Roman, I Love You

The Bloody Honeymoon Phase

Content/trigger warning: self harm. Much love to you all and I hope you are all doing okay <3 - Lyse

11

When I awoke the next day the immediate captor of my attention was the soreness that was spread between my thighs. It was expected; Avery had warned me. The next thing was the warmth, which seemed to be around much more lately. I was lying with my head on his chest and my arm draped over his torso and our legs were in a tangle. I could feel my own nakedness and the insecurity coming with it.

Last night he had tried to ease my mind, but there was no use now. My eyes opened to sun peeking through my windows and the only other sound was his soft, but deep breaths that told me he was asleep. I shifted cautiously and then slowly removed my hand from his stomach. I was not even halfway across before his hand shot out and gripped my wrist, holding it in place.

"Where are you going?" His sleepy voice graveled.

"I was going to put on some clothes," I looked up at him, but his eyes were still closed.

"Why?" He finally peeked open his eye, "There's no need."

I bit on my lips trying to think of a way out of this that did not involve him pushing me out of my comfort zone so that I would "grow."

"Roman," I murmured.

I heard him yawn and stretch then he turned his attention on me once more. He curled his arm around me pulling me into his chest and leaned over my face. While I gazed into his deep sea eyes he reached up and stroked my cheek.

"Why are you being so shy?" He whispered. "I've seen, kissed, tasted every inch of your body. There is nothing to hide."

I averted my eyes feeling heat in my cheeks and hoping that he could not feel it under his fingers. He made a frustrated noise then ducked down and pressed a kiss to the base of my jaw. The fingers previously on my cheek were now tilting my head back.

"Scarlett Summer," he said into my ear, "sometimes you are the most infuriating person I have ever met."

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"God, why are you apologizing? It is me who should be sorry for all of the unspeakable thoughts in my mind pertaining to you. You know I was not kidding when I said I was a dominating person. I know you've experienced it first-hand. I'm too rough with you I know that. You're just so, so breakable." He whispered the last part in my ear with so much behind it.

He took a deep breath then pulled back to lock our eyes, they were full of something close to panic, "Sometimes I think I want to break you. Just shatter you into tiny pieces." His voice was shaky as he made his confession.

The tremor in his voice mirrored the tremor going through my body, the kind of feeling that comes with being faced with danger while still trying to act unaffected. Roman murmured a shit then fell onto his back, one arm still around me. I pulled myself into a sitting position next to him, keeping the sheet around my chest. His arm fell down my bare back, causing goose bumps as the air hit my skin, and settling around my naked hips.

When I turned to him his eyes were closed and his arm was splayed carelessly next to him. I leaned over him and stroked his hair, pushing it away from his face and feeling the soft, dark curls caress my fingertips. I stroked his face: first his nose, second cheekbone, third his jaw, fourth his chin, and last his lips. Leaning forwards, I placed my lips over his and pulled away when he began to respond. Then, again, I leaned over him but to his ear this time.

"Do it then." I challenged with self-preservation-less guile.

He did not respond noticeably, but I did promptly get up from the bed and this time he let me go, his arm slipping from my hips.