Forever & Always - (One Direction, Narry)

Chapter 17: Interviews & Coffee

- Niall -

The lads and I were shoved closely to each other as the cheesy music to a morning talk-show rang from the speakers. I felt someone grab my hand, but I didn't bother looking to see who it was. That was the thing I could care least about at a time like this. My hands grasped and tugged at the hem of my faded black shirt and I'm almost positive that my eyebrow was twitching.

Why am I even so nervous?

Oh, yeah. This is our first interview where Harry and I are... dating.

Today is the day we confirm everything. Or, rather, lie about everything. Maybe it wasn't a lie, though... It just wasn't exactly the whole truth. Harry and I like each other, sure. But never in my life have I imagined our relationship blowing up to this size.

I released a breath I didn't know I was holding as I ran over the plan in my head for the one hundredth time. Harry and I have liked each other since we started performing live shows at the X Factor house, we wanted to keep quiet, Harry hid his feelings and just couldn't take it anymore, we started dating last month, blah blah blah.

It made me sick, literally. The thought of going on a live, popular morning television show and confessing my (fake) love for my best male friend is making me gag.

Not that I'm homophobic, it's just really terrifying. I've known Harry for nearly three years. We've been the best of friends for as long as I can remember. We've had our moments, but in the end, he's always going to be there for me no matter what. Harry's basically a little brother to me.

Adding in a relationship would just make things ten times more complicated. The media and the fans are probably the scariest things in the world. They judge you faster than you can even speak. I don't want my fans to hate me. As far as I'm concerned, they never would fully hate me.

But what if?

What if they start to think that Harry and I are freaks? What if they stop coming to concerts because they don't love us the way they used to anymore? What if we stop selling albums and playing gigs worldwide because no one really knew who we were anymore?

What if I ruin everything?

That's the last thing I would ever want. Harry deserves this life more than anything in the world. Louis, Liam, and Zayn all deserve to be having the times of their lives and the last thing I would ever want to do was mess that up for them.

"Boys, you're on." A bald man poked his head around the black curtain seperating the boys and I from the stage. I sucked in a deep breath and watched Zayn lead us onto the stage to the loud applause and cheering of fans waiting for us.

My breathing hitched in my throat and I realized that I was more than nervous - I was bloody horrified. I just can't. Not now, not with Harry, maybe not ever. My feet planted themselves in a firm position and my eyes watched the boys all give warm waves to a few people in the crowd. I just can't.

Harry shook his curls out then turned to peek at me. Once he saw that I refused to move a muscle and go onto the stage, his eyes widened and he rushed over to my side, completely abandoning the young girl he was waving at. His hands found my shoulders and his eyes stared into mine.

"Niall, stop freaking yourself out. It's stressing me out." Harry cracked a smile.

I shook my head at him. "I can't do it, Harry. I'm sorry, I can't."

"Why are you apologizing to me, Niall?" he asked, his eyebrows crinkling in confusion. "Take a deep breath and look at me, you idiot. You aren't letting anyone, especially me, down. Why are you so on edge?"