The Secret I Tried to Keep

Chapter 54

Aria was waiting up for me when I got home. Of course, she wanted to know all the details, but I was grumpy and tired. I was sick of being on this emotional carousel. I thought that once I made a decision, that would be that and I would finally have a chance at being happy, but of course, Zane got in the way, as usual.

Aria sprung up from the couch when I entered the living room and sat me down beside her as she practically bounced in her seat.

"You're home early. Sooo?" she asked. I sighed and relaxed against the couch.

"Zane ruined it... again," I explained. Aria was confused and understandably so.

"Zane showed up?" she asked. I shook my head.

"Tyler wants me to talk to Zane again. He said he feels like he's intruding," I explained. Aria pouted.

"No, why?" Aria whined.

"I think he wants to make sure that he's not the reason Zane and I don't work out, but here's the thing: I don't want to be with Zane anymore. Yes, he's the father to our daughter, but I can't be with him romantically again. We're both way too passionate. We fight dirty and we just end up hurting each other," I explained. Aria sighed.

"Fudge," Aria breathed. I raised an eyebrow at her in amusement.

"Fudge?" I repeated. She shrugged.

"I'm trying to get used to not cussing so I'm not a terrible influence on your daughter," she explained. I chuckled lightly even though I was still bummed about the whole Tyler thing.

"Thanks, Ari," I said. She stood and stretched with a yawn.

"Well, I'm heading to bed. Wanna cuddle?" she asked. I gave her a light smile as I shook my head.

"Nah, I think I'm going to stay up and watch TV a little longer," I declined. I was really in the mood for cuddling, but I wanted to cuddle with Tyler. Aria went upstairs and a second later, she was replaced with Fehtra. Fehtra sat next to me with a sigh as she studied my face.

"I'm guessing the date didn't go as planned?" she asked. I nodded.

"I want to date Tyler, but he's worried about Zane," I said bluntly.

"You should explain that to Zane... and Tyler. At the end of the day, Zane is always going to be around because of the baby, if you keep her. And if you and Tyler go further, Zane will be right there the whole time," Fehtra said. I knew it was true, but I liked to pretend it wasn't. I wasn't going to give my baby up just to be with Tyler, but I still wasn't decided on that front.

"I don't know how I'm going to do this," I said hoarsely as tears stung my eyes. Fethra pulled me into her to rest my head on her shoulder.

"You know your options. I won't say anything else because you already know I'm slightly biased," she joked. I chuckled once and sniffled as I wiped my tears away. "The only thing I will say, is that you should figure this out before the baby comes. If this keeps going, your baby isn't going to know what to think about any of this," she said.

"So you're saying that I should work this out with Zane, too?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I'm saying that he's the father," she corrected me. I sighed and leaned back against the couch again as I rubbed over my stomach.

"He's driven by emotion, though. He doesn't think about things; he just... does things. Half the time those things end up hurting me in the end, and I don't want our daughter to be in the same boat. I know he's changed a lot since I got pregnant, but I don't know if that's going to be enough," I rambled. She shrugged.

"Only you can decide that, but you two are very much alike in that way. As smart as you are, Chandria, you let your emotions drive you, too," Fehtra said. She rubbed my arm gently in a comforting way before she left for bed as well. I sighed and closed my eyes briefly. The only thing I could think of was to take to Zane and then go from there.