Forever & Always - (One Direction, Narry)

Chapter 20: Talks & Crushes

"But what about the fans, Zayn?" I choked out. "They really do think I've been lying to them. They probably think we have more secrets than ever now. I can't lie to them, Zayn, not anymore. It'll kill me...they have to know the truth."

"They will know the truth...just not at the moment." Zayn sighed, grabbing my shoulders in his clammy hands. His round brown eyes stared directly into mine and he looked like he was at a loss of words. I've never seen Zayn look at me like that before. "Trust me, man. Just leave it alone for now...it'll all be okay. The fans and everything else will all be okay."

I took a step backwards, letting Zayn's limp and slender arms fall down to his sides. He blinked a few times, then looked away from me, towards the kitchen door. I blinked away the few remaining tears that refused to swim down my cheeks and watched him as he decided where to go.

"I'm gonna go back in there...with the guys. You come when you're ready." I nodded, and Zayn took that as a cue to turn and walk away. Just before he got to the door, he turned to give me a weak smile. "Go talk to Harry...I see the way you look at him." Zayn sent me a cheeky wink then disappeared behind the French doors and into the kitchen.

I stood there, blinking in disbelief with Zayn's words echoing in my head. He sees the way I look at Harry? What does that mean? I don't look at Harry in anyway different than I look at the rest of the guys.

If anything, I look at Harry with admiration, respect, and...love.

Oh my God.

Dear Jesus, help us all.

I actually have a crush on Harry?

No way, that can't be. Maybe I've just been caught up in the moment these last few days, but there is no way in heaven or hell that I could actually love Harry Styles in a way that's more than a simple friendship.

Then why am I panicing so much? Why can't I just go talk to him about today like any other normal, civil human being who DOESN'T have a crush on his best friend that happens to also be a male?

Sucking in a deep breath, I turned around and marched up the stairs with the little energy and confidence that I had left. Before I knew it, I was in front of Harry's closed door, staring at the knob and praying to God that something would happen so I wouldn't have to go inside.

But nothing evee happened. So I knocked.

"If that's Zayn or Liam, I don't feel like talking," the voice on the other side of the door stated awfully loudly. "If it's Niall, go away because I'm fine...If it's Louis, come in, it's unlocked."

I rolled my eyes and twisted the knob and gently pressed on the door, Harry slowly but surely coming into my view. "Wow. That was very nice of you," I announced as I entered the room then turned to close the door behind me.

Harry was sprawled across his bed with his head dangling off the side. His curly brown locks were falling down, revealing all of his forehead. He had a blank expression as he stared at me. He hadn't looked like he'd been crying, which was a good sign, but he also definitely did not look fine, either.

"What do you want?" he asked, forcing himself up into a sitting position.

"To talk," I replied, walking further into his room and making myself comfortable on the edge of his bed. Everything was silent for a few moments while Harry had a mentle battle with himself.

Harry sighed, looking away. "I told you, I don't want to talk about today."

"Then we won't talk about today...We'll talk about everything else."

This sparked a small amount of interest in Harry; he turned his focus back to me and blinked multiple times. "What do you mean?"

"Like this whole thing..." I bit my bottom lip, considering my next few words wisely. "I know it's really not fair that we were the ones forced to 'come out'; it really sucks. Some of our fans actually believe that we lied to them for all these years. You and I both know that that's the furthest thing from the truth."

I paused to look at Harry and make sure he was still engaged in the conversation. He was, so I kept on.

"But after today...I'm thinking that this whole thing might not actually be that bad of an idea? I mean, I had a great time with you today, Harry, and I know you had a good time with me. I think that maybe...maybe we could-"

"Niall," Harry interrupted, his eyes crinkled in confusion. "Are you going mad? Listen to yourself, for God's sake!"

"No." I shook my head. "I'm not going mad, Harry, I'm just saying that-"

Harry gave me a weird look. "Bro...do you have a crush on me?" He didn't even let me speak before he talked again. "Niall, stop! You can't have a crush on me! T-thats...that's...not right! Niall, you...you can't!"

"Harry, hear me out!" I exclaimed, growing more and more desperate to get him to listen. But it wasn't working. Harry thinks I'm a freak.

"Niall, get out!"

"What...?"

"I said get out!" he yelled, his face becoming flustered with every word he said.

I decided it was best not to fight against him anymore. With a final sigh, I pushed myself off of his bed and straight out of the door. I didn't have the decency to even tell him goodbye or goodnight, or to even look him in the eyes. I got halfway down the hall before I heard his door slam shut, the noice vibrating and echoing through the whole house.

This is what I get for trying?

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whale...it's been a while. terribly sorry about that!

i hope you enjoyed. i think it's short but that's okay because the next few chapters will make up for it. (;

love ya lots like tator tots.

- mads xx