{ #2 } I Would Give Him The Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 4 - Electric Blue Eyes

Thank God I have Shannon in the evening at home who keeps comforting me and cheering me up. When I came back home on the first Thursday evening, I simply broke down the moment I entered our apartment. I told him how hard the day had been after I was told that Carola wouldn't come back for some time and I had to handle her job although I was a beginner and had only started. He encouraged me and told me that I was the best and I would succeed and prove them that I could do it. Out of nowhere, he pulled out a pack of beers that I would rather not know how he got, and we had a relaxing pizza evening. Over the week-end, he was also the one to make me stop working on my laptop and drag me to one of the gay nightclubs he is used to go.

I have never been a huge fan of nightclubs. For one, I am not at ease with my body and can't really dance. Then, most of the times, my friend chooses gay clubs. Although Shan is bi-sexual, he has a preference for men so it is easier for him to find partners. The problem is that, with his cute face and his great skills at dancing, Shan attracts a lot of people and it sometimes happens that I find myself all alone while he does what he has to in a corner or in the bathrooms of the club. I don't really have a problem with this because I know him and I often encourage him, saying I don't mind staying alone for a while. Shannon is a sex on legs but I also know that he is always cautious to protect himself. However, me ending up sitting alone at a table in a gay nightclub also means that some guys sometimes try their luck with me and I am not gay.

Or at least I don't think so. Actually I don't know. To be honest, my sexual experience is zero. As a teenager, I flirted with a few girls - or let's say I kissed two girls. The first time, I can't really say that I liked it because I was awkward and too shy to let my tongue inside her mouth. The second time was a bit better and I even dared to reach the girl's breast... this is when she slapped me in the face. I guess it must have dampened me and I have never renewed the experience since then. The truth is that I have never felt any kind of genuine attraction for a girl. I don't blame it on my shy temper because I don't even feel attracted to beautiful actresses or singers who I know are unreachable. At some point in my late adolescence, I forced myself to look at some kind of magazines but only got frustrated because I didn't really feel any arousal at the sight of naked women. Seeing a supposedly-sexy woman just doesn't trigger anything within me.

If I say that I am not gay, it is because I have never felt attracted to men either. It is not like I never got to see naked men when I was in the showers after PE classes, but at that time, I was more preoccupied by my straight A's than my sexual life - or lack thereof. Besides, living with a guy who has absolutely no complex, I wouldn't be able to count the number of times I saw him naked, but this is Shannon, my best friend. I have always considered him as an older brother, so there is no way I would feel any kind of sexual attraction to him I guess. I was kissed by a man about a year ago during one of our nights out in a club. I have to admit that the guy was rather cute and maybe I would have appreciated the kiss if he hadn't tasted a mix of so many different alcohols that I ran away. So here I am, twenty years old, still a virgin and not really knowing what I like.

All this is to say that I managed to relax over the week-end because I had a great Saturday evening with Shan in a club. He didn't leave me on my own that night and declined quite a few proposals from other guys. We had a lot of fun and on Monday morning, I was ready to start a new week. My motivation fell on Wednesday when Mr. Jones himself sent me a dozen of files that I needed to organize and make a presentation of them without much more precision. I didn't want to mess up with one of the biggest bosses of the company so I asked him for more information. It obviously upset him but he gave me some helpful instructions and with a lot of effort, I managed to offer him a first draft that he returned to me with a ton of annotations. This was one of the documents that I needed to print out and bring to him upstairs by 3:00 pm the latest this afternoon.