A Voice Unheard- Part I: Prose

After All This Time

Samantha (Sam) Russell. I hadn't heard from her since my school days. And that was nearly, twenty years ago. We were very close friends, but after sometime things became very complicated. We had a major fight after which she told me that I was the worst person she had ever met and that I had hurt her too deep for her to ever be able forgive me. With that she completely ignored me and all my attempts to apologize. Basically I was dead to her. Many weeks passed, but not a day passed without me wondering if she was right. Were her accusations justified? Was I that bad a friend? Did I neglect her or her feelings? Was she right to say that I never remembered her? She said I was guilty for not bothering to hear her out. She said that there were times when she just wanted to sit down and pour her heart out to me, but she couldn't as I wasn't paying attention. Apparently I entertained others when she wanted to talk to me. Another thing that had really annoyed her was my diplomacy or my indifference to anything she was involved in.

She and one of our friends Kathy had just stopped talking. I had fully supported Sam, when she decided against talking to the other girl, but hadn't done so myself. And this greatly annoyed her. She said that if she was as important to me as I said she was, I would have staunchly, openly and immediately supported her.
She threatened, many a time to stop talking to me if I didn't stop talking to Kathy, but I knew she wouldn't be able to do such a thing as we were very close to each other. Admittedly I even took advantage of this and put of my inevitable decision.

I thought she'd get over it and not pressurize me to make such a difficult decision. She claimed I was weak and that I had to stop complaining about Kathy to her. Either I had to do something about my dislike for Kathy or I had to stop whining about her to Sam. That's what Sam told me one day. She was hurt that after all the things she had done for me, I was still incapable of doing this one little thing for her. She said that all she ever wanted was to be my friend. But even that wasn't possible. She was so hurt that I nether valued her friendship, nor did I bother to show her that I cared. She said that my actions were very different from my words. She said that even though I said claimed to support and like her, my actions spoke of nothing but indifference and carelessness towards her. She was so forceful and believing in her arguments that I had no choice but to feel so guilty and upset. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to respond to her, as anything I said to explain my actions, she called them lame excuses. So I gave up on what little we had, as our friendship. I moved on, being friendly to everyone. So I had many friends, but none like her. None as strong in character and common decency as her. She was different, one of a kind. She was strong willed and very compassionate at heart...everyone else's well-being came before hers. I missed that.

Two years passed and I completed my schooling, to go on to college. I majored in medicine and then went abroad to complete the last leg of my childhood dream. I graduated and completed my degree in Forensic Science...the dream that no one but Samantha had supported. Everyone else saw it as a pipe-dream...even my own parents believed it to be a waste of time until I actually accomplished it. Then came the question of where to practice my profession...in the US or in India. I had told myself that I would love some foreign exposure before coming back and setting up life in India. But I hadn't seen my family in three years and I missed them. One day I was booting up my laptop to check my mail...I saw one from Sam! Her letter went like this:

Dear Sandy,

I hope you are doing well. I heard that you went abroad, to complete your forensic science degree. I know how you always wanted to become a forensic scientist. Anyway...what are you planning to do after you get your degree? I finished my law degree and am coming to the US to master in Harvard. Take care