Amnesty | Book 4

s i x

TERENY
"He's wrong."

    Bruce kept mumbling to himself as we got into the car. I glanced over at him and looked away. As bad as I wanted to say something to him, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It was like he was so zoned out that if I said anything, it would interfere and cause him to spaz out.

    "We're gonna go and see a real doctor tomorrow and they're gonna tell us the truth. Okay?" Bruce said to me as he grabbed my hand.

    For some reason, I was a little frightened looking back at him. It was almost looking a killer in his eyes. But I know that in Bruce's eyes, there was pure desperation. He wanted so bad for Dr. McGee to be wrong. And although what Dr. McGee was saying didn't make any sense, I wasn't the one to argue with his theory of my miscarrying my baby in the beginning only to be pregnant again as if nothing ever happened.

    "You hungry? What do you wanna eat?" Bruce asked me as he started up the ignition. I swallowed hard. I wasn't hungry. I had no appetite at all. It was almost as if he'd read my appetite because he shut his eyes for a moment and then opened them, showing nothing but frustration. "Tereny, you've gotta eat something."

    I knew that I needed to eat, but I just wasn't hungry for whatever reason. I'm hardly ever hungry.

    "I'm just not hungry." I answer him.

    "You're pregnant. You're not gonna starve my baby." Bruce fussed.

    The last thing I wanted to do was fuss with him about eating. I figured if I just force myself to eat something, everything will be okay.

    Sighing, I shrug my shoulders. I didn't know what I wanted. Part of me just wanted to go home and lay in bed until the kids came back. I didn't feel like being bothered with the outside world. It was no fun in it.

    "If it's okay with you, I just rather go back home." I say, hoping it didn't make him mad. Bruce blew out air from his mouth and backed out of the driveway.

    "I'll just cook something at home." He mumbled.

    The car ride was quiet. Unlike any other car ride I've been in before besides the car ride back home from Georgia. But this was a different quiet ride. There were so many thoughts up in the air, you could literally feel them floating about. My mind was running wild with possibilities that I wasn't carrying Bruce's child and it was scaring me.

    I'm sure if the baby was not his, he would want to divorce me. I just know how he operates. That's why part of me didn't want to tell him what really happened between me and Paci. I never wanted anyone to know about what happened between us. No one at all. It's embarrassing.

    "Tereny, what happened to us?" Bruce asked after a long moment of silence.

    I didn't realize it before, but we were at Walgreens, parked in the parking lot. For a moment, I was wondering why we were here, but then I remembered. My medication.

    "Things weren't this bad between us before. We had ups and downs, but nothing like this before. I just can't believe how distant we are right now." Bruce said to me. I knew what he meant. I felt very distant. Almost as if I couldn't trust him now.

    The way that my mind is set up, I didn't bother to respond. I just sat there, staring out at the store, wanting the conversation to just be over. I never wanted to talk about it. I just wanted this to go away.

    Before I met Bruce, things were okay. I never had many worries. But it's like ever since I met him, things were going horribly wrong. I know that I can't hold him fully responsible, but I just feel like I'm better off. Bruce and his sister put me through a lot and for me to still be here, I'm lucky. My life has been in danger many times and I just want everything to go back to normal. Whatever that may be.