The Truth About the Girl With the Broken Smile [Ouran Host Club] (Editing)

Date Me

                He nodded. “It suits you.”

                A smile twitched across my face. “You’re actually the first person I’ve told. I’m glad you think so.”

                A splotch of redness touched his cheeks. He looked away. “I’m glad I’ve gotten to see this part of you. The fun, happy Indie. I was worried you’d lost yourself somewhere along the road.” My heart stopped for half a beat. So he saw through the mask. “I can relate, you know. Maybe not the way you can, but I’ve been betrayed by someone very dear to me. When I was little, we had this maid. She was our favorite maid. She didn’t spoil us the way the rest was, she treated us like people. But she was a lie. She was after our money and told us so bluntly. Hikaru and I just wanted to be told apart. We had such high hopes for her, but in the middle of the night, she left saying no one would ever be able to tell us apart.” He paused to look me over. He scanned my face for an answer, but I was struggling to find an emotion to settle on. He smiled. “Tamaki was the first to tell us apart. It was out of luck, but it was enough to make us question what she said. Then Haruhi came along and without even trying told us apart. And now, now there’s you. You turned my world completely upside down. I know that’s not fair of me to say, but when I’m with you, I’m not ‘Hikaru and Kaoru’ or ‘The Hitachiin Twins’. I’m Kaoru. Just Kaoru. I never thought I wouldn’t miss my brother, but I’m surviving without him.”

                There was a moment of silence between us. I touched his hands. “To me, you and Hikaru are two separate people. You are you and he is he. You look and act completely different to me because you are. It’s a good thing. I promise.”

                He nodded. “I know it is. Even if you don’t become my girlfriend or ever return my feelings, I’m grateful for you. Because of you, I’ve realized I’m my own person. You’ve set me free.”

                “That’s a lot of pressure on me, isn’t it?” I laughed. He shook his head no.

                “You just being you is enough. I’ve seen you battle with yourself every day, but you’ve always managed to move forward. Do you know how incredible that is?”

                I froze. I didn’t.

I had no idea what it was like to be strong.

I had no idea how to move forward.

I tried,

But I felt like I was failing.

                “Indie, you’re beautiful. Thank you for tonight.” He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “I mean it.”

I wanted to confess everything to him.

From beginning to end.

I wanted him to know me

I needed him to know my story

My secrets

My lies

But I remained in a daze.

Completely silent.

                Kaoru stood up offering his hand. He gave me a devilish slanted grin, the same one he wore the first day he met me. My heart fluttered to life. My face felt feverishly read as I grasped his hand. He pulled me into him.

                “Let’s go home. It’s getting late.”

***

                Kaoru flicked the lights on. The mansion felt empty as we entered it. I chewed on my lip, still debating whether or not I should show him all my scars (no pun intended), but every chance I got, I turned down. As much as I wanted to believe I was ready, I knew I wasn’t.