," my mother pleads as she takes a sit on the other side of the bed.

I gather all the strength I have left and shift my eyes to look at her face. She looks tired with the bags under her eyes, and her fair skin.

"Honey, you should get back home. Your father and I will wait here until Hannah's mother arrives. Her plane should land in four hours, so go and get some sleep," she says in a gentle tone.

My eyes shift back to Hannah and I grip her hand harder.

"She's fine," my Mom reassures me. "I'll stay wi-" she starts but a soft knock interrupts her.

I immediately recognize his light brown hair and my heart starts to beat faster and louder. I can see my mother looking at me and a little smile forms at the corner of her lips. I instantly release a breath I didn't know I was holding and I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"Hello, Mrs. Levinson," Nathan awkwardly breaks the silence, his hand buried in his pocket.

"Hello Nathan," my mother replies, her smile never fading.

I stare at the both of them in shock, and my voice seems to have reappeared.

"Y-you know each other ?" I ask with a croaky voice.