Broken Until Him

Chapter 5 ~ Lies

'I lie. That's something I do every day. I became the master in the art of lying. I lie to my friends and my family because I don't want to hurt them any more than they already are, so I do it to prevent more pain. It's a blessing in disguise. At least, I believe it is!

If you would have asked me to lie a few months ago, I'd have told you it was impossible. Not that I didn't want to, it's just that I wasn't credible. Telling a lie used to make me smile. I couldn't keep a straight face but I improved.

Now lying comes to me as second nature. And today, I'm not only lying to my friends and family, but I'm also lying to myself by thinking that one day, I will get over this.'

As I unlock the front door of my house, a car pulls into the driveway.
My mother greets me as she steps out of her red Honda.

"Hi honey, how was your first day ?" She asks, smiling.

Oh well, like any other first day in a school full of people you don't know. You can then add a verbal assault from an unknown along with a panic attack... Such a good day!

"Good! I made new friends," I answer, trying to sound enthusiastic.

I have no other choice but to lie to her. Telling my mother what happened today would kill her. She has gone through a lot like me and now after so many years, she has finally started smiling again and I don't want to cause her any more pain.

She seems satisfied with my answer, coming closer to me so that she can give me a quick hug. I hug her back, smelling her perfume; the one she has always worn and watch her as she opens the door and enters the house.

Her white blouse is tucked into her black skirt, which reaches below her knees. Her high heeled shoes are far too high for a normal working person to be able to walk in but she manages to do it and I have never seen her fall. My mother has the same hair as mine, brown and curly. But hers are shorter, barely reaching her shoulders. Her makeup is perfectly done, bringing out her hazel eyes.

She has to be perfectly dressed and presentable for her job as an architect.

"How was your day at the office ?" I ask her.

We are now standing in the kitchen, leaning against the central island, while she reaches into the fridge and takes out a bottle of orange juice.

"Exhausting! I worked on the same house plan the whole day and I'm pretty sure I will work on it the whole week. Those clients are very demanding," she says, yawning.

I nod, knowing that because of her job, she will come home late tomorrow and every other day. Today was her first day in her new office; they must have told her to come back home early.

"When will dad be home ?"

"I don't know honey, he has a lot of work. I don't think he will be here for dinner," she replies, sounding annoyed.

I smile at her, not wanting to show that I am disappointed.

"Like every other night," I mutter while turning around and heading upstairs.

My room is quite cozy, even though I have only unpacked half my cardboard boxes while the other half still needing my attention.

I throw myself onto my bed, take my cell phone and earphones from the back pocket of my jeans and put them into my ears. Searching for the music from amongst my playlists, when I finally find one that suits my mood, I hit 'play', shutting my eyes.

I think about what happened today. After the glacial glance I had received from Aaron, I quickly rushed to class. I would have never thought my first day at this school could have gone that wrong. This new life is hard enough for me to accept and I don't need any more pain. I must- no, I need to stay away from Aaron. For my own sake as well as my family and friends. The mess I am can only get worse with him around me. But thankfully, I never saw Aaron or Nathan for the rest of the day.

I'm lost in my thoughts when my phone goes off. Without bothering to look at the name, I take the call.

"Hello ?"

"Jade! I'm so happy to hear from you! How are you ?" Her voice brings back so many memories of us.

"Oh, Hannah! I miss you so much, I wish you could be here with me! Today was okay... It's just... It's hard and I don't know what to do to feel better," I say, my voice breaking at the end.

"I know, Jade. I know. It's hard for all of us. We will get through this together, it will take time but it will get a little bit easier every day. I promise."

I can hear her sobbing as she tries to contain her tears.

Hannah is one of my closest friends. She has always been there for me. Especially two months ago, after the incident- she was there when it happened. She was the first one to comfort me and I tried my hardest to comfort her as well but failed. A person as messed up as I am cannot comfort another person.

"Jade ?" Hannah asks, her throat still tight from the emotion.

"Yes ?"

"Tell me about your day."

So I tell her all of it, from my walk to the secretary's office to the way back home. I just leave out some details, like what Aaron told me and my little breakdown. I just don't want her to worry about me, she doesn't need it right now.

"And how was yours ?" I try to sound animated and interested.

"Well, like every other day. Oh ! You'll never guess who ca..." she starts, but I have already stopped listening.

My eyes are focused on one of the cardboard boxes, the one that contains my books. I rise from my bed and walk towards the box, my phone still pressed against my heart. I open it and stare at our favorite book. The cover is worn out from the numerous times I read it. As I take the book and read the title "Pride and Prejudice", a folded paper escapes from it. I bend down to pick it up and read the single word written on it as a heading.

Jade

My hands start shaking and my phone falls onto the carpet. The thin cursive letters are perfectly written, even though I can see they are a bit shaky at the end. But I could recognize her handwriting even amongst a dozen similar ones.

Hashley.