My Own Way

Chapter 24 - Part 1

"I can't even imagine you in between my legs with a beard like that?  You'd give me rug burns and that would really hurt." I told him.

"It would tickle, not hurt."

"Yeah right and besides, I'm not ready to find out and it would take a really long time to get a beard that...long." I told him.

"Well, you could call it a beard burn...  Anyhow, you should be used to rug burns after all this time."  He stated, making me laugh.

"Having carpet burns on my back hurts.  I can't even imagine how it would hurt having it between my legs." I told him.

"I could be gentle." He simply said with a smile back on his face.

I smiled and shook my head, and then we went back to watching the show.

Blake was amazing but sometimes, gentle wasn't exactly what I wanted, just like he loved my dirty imagination and how I loved trying different things that involved just the two of us.

Each and every day I saw him, every minutes we'd spend together made me think of what my grandmother had said the night my dad had his heart attack.  Was I really falling in love with Blake?  Or was I already in love with him?

I had an appointment to see Emily in a few days, I already knew that I'd bring up that subject.  I was terrified of what she was going to tell me and what I believed I already knew.

I kept trying to push the thoughts aside and pretend those words didn't exist because if I'd let myself feel those emotions...if I'd let myself think and address those words, I knew I'd be in trouble and that things would get serious, that I could get hurt and I wasn't sure I was ready for that.

Every time we were together we had fun, we'd talk and laugh.  When I was at work and one of the girls would ask me about him, I couldn't help but smile.  Sometimes no words were even needed, just the thought of him made me smile.  I knew now that it wasn't only about sex, even though it was still amazing, our relationship was a lot more than that.

I wasn't sure how Blake felt.  He never brought it up and I was thankful for that.  If he would tell me he was in love me, knowing myself, I would probably run in the opposite direction, even if I felt the same way, and I'm pretty sure he was aware of that.  We were good at reading each other, knowing when to push for information, when to back off or when to simply not bring it up.

Sometimes before falling asleep, I'd close my eyes but I knew he was looking straight at me.  I could feel his eyes on me and I knew if I'd open my eyes he would say something, so I always kept them closed.

It angered me.  I was angry at myself for not having the courage to open my eyes.  I felt like a scared little girl.  I knew Blake would never intentionally hurt me so I didn't fully understand why I felt that way.

I was brought back to reality by the sound of his laughter, with his head still on my lap while watching the TV.

I tried concentrating on the show instead of my own thoughts.  It wasn't too difficult since it was a show we both loved and to my luck, Wednesdays the show was a marathon.  We watched it like an old married couple until I realized Blake fell asleep on me.  It was strange to think of us in that way but that was basically it.

I grabbed the remote he was still holding, even as he slept and I turned off the TV.

"Blake." I said rubbing his arm.  When he moved a bit I took the opportunity, "Wake up.  Let's go to bed." I said a bit louder before he'd fall back asleep.

He opened his eyes and looked up meeting mine.

"I was dreaming..." He said with his voice full of sleep even though he wasn't asleep for long.

"About?" I asked, a bit curious.

He shook his head and sat up.  "Nothing." He whispered, dismissing it.

We both got up and went to the bedroom.  I feel asleep with him holding me, his arm around me, pulling me closer to him.  I truly loved the way that felt, I had never felt safer even though at the same time, it scared me to death.

****Please Vote & Comment!  Thank You!!****

 

 

Hi everyone!  I know it was short that's why it's 'Part'. lol and it's better than nothing!  I'm really happy, I kept my word, wrote on Facebook and Twitter that I was either posting Part 1 today or tomorrow.  So I'm a very happy woman right now with a big smile on my face.

 

I hope everyone had a great weekend, and have a great night!  xx