{ #2 } I Would Give Him The Moon (MxM || 18+)

Chapter 41 - So Lonely

       

(Joshua's POV - Sat. 14 December 2013)

"Josh... it's Saturday evening... it's almost ten... what the hell are you calling for?" Allan grumbles when he picks up the phone.

"Sorry to disturb you... I accidentally squeezed your email with the report on the fire incident and I need it now... Can you please just send it to me again?" I explain.

"Now... like now immediately...?" he exclaims.

"I wouldn't disturb you if I didn't it need it right now..."

"Aren't you out tonight?" Allan asks suspiciously.

"No, not this week-end. Liam had other plans."

"Now that explains your grumpy mood yesterday in the office..." he chuckles.

"My mood had nothing to do with that, now can you please send me the damn file again?"

"Sure thing... Give me five minutes to get to my study and send it. Have a good week-end... working..." he smirks.

"Thanks, you too..."

Working on the week-end is not really something new for me, so I don't understand why he seems to be that surprised. He always gets a lot of emails from me on Saturdays and Sundays, though not quite often at that time on a Saturday since I am always at the Black Diamond... and I have to admit that I have spent less time in my study over the week-ends since Liam accepted to become my Submissive. So yeah... maybe that explains why Allan was surprised.

However, since my boy has decided to spend the week-end on his own, or rather with his friend Shannon, I didn't really feel like going to the club tonight. When one of my previous Subs would need to take a week-end off, I never minded spending the Saturday evening at the Diamond with my friends, but with Liam, it is different.... Everything is different with Liam... And that sometimes gets on my nerves because I know that my feelings are growing for the boy and I'm not certain to be ready for that. What is worse is to feel that I can't exert control on my emotions and control is the one thing I need. Not only as a Dominant but also as the human being that I am.

I suffered a lot from this relationship I had in college. Julian and I had been together for over a year and I sincerely loved him. Our couple was just a normal one with a top and a bottom; there was no BDSM at all. Aaron was already drowned in the lifestyle at time, but the little fucker had kept that secret from his friends, so that was completely foreign to me. Anyway, I was really involved in this relationship with Julian and was already imagining what our future could be. Julian studied business management while I was in my first year of architecture; I had high expectations on my career and even if my father was going to be my boss in the beginning, I well intended to carry his company to a much higher level. I was also hoping to partner with Julian and our college friend Allan. I was hoping to finally come out to my parents at some point, even if I wasn't ready for that yet. I was hoping to marry Julian one day - I had even bought an engagement ring - and maybe raise some children. Yes, I was crazy in love with that guy... All these dreams blew out in one second... the one second when I went to Julian's dorm unexpected and found him being fucked by some kind of jock.

That was my breaking point. This was the moment I lost all hopes on love. Until that day, I stupidly thought that cheating was only reserved to hetero couples, like my mother often did. I couldn't believe in love anymore and however much Julian tried to apologize and promised that it would never happen again, I couldn't trust him anymore. I couldn't trust anyone else either. This was a huge turning point in my life and I promised myself to never ever fall in love again.

What Julian did a few weeks later when he realized that I wouldn't get back on my decision only strengthened my opinion. As if cheating on me wasn't enough, he tried to ruin my life with a treacherous act when he sent some pictures of us to my father and, what happened next is already known. After my old man's funeral, it was obvious that I needed to take over the company and give up on my architecture studies. However, I made a last round trip to the university campus to pack up my things, and I beat the crap out of him like I never did before with anyone. Or almost... but that's an older story that I've tried to forget.