The Secret I Tried to Keep

Chapter 34

"I'll take Domino for a walk. You should talk to her," Tyler said as his hand touched my arm gently. I thanked him softly before I went to the kitchen.

"Hey, can I help?" I asked timidly. Fehtra gave me a small smile before she nodded. I started on chopping vegetables as she watched and stirred what was on the stove. I sighed and glance behind me to her briefly. "I'm sorry... for snapping at you like that," I apologized after a moment. She only shrugged.

"It's okay, Dria. I know that you're going through a lot right now and the hormones probably don't help anything," she said jokingly . I offered a ghost of a smile.

"I mean it, though. You've done nothing but help, and I've been trying to push you out the whole time when the truth is: I need your help. I'm sorry, Fethra. I've been a bitch," I said. She turned and faced me fully as she shook her head.

"Mama and Buppie didn't really set you, or us rather, up to trust people easily. I don't blame you," she explained. I gave her a tight hug.

"Thank you, sis... for everything," I said gratefully before I let go of her. "I've just been so confused on everything. I don't even know if I can go to college and raise this baby at the same time. Plus, I have to factor in Zane and his future if he wants to be involved still... I don't know which way is up anymore," I said in a rush, suddenly getting a case of word vomit. Fehtra only chuckled and shook her head before she turned back to the pots and pans on the stove.

"If you think you're stressed now, just wait until the baby comes. On top of all this, you'll be sleep deprived and exhausted from trying to calm a crying baby. You know, Ben and I were actually thinking about adopting... and if you decide to go that route, you know where we are," Fehtra tried to say casually. It was like she placed a bomb in my lap and walked away whistling as the timer counted down.

"You want to adopt my baby?" I asked as I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter. Fehtra blushed as she set the stirring spoon down.

"I'm giving you an option. You're so young, Dria, and you have your entire life ahead of you. You haven't even graduated high school, for Christ's sake. Plus, this way, you can still see your baby whenever you want and still be able to live your life. Ben and I actually tried to get pregnant a while ago... I couldn't. I took the hormone shots, fertility pills, everything. Nothing worked. We decided last year that adoption was the only option we had left," she explained. I shook my head and sighed.

"You must hate me. Here you are, trying to get pregnant and your younger, unmarried sister gets pregnant by accident. I'm have no means to support a child right now. I'm the most self-centered. person in the world. I'm so sorry, Fehtra," I said before covering my face with my hands.

"Dria, it's okay. We didn't tell anyone," Fehtra tried to play it off. I heard barking and knew Tyler was back with Domino. Soon after, Tyler strolled into the kitchen.

"I swear, Domi is only calm when he's around you," Tyler joked as he hung the leash up next to the keys. I chuckled and pet Domino's head as he sat by my feet, wagging his tail.

"You know the rules, Domi. Get out of the kitchen," I said to him sternly. He stood and trotted away with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. I chucked before I turned to Tyler. "Are you staying for dinner?" I asked. Tyler nodded and washed his hands as a boyish smile covered his face.

"Any excuse to eat Fehtra's food. It's a mystery why Ben and Dria aren't the size of houses yet, Tyler said as he took over chopping the vegetables. I rubbed a hand over my stomach out of habit.

"I'll be there soon," I joked. Fehtra laughed but I could see the hint of longing and sadness behind her eyes. Just like that, I felt guilty again. Ben should be home soon, right?" I asked, trying to change the subject. Fehtra nodded.