THINK ABOUT YOU / G-EAZY

29.

"Is that what you want?" He spoke after what felt like endless minutes of just staring at me with this unreadable sight. For some reason when he answered that question that I asked I wish I hadn't ask it. Because I didn't know how to answer his.

"We're always having the same conversation, it pisses me of." I said sounding more like a sad child than the adult I should be about this.

"You're the one that's always going back."

"Because you keep on pushing me to things I don't want." We were talking calmly, no shouting or screaming or anyone sounding angry.

"How can you not want all of that? I don't fucking get why you don't want me." He sniffled almost, his hand in which he held the cigarette but he wasn't crying I knew him well enough to know that there were a hundred things he would do before he would cry. And he probably that the same it was the same for me.

"I can't have you, that's the thing." We were still talking again, like this was the most light hearted conversation two people can have.

"How can you not have me by now? I'm so fucking consumed by you." Another drag from his cigarette and he threw it to the floor.

"Don't say things like that."

"But that's what it is, Lola." His voice was louder, more aggressive.

"Please don't..." I almost begged him not to say what I wanted to hear so badly.

"You're all I fucking want right now." I looked at him, eyebrows together, my forehead in wrinkles. "Fuck don't look at me like that, you've known it all along." Like he was mad at himself for feeling that way he wouldn't look at me biting his lip furrowing his eyebrows in anger.

"Gerald..." But before I could talk he interrupted.

"Just tell me one time that you want me too." His whole appearance changed back to monotone, no begging just a monotone voice. He was laughing almost.

"I'm going to fuck this up."

"You can't fuck anything up here."

"Gerald..." I said again.

"If you're not telling me that I don't want to hear another word from your mouth." He said pushing himself from the wall walking inside the club again leaving me there. The wall I leaned against suddenly felt cold and I actually missed his eyes on me. Leaving me speechless yet again and before thinking my legs were carrying me back into the building spotting him right away and he spotted me. Over the crowd of people dancing, shouting, kissing each other our eyes locked. Just like a million times before but different. I was staring, he was staring. Staring at this man that felt so close to me no matter how far he was. And I knew I didn't see the things that I admired at that moment because he was too far away. But I knew exactly how his eyelashes surrounded his deep brown eyes perfectly. I knew how he probably let his left thumb gaze over his other fingers because he did that all the time. His lips slightly opening creating the tiniest sign of dimples as he drank from his whiskey glass that he held with his right hand. For some reason I admired the glass that was touching his lips because I knew how good that felt. Admiring how the glass left his lips and they would meet again. I smiled at him. And he probably raised the corner of his lips but reminded himself that he was mad at me. So I was just staring. Continued staring at him. He looked down at his feet seconds later back up staring back. In that second I pointed at him and waved him to me. He shook his head, now I knew he was grinning so I did it again not letting his eyes leave mine. He put his glass down on the bar and walked towards me through the crowd.

"I got the feeling you were staring at me." He said loudly. Putting my finger to my lips he furrowed his eyebrows. My hand found the back of his neck pulling him towards me grinning at him. And I saw that he did the same suddenly and when my lips met his I could feel it. And fuck, how perfect they fit on mine. His hands gliding down my body pulling my hips towards his until they met too. My hands digging into his skin. And I didn't care about whoever he kissed or fucked or whatever before right now this felt like this was all mine and it felt impossible that he could think of someone else right now. There was no space for anything between us this time.