Show me the light (Niam/Ziall)

Chapter 4. 'I blame it on my own sick pride'

                    Liam took my hand in his and smiled at me. "Stop" I growled and took my hand back. I stuffed my hands in my pocket. Liam frowned and nodded. "Did you find what you were looking for?" Liam slowly shook his head and walked away from me. "Liam," I sighed, "Don't do this." "Do what" Liam spat. "Walk away from me" I said quietly. "Then hold my hand" Liam pouted. I pecked his pout gently. "Don't pout at me" I winked. Liam's eyes grew wide. I rolled my eyes at him and took his hand in mine. He tangled our fingers together and smiled. We walked out of the store.

                "Where to next?" I shrugged and looked around the mall for a store. "Can we go to the arcade?" I shook my head. "Please" Liam pouted. Zayn and I used to go to the arcade every Friday night and sense he died I never been in there. It brings too many memories.

                 "F-Fine" I shuttered, dreading to truly to go in there. Liam dragged me to the arcade. "I'll get tokens. You go find a game to play" Liam smiled and kissed my cheek. I nodded and walked away from him. I looked at the air hockey table. Zayn and I played this game many times. He always let me win or else I would get all mad at him for winning. I smiled, remebering the things he told me when I won. He was so proud of me. Even though he let me win. He still wanted me to be happy, that's all that matters. "Air hockey, aye" Liam smiled at me. I nodded and took a couple tokens from Liam. "Good luck Horan" Liam smirked and we started to play.

-*-

                    I followed Liam as we walked into this tiny coffee shop. It's about lunch time, so Liam and I decided to just get some tea instead of really eating. I'm fine with it. Liam held the door open for me and I stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed and linked our arms together. I explained to Liam I can't hold his hand, so he found a glitch. Why does he have to be so fucking smart? I walked up to the small counter with Liam. "Whatcha want babe" Liam asked. "Can I have a milkshake" I giggled. "You're so cute" Liam laughed. I smiled, "Can I have some tea?" Liam nodded and ordered for me. I leaned my head on his shoulder as he ordered. He was getting same thing as me, but he got a muffin. "You like muffins aye" I laughed. Liam face palmed himself and shot me a look. I bit my lip trying not to laugh. Liam paid for our drinks and his muffin.

                           "I could've paid" I pouted. "You were too busy making fun of my muffin" Liam shook his head. I grabbed my tea and laughed once more. Liam sat down at a table by a window. I sat next to him. He sat his muffin on a napik and cut it in half.

                      "You're such a lady" I laughed again. "Will you stop laughing at me" Liam giggled. I shook my head. "Never babe." He just shook his head at me and stuffed half of his muffin in his mouth. "Don't choke" I smirked. Liam looked away from me and swallowed his muffin. If he chokes it would be my fault because I keep making him laugh. Oops. Liam faced me again. "I didn't choke" he smiled. "Yay" I twirled my finger around. We both started to laugh. Liam just started to talk about something but I wasn't really paying attention.

                  I couldn't help but notice how pink Liam's lips were. How he always licks them after every sentence. Or how he bites his bottom lip when he was thinking about what to say next. The way his lips formed to every word he said. How his lips seemed like if they kissed you, everything would just fade away.

                     "Niall" Liam said which forced me to stop staring at his lips. I blushed and took a long sip of my tea. "Were you even listening to me" Liam groaned. "N-No." I was too busy looking at your perfect lips. Liam rolled his eyes and drank the rest of his tea. "Can we go now" I asked. "Why? You got somewhere to be" Liam raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, actually." "Where you going" Liam pouted. I can't tell him I was going to talk to Zayn. Well talk to his grave. But he's not stopping me.

                        "I'm not telling you" I spat. Liam frowned and nodded. I stood up and Liam grabbed my arm, forcing my jacket to move up. He stared at my scars for what seemed like a million of years. I pulled my arm back. "Y-You cut yourself?" "Shut up Liam!" I ran out of the coffee shop.

-*-

                   I sat down by Zayn's grave with my knees pulled up to my chest. "Zayn.. I really need you now.." I sighed. "I keep staring at Liam more and more.. I don't want to feel like that towards him, but somehow I do." I bit my lip. "I know you might want me to move on, but I can't. I promised you I wouldn't." I stared up at the stars and the moon.

                    The moon was full and very bright. It was the only light I had right now. "Zayn, I love you. So much. Please, let me be with you again!" I felt tears come to my eyes. "I want you to hold me, tell me everything's okay. Even when it's not. I want you to be sitting here with me wiping my tears away and telling me to stop acting like a baby. I want you to sing something softly in my ear as you fall asleep next to me. Even if it's that damn Ed Sheeran song, you sang non-stop. I never told you, but I honestly loved how you sang that. I loved how you sang anything. But Zayn, I promised to love you forever, do you promise the same?"

                         I know he's not gonna answer but I just took a pause to think about what to say next. I looked at Zayn's head-stone and sighed. I then saw head-lights coming up the road. I just shrugged it off. "I can't live without you. You were- are my everything. You're my world, my heart-"

         "Niall?"

                        I looked to where someone called my name. "Who are you talking to" the person asked again. Shit.. No. "Did you fucking follow me?!" "I was worried about you!" "Well I don't need you following me!" "Who are you talking to" the person asked again.

              "Zayn" I said quietly.