Family. [peterick]

Twenty Seven (by fall out boy)

"Patrick" Pete mumbled beside me as I attempted to sleep.

"Mm" I mumbled with my eyes closed.

"You know, I want you to trust me again right?" I nodded "W-well then, I wanna tell you something. Something only I've never told anyone at all"

"Pete can't we talk about this in the-"

"I wanna tell you what happened to my parents" I shut my mouth and turned to face him. "And I've never, ever told anyone" I sat up with him now. He didn't look at me he just stared at the wall. "You can't tell anyone. I mean anyone Patrick"

"I won't I promise" I said. He gulped gently.

"I still remember it to this day. The cops. The terrified neighbors. Everything" He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath "I killed my parents" he whispered. My eyes went completely wide "I was so young Patrick. I found this gun on the ground and I didn't know what the fuck it was you know? I was so young. I aimed it up at my mom. My dad ran in front of her and I pulled the fucking trigger" Tears poured from his eyes "I-I flew back from the power of it and pulled the trigger again in the heat of the moment killing my mom" He whimpered and bit his lip "And to this day no one knows why that gun was on the floor. No one" He wiped his eyes "My family didn't want me. They thought I was a psycho kid who purposely murdered his own parents. But I was too young and little to go to jail. But every single fucking day I blame myself for that. I hate myself for it. Everyday I wish someone would have stopped me. I wish someone took that fucking gun from me or it would have never been on the fucking floor" He sobbed again "I tell myself everyday that it should have been me. I carry around all this fucking guilt. I carry it around everywhere Patrick" I pulled his head into my chest where he cried harder. I closed my eyes. I had guilt over my mom but killing both my parents? My god. My poor baby.

"Pete, this wasn't your fault. This will never be your fault do you hear me? This wasn't your fault you were too young to understand" He cried harder. So hard he wasn't even making noise anymore he was just shaking in my arms with an occasional small sob. "I love you. Don't blame yourself for this do you understand me? You can't blame yourself for this" I wiped a tear off my cheek. When did I start crying.

"I killed my own parents" he cried out "I killed them and it's all my fault! It's all my fault!" I kissed the top of his head hugging him so tightly. He moved his head to my neck burying it there. He hugged me back tightly.

"Pete baby I love you. Please, this wasn't your fault and it never ever will be"

"I pulled the trigger" I pulled him away by his shoulders and looked into his red, puffy eyes.

"You were too young Pete. You didn't understand. So this isn't your fault. Whoever left that gun on the ground? It's their fault. Okay?" he nodded. I wiped the tears off his cheeks with my palm.

"So I was in and out of the system and then your brother took me in" he smiled at me a broken smile. "Even without knowing my baggage"

"He does that" I smiled a little too "But it's not your fault baby okay?" he nodded. I knew he didn't believe me. "It's not"

"I love you" he kissed my forehead "I love you okay? I love you so much. I can't imagine life without you"

"I love you too Pete. Thank you for telling me" he smiled and kissed my nose.

"You're the only person I'll ever tell that to" I smiled too.