The Somerton Man

The Reluctant Father

But then looking up, he noticed the way she was looking at him speculatively, as if trying to figure out exactly what he had meant by his words. He realised he was becoming careless in his inebriated state and saying things he shouldn't"

"I would prefer it if you leave me alone now, I am in no mood for company, as you can see, we will discuss this another time, when I am in a better frame of mind" his tone was formal and stiff

For a moment she seem to hesitate, as if she was going to object to his dismissing of her, whilst seeming to show a flicker of genuine concern and empathy for him, that he really did not want or need from her, of all people, at that moment"

"Just go" he reiterated in a tone that brooked no argument, refusing to look her in the eye, and staring into his empty glass again

"Fine, if that is what you want," she finally relented quietly, much to his relief "And I suppose you are right, it is better and makes more sense that we wait until your mind is clearer to discuss this again, so I will leave you to it" she finished more decisively before turning to leave.

Once she was gone, Daniel got up from behind his desk deciding he needed to find more brandy

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Things did not bode well over the next few days much to Eleanor's despair, Daniel's return had cast a certain air of disquiet and gloom as he seemed bent on avoiding her, and keeping more company with alcohol.

The new servants were not quite sure what to make of his return and tended to defer to Eleanor on matters that needed to be attended to. Some of the young maids she had hired seemed a little frightened and cautious of him, especially in his drunken state, when he might come across them he would snap at them, demanding to know who they were and what they were doing.

Martha, who was more used to Daniel's ways, proceeded tell the new staff off for being so silly, whilst getting some pleasure in haughtily informing Eleanor she did not think that the new employee's she had hired were up to much, and things might as well have go back the way they were before she had done so, as she couldn't be doing without having to nursemaid silly young girls who were frightened of the master of the house.

Although Daniel had told her he would speak further with her when his mind was clear, yet it seemed he had no intention of having a clear mind much to Eleanor's frustration. She was still reeling from learning that his daughter Clara would be coming to live with them. But it was Daniel's reaction to this forthcoming event that bewildered her the most, especially his last statement, about not feeling he deserved to be responsible for his daughter, which was entirely different than saying he didn't want to be responsible for her at all.

She was starting to wonder if Daniel blamed himself for the death of his first wife and unborn child for some reason? She just didn't know why he would feel so strongly this way, when she knew he had not even been at home when it happened. But, then perhaps that was the problem, perhaps he felt that if he had been home it might not have happened.

She could not think of any other reason, why he felt this guilt that he didn't even think he deserved to be around his daughter. He was a hard man to figure out, just when she thought she had, she found that this was not the case.

But after a week, she decided she could no longer avoid the subject, and unable to rest her mind, she approached him in his study again one evening where she hoped she would find him in a more sober state than usual lately

She knocked on the door, but she didn't wait for him to tell her to enter before opening it not wanting to be fobbed of with some excuse

Daniel's eyebrows rose at her temerity, to more or less barge in on him in this unusual manner, and despite his withering look at her rash behaviour, she refused to back down and approached him

"I am sorry to intrude like this" she decided to apologise at least, before continuing, "but I feel we need to talk about the arrival of your daughter, you did say we would discuss it," Eleanor reminded him in her most reasonable tone, "It's been over a week and you have not told me what is happening, whether your daughter will be coming, I would really like to know, so I can be prepared"

"I was going to speak with you in the morning" Daniel informed her stiffly, but then his stance relaxed a little

"But, seeing you are so eager to find out, I can inform you that have already written back to my former father-in-law a few days ago, to let him know I got his correspondence, and that if he thought it was best that Clara come to live with me, that it was acceptable, and that I would be placing you in charge of her care when she arrives, does that suit your curiosity?" he finished dryly

"Y-yes," Eleanor replied meekly, "and I am sorry for approaching you like this, but I felt you were avoiding me and this whole business, and I just needed to know one way or the other"

"Well, now you do" Daniel said, "And I will expect you to take full responsibility for my daughter when she arrives, to make sure she has all the things she needs, As my wife I believe it is your duty"

"Certainly I will do what I can," Eleanor replied, keeping her tone neutral as she could, "But still, I will be a complete stranger to her, and you are her father and her flesh and blood, So, I imagine it is you she will turn to when she arrives, and she will want to spend time with you, and catch up. Surely you would like that also"

Much to Eleanor's dismay, she thought she saw Daniel shudder at such a prospect before he replied, "I have resigned myself that I have to be a parent now, and I will do what I must. I have never shirked my duty towards my family" but it was not exactly the answer she had wanted to here there was no warmth in it, and it troubled her

"Now, if you will excuse me I have informed you of what you wish to know, so can you kindly leave me to my business" he then said as if now bored of her presence

"Of- of course" Eleanor replied, then spoke up on a more upbeat note whilst being as tactful as she could, "I will look forward to meeting your daughter, it will be nice to have a young person to brighten up the house again, especially now that the improvements are underway, and it will be much more comfortable for her. I wonder will she remember living here, she left at a very young age when her mother died?"

"Yes, she did," Daniel agreed, suddenly a distant look in his eye as he remembered his daughter's young chubby figure, toddling about the nursery and how on many occasions back then, he would come up and visit and give her a cuddle, along with Isabella, But then he felt the familiar stabbing pain in his heart, that that life was gone, and it had been his fault, and he had no right to such happiness now.

Once more his expression hardened, "But as you said, it was a long time ago, and perhaps she will not remember, perhaps it's even better she doesn't"

And with that he bent his head to attend to the papers on his desk letting her no that the conversation was finished, and she turned to leave his study still feeling perplexed by his attitude